Read Part II right here!
Reader R. has written to me a couple of times and I would like to adopt her as my sister. She is a kind and contemplative young woman and my correspondence with her is always thought-provoking and rewarding for us both. She wrote to me recently with some concerns about trash talking, and since it’s a behavior that ALL of us have dealt with at one time or another, I wanted to share some of our conversation with you all. And, of course, gather your input and thoughts on this touchy subject.
Originally posted 2010-04-29 05:25:00.
I recently bought a new pair of workout pants. My old pair was made from a surprisingly breathable nylon-esque fabric, featured several handy-dandy pockets, and was a style that flattered my figure … if you don’t count the waistband. That waistband dug into my midsection like a vole digs into the loamy spring earth: With GUSTO.* And eventually, I got tired of feeling segmented and self-conscious and bought a new pair with a less constricting waistband that make me feel much less segmented and self-conscious.
Originally posted 2009-05-26 05:56:00.
Like most of the best things in life, learning to love yourself takes time. Committing to self-acceptance and cultivating tenderness toward your own body are both fantastic initial steps. Acknowledging that the definition of beauty does encompass you can kick-start the process. But don’t expect to rewire your brain overnight. Most negative body thoughts take time to eradicate, and patience is key.
And even after you’ve made tremendous strides, even after you feel that you’ve done the brunt of the work, even after you know that you’ve drastically improved your self-image, you will still struggle. Do not expect to love yourself completely and wholly every day of your life. It may sound like a worthy goal, but it’s actually a trap. Because if you hold yourself to that standard – the standard of consistent, unwavering, holistic self-love – you are quite likely to fail. And when you catch yourself wishing your upper lip was less hairy or your thighs a bit slimmer, you may feel guilt or shame. Since the goal of striving for self-love is to abandon guilt and shame, this is counterproductive. You will have tough days, moments of frustration with your body and inner self. You will doubt.
Originally posted 2015-07-02 06:48:40.