What’s the matter with your life?
Why you gotta mess with mine?
Don’t keep sweating what I do
Cuz I’m gonna be just fine.
~ Salt-n-Pepa, “None of Your Business
A dear friend of mine teaches fitness classes out on the West Coast. She e-mailed me recently to say that someone stopped her at the gym to ask if she’d put on weight. And as I lay on the floor gasping in horror at such an invasive, rude, and insulting question, I realized something: THAT question is socially inappropriate, as we all know. But so is it’s mirror image, “Have you lost weight?” Your weight is nobody’s business but your own. Fluctuations in your weight are nobody’s business but your own. Ever. Why on earth do people feel so free to inquire about weight, or express concern and dismay over someone’s weight loss or gain, or pass judgment so openly about weight-related matters? Changes in weight can be caused by a vast array of circumstances, and a perceived change tells the observer virtually nothing about those circumstances.
Originally posted 2010-03-22 06:50:00.
Many of you have requested some guidelines for dressing to suit your chronological age and although I’ve touched on some loose guidelines for women over 40, I wanted to address this topic from a more general standpoint.
But first, the caveats:
There are about a billion guides to age-appropriate dressing out there, and I know that many of them have proven invaluable to many women. I’m not a huge fan of such guides because they leave so little room for individuality and variation. Like all sets of rules, they are rigid and inflexible and assume a lot about bodies, goals, and needs. I don’t believe that fat women should never wear formfitting clothes, I don’t believe that short women should never wear long skirts, and I don’t believe that women of ANY age should be automatically excluded from any garments or styles. We are informed adults who know our figures. We can make those calls on an individual basis.
Originally posted 2010-10-19 05:02:00.
I’ve spent a long time refining my personal style. A loooooooong time, my friends. I first described my style as “arty-eclectic with a broad streak of retro influence” many years ago, and once I had that nailed, I decided to switch to badassery. I’ve defined how I want to look, accumulated a wardrobe full of pieces that align with my style goals, and cultivated an eye for items that will fit naturally with my established aesthetic.
But I also make every effort to remain flexible. I’ve successfully created a defined, personalized, and quintessentially “me” style and I love that. But I always want to be willing to absorb new looks and contemplate new styles. Establishing and becoming comfortable within my personal style parameters doesn’t mean I’ve ceased to evolve. I consciously branch out all the time to see what ELSE I can absorb.
Originally posted 2010-10-06 05:17:00.