A frustrated reader e-mailed me this request:
Between visible panty lines and those funny back fat folds that my bra creates, I feel like my underwear often ruins my look. I’m not willing (or frankly able) to wear spanx all the time. I’m not comfortable in a thong. I often wear high-cut panties to match the waist on my pants and skirts even though on their own they look like granny panties. Cotton undies are good for health reasons, but I’ll do microfiber if the fabric on my pants or skirts is thin. How to balance comfort in one’s undergarments with a desire to keep a sleek line in clothing? I’m not terribly concerned that the undies look sexy on their own. I just want them to create a sleek line under my clothes without pinching me or compressing me too much.
Originally posted 2011-03-11 06:26:40.
Most people are unhappy. Have you noticed that? I’m beginning to believe that it’s just part of the human condition to feel constantly restless, dissatisfied, and envious of others. We hang so much of our self-worth on comparisons: How do we measure up to other people in our income tax brackets? Neighborhoods? Social circles? And, when we’re feeling particularly vulnerable, how do we compare to the fabulously wealthy, tremendously successful, and impossibly beautiful? And that paradigm sets us all up to feel slighted and dumped-upon and unlucky.
Originally posted 2011-03-03 06:09:13.
If you put on an outfit that you feel is super cute, but absolutely no one gives you positive reinforcement on it, are you more likely to continue wearing that outfit/type of outfit or would you consider rethinking its composition? Even if we think we make bold personal fashion choices, do we actually inadvertently tailor our personal style based on environment and that we take cues from others – spoken or unspoken – as part of our style evolution?
I think that personal style is heavily influenced by peer, family, coworker, and stranger feedback. Few women who live in rural areas adore pencil skirts with heels, few women living in nursing homes shop at Hot Topic, and very few female corporate lawyers wear Birkenstocks to the office. Peer group feedback – in the form of compliments, questions, looks askance, and outright insults – creates a loop of response, whether we acknowledge it or not. Positive feedback and acceptance help keep group-approved clothing and styles in heavy rotation. Insults and disapproval may provoke initial rebellion and over-wear, but for most of us these doses of negativity eventually lead to the removal of group-shunned clothing and styles from rotation.
Originally posted 2009-06-05 06:06:00.