Posts Tagged: self-esteem

Fears of Androgyny

My e-mail conversation with reader Lianne – the one that sparked a post on dressing with a touch of butch – unearthed a very personal issue for me. Personal, surprising, and definitely relevant, so I wanted to share my quirky little epiphany with you folks.

I hit puberty in the late 80s, and went through high school in the early 90s. Girls my age didn’t really do skirts and dresses back then, at least not in my area. It was all about jeans. Over-sized jeans. Baggy tops, too. And that suited me just fine because pretty much the moment I became aware of my body, I became self-conscious about it.¬† I wasn’t slim or traditionally pretty, I couldn’t afford the schmancy baggy jeans that the popular girls wore, and even if I could have I wasn’t popular anyway so I’m sure I would’ve just taken flak for being a poseur. Boys mostly avoided me … or adored me from afar, then expressed their feelings in obnoxious and infantile ways that just irked me. And I was a smart, driven over-achiever, which made me the target of teasing from all sides. I did everything I could to be invisible, and over-sized clothes were instrumental in my quest to go unnoticed. READ MORE

Originally posted 2011-06-27 06:25:21.

Body Love, Pride, and Vanity

Occasionally, someone will pipe up in a conversation about body image to request consideration of pride and vanity. Suggestions of praising one’s own body aloud – either into a mirror or in conversation with others – can seem not only challenging, but downright conceited to some. Lavishing adoration upon one’s physical form is so far from the norm that it can feel foreign, uncomfortable, even dirty and shameful. Body love and self-acceptance are important, but at what point do we veer over into body worship and self-absorption? READ MORE

Originally posted 2013-01-31 06:05:47.

How to Love Yourself

how to love yourself

After decades of hetero-centric Valentine’s Day stories and articles that talk about savoring love, finding love, and keeping love with another person, it seems like there followed a tidal wave of “love yourself” topics and ideas for this holiday. And those have now become a little cliche. But since I’m in favor of self-love EVERY day, since I think loving yourself can enhance your ability to be a good partner, and since the topic of self-love can be extremely daunting, I’m going to cliche it up for the day. READ MORE

Originally posted 2013-02-14 06:16:39.