Posts Categorized: psychology

Fears of Androgyny

My e-mail conversation with reader Lianne – the one that sparked a post on dressing with a touch of butch – unearthed a very personal issue for me. Personal, surprising, and definitely relevant, so I wanted to share my quirky little epiphany with you folks.

I hit puberty in the late 80s, and went through high school in the early 90s. Girls my age didn’t really do skirts and dresses back then, at least not in my area. It was all about jeans. Over-sized jeans. Baggy tops, too. And that suited me just fine because pretty much the moment I became aware of my body, I became self-conscious about it.  I wasn’t slim or traditionally pretty, I couldn’t afford the schmancy baggy jeans that the popular girls wore, and even if I could have I wasn’t popular anyway so I’m sure I would’ve just taken flak for being a poseur. Boys mostly avoided me … or adored me from afar, then expressed their feelings in obnoxious and infantile ways that just irked me. And I was a smart, driven over-achiever, which made me the target of teasing from all sides. I did everything I could to be invisible, and over-sized clothes were instrumental in my quest to go unnoticed. read more

Originally posted 2011-06-27 06:25:21.

Reader Request: Resisting the Siren Song of Catalogs

catalog-shoppingrb wants to know …

How to not get sucked in by catalog images? I have a fairly tailored style but I get lured by relaxed clothing – Eileen Fisher, J Jill – because those models look great and relaxed and clean and really elegant. But when I get those items home and put them on, I look like I’m wearing my pajamas. Most models are my height (5’11”) but not my shape (curvy, bottom heavy) so I can’t usually imagine how these things will look on me. I’m sure others struggle with that. read more

Originally posted 2010-12-03 06:32:00.

What Will You Wear?


A pair of platform heels can make you feel like an Amazon. A slouchy sweater can make you feel comforted. A formal gown can make you feel like a princess. Black leather combat boots can make you feel like a badass. A tailored blazer can make you feel like a grown-up. Running shorts can make you feel like an Olympian. A pair of leggings can make you feel completely at ease. An heirloom locket can make you feel connected to your ancestors. A lacy bra can make you feel like a minx. A classic trenchcoat can make you feel like a starlet. Your favorite t-shirt can make you feel unique and present and happy to be alive. read more

Originally posted 2010-08-19 05:33:00.