Although I am a terrible liar, a crappy actress, and a dreadful poker player, I do believe in the “fake it ’til you make it” philosophy. Or, as Neil Gaiman so eloquently rephrased it, “Pretend you’re good at it.” Especially as it applies to personal style. Life is tiring, difficult, and constantly in flux. Virtually no one will feel cheerful, energetic, and serene at all times, and if a lack of cheerfulness, energy, and serenity continues for an extended period, it becomes harder and harder to tap back into that positivity. Sometimes, you’ve gotta generate it yourself by any means necessary.
Originally posted 2011-04-11 06:18:10.
My e-mail conversation with reader Lianne – the one that sparked a post on dressing with a touch of butch – unearthed a very personal issue for me. Personal, surprising, and definitely relevant, so I wanted to share my quirky little epiphany with you folks.
I hit puberty in the late 80s, and went through high school in the early 90s. Girls my age didn’t really do skirts and dresses back then, at least not in my area. It was all about jeans. Over-sized jeans. Baggy tops, too. And that suited me just fine because pretty much the moment I became aware of my body, I became self-conscious about it. I wasn’t slim or traditionally pretty, I couldn’t afford the schmancy baggy jeans that the popular girls wore, and even if I could have I wasn’t popular anyway so I’m sure I would’ve just taken flak for being a poseur. Boys mostly avoided me … or adored me from afar, then expressed their feelings in obnoxious and infantile ways that just irked me. And I was a smart, driven over-achiever, which made me the target of teasing from all sides. I did everything I could to be invisible, and over-sized clothes were instrumental in my quest to go unnoticed.
Originally posted 2011-06-27 06:25:21.
E. dropped this one into the suggestion box back in July:
I would love to see a piece on how you can positively influence the self esteem of others around you. I find that I often have girl friends who have such poor self esteem and body image, and they look at me (I have relatively high self esteem) and they always wish they could mimic it. But they never actually do and instead just keep beating up on themselves. Any ideas on how I can help positively influence them to feel better about themselves? (I also think this would be good information for moms as well.)
Originally posted 2010-12-08 06:08:32.