A couple of weeks ago, reader M. dropped me a note about a body image crisis. She’d spent years and years learning to love and accept herself, and had finally reached what she considered to be a really healthy, serene, positive place. She was doing well in school, had a marvelous new boyfriend, and felt confident and on-track. But then she’d inexplicably gained some weight, and her clothes stopped fitting, and she just plummeted. She was depressed, and she was disappointed in herself for being depressed.
Originally posted 2011-11-09 06:18:37.
Most messages that pertain to beauty describe a fixed point. Beautiful is a goal, a set of characteristics that must be held up and striven for, a way of being that is reserved for a select few. Beautiful is something that can be achieved with ferocious dedication to exercise, generous investment in cosmetics, and meticulous attention to grooming. Beautiful is precious, difficult, and extremely narrow. In these messages, beauty is distant, foreign, tantalizing, and other. It is a destination at which we may never arrive, but which we must always be scrambling toward.
Originally posted 2013-01-25 06:23:45.
Since you are, no doubt, your own harshest critic.
Since you often look at yourself and see a mass of flaws.
Since your body-centric frustrations seem impossible to shake off.
Since constant self-loathing can exhaust you into depression.
Since permission can be key to unlocking self-acceptance and forgiveness.
Since you are so much more glorious than you realize and so much more worthy than you know, I am giving you a pass.
Today, whenever you look at your thighs and wish they were smaller, look at your wrinkles and wish they were gone, look at your reflection and wish it was different, I want you to think of me. Think of me saying, “YOU! You’re amazing. You are a stunning, luminous creature of beauty and there is no one else like you in this big, beauty-filled world. I see exactly how gorgeous you are, and I celebrate you.”
Originally posted 2011-05-26 06:17:06.