karma

Thrifting Karma

by Sally on November 2, 2012 · 33 comments

Over the past six months or so, I’ve been doing far more donating, consigning, and gifting of old clothing than I have been purchasing new. I finally reached the tipping point where I felt like opening my closet door was an exercise in guilt. I could hear my wardrobe whispering to me, “Why haven’t you worn that herringbone skirt yet? You wanted it badly enough to purchase it and it’s been sitting here for ages. You FAILURE! Money down the tubes!”

So I decided I’d be better off getting these unworn or under-worn items into the hands of people who would use and love them. And, in several energetic closet purges, I removed most of the clothing, shoes, and accessories that were weighing me down.

I generally cull out a few of the newer pieces from more recognizable brands to consign. That “money down the tubes” bit haunts me, and I’ll admit to wanting to recoup at least SOME of my losses. But the thrifter in me knows how utterly fantastic it feels to stumble upon an amazing, well-made, fun, fantastic find at the local thrift emporium. So, since I’ve landed some mind-blowing bargains in my day, I feel like putting a few spendy, trendy pieces back into the thrift pool is good karma. I’ve been lucky myself, and would love to help some other eagle-eyed thrifter feel equally lucky.

I know that “thrift karma” isn’t a real thing. Putting more desirable or valuable items into the thrifting pool doesn’t make it more likely that I’ll discover more desirable or valuable items myself. Unless you count re-discovering your own old items on the shelves, which I don’t. And, naturally, it feels good to donate some spendy items because I know they’ll mean higher profits for the charities I choose to support. But a huge portion of my motivation stems from imagining a shopper at my local ARC’s Value Village lighting upon my old, barely-worn Fluevog sandals and nearly keeling over in sheer delight.

Do you believe in thrift karma? Ever donate newer or trendier items instead of consigning in hopes of keeping the thrift pool above average?

Image courtesy Style Fuse Diaries.

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Dressing to Honor Your Body

by Sally on June 6, 2012 · 19 comments

There are so many ways to honor your physical form. Practicing yoga, enjoying your sexuality, eating mindfully and with great relish, honing your skills as an athlete, absorbing a wonderful massage. And, of course, voicing gratitude aloud or in writing is a fantastic way to show your body love and admiration.

But an often-overlooked way to pay tribute to your body is to dress it in a way that makes you feel amazing, strong, gorgeous, and unique. Or all of the above! As I’ve said many times, we must all dress on a daily basis, and doing so can feel mundane and even oppressive at times. But by viewing dressing as an act of praise, it becomes an easy, near-constant celebration of the body. By dressing to our strengths and favorite aspects, we do our bodies a small but powerful honor. By transforming the act of dressing into an act of love, we recapture and even expand upon that power.

The way you choose to honor your body through dressing will be totally unique. This concept doesn’t rely on traditional ideas of figure flattery or femme archetypes, doesn’t mean spike heels and red lips. Not to everyone. Dressing to honor your body can mean slipping on a silky caftan that makes you feel utterly goddess-like. It can mean wearing your favorite red bra under your sweatshirt as a fun little secret. It can mean taking a day off from stiff suits and constricting hose and relaxing into your favorite old jeans. It can mean wearing a favorite frock to work or class. It can mean making each outfit a riot of color. Whatever clothing makes you feel connected to and loving toward your body will do the trick.

The idea of the body as a temple has been around for ages, but too often the sentiment stops there. What is a temple for? Acts of praise and honor and reverence. If your body is a temple, consider honoring it. And if you’re looking for a new way to do that, consider dressing in a way that helps you to feel like your best self.

Images via Wardobe Oxygen (left) and Eek! (right), two of my longtime favorite bloggers who, I believe, dress to honor their bodies.

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Body Image Mantras for Doubters

by Sally on May 14, 2012 · 21 comments

I have a background in New Agey-ness. Honest. I worked at a metaphysical book publisher for years, and I did so because I’m a double Capricorn with Taurus rising and am quite sure that information has real bearing on my life path. I have experienced the power of visualization, seen spells work, and received practical, helpful advice from Tarot readings. I don’t just want to believe, I actually do. In more cases than not.

But there’s a certain segment of self-help, New Age, advice-y stuff that makes me go, “Eh.” And for years, that included mantras. I talk a lot and write even more, so you’d think that I’d GET how powerful words can be. Especially in repetition. But I didn’t. Until I hit a wall in my own body image work and started reciting a few on my own. And they worked.

For doubters like me, I think mantras must be kept simple, positive, and universal. Looking in the mirror each morning and saying, “My body is lovely and unique in every way, and will remain so no matter what,” is absolutely worthwhile. But it’s also a bit convoluted. A variant on the phrase above, “My whole being is beautiful,” might work better, and even encompasses the you beyond your body. Doing, “I don’t have to conform to anyone else’s beauty ideal,” hits an important note, but does so from a reactive standpoint. In my experience, mantras resonate when they’re affirming, so focusing on the positive always helps. Try, “My beauty is unique and true,” instead.  And although something specific like, “My hips and curves enhance my fabulousness,” will work wonders if you’ve honed in on a specific body area that troubles you, “My figure is fab,” might stick in your mind a bit better in the long run.

Here are a few other body image mantras that might work, even for staunch for mantra-doubters:

  • Thank you, body, for all that you do.
  • I am strong, I am good.
  • When I see myself, I see beauty.
  • My body is sacred.
  • I am powerful and strong.
  • My beauty is my own.
  • I love who I am, body and soul.

You can also go the cheeky route – blow yourself a kiss, experiment with, “Hey, good lookin’!” do something playful. But for any mantra – fun or serious – to be effective, it must be consistent for a decent chunk of time and it must be out loud. I know that last bit may sound like a deal-breaker to some of you doubters, but I’m TELLING you. Saying something out loud gives it a power that reciting it internally seldom can. Think about putting on your favorite dress. If you look in the mirror and are pleased, you’ll smile. But if you look in the mirror and are blown away by your own hotness, you’ll exclaim aloud. Which of those expresses the stronger emotion?

Mantras aren’t for everyone, and I’ll admit to falling off this bandwagon myself fairly regularly. But I’ve been amazed by how these seemingly small, easy, simple phrases can shift my self-perception and boost my body image when repeated regularly. And I’m hoping this little tribute to them will drag some of you doubters over to the other side.

How do you feel about mantras in general? Body image mantras specifically? Can you imagine taking one on for yourself? Would you be willing to try – even for a week? (Hint, hint, nudge, nudge.)

Image via Rosie Molinary.

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Compliment Cheat Sheet

by Sally on February 17, 2012 · 63 comments

Every time you turn around, it seems like someone is extolling the virtues of compliments. They’re good for your health! They build goodwill! They build confidence in both giver and recipient! All very true. (OK, not sure about the measurable health benefits, but there are probably some.) Still, doling out compliments can feel daunting. Where do you start? Who will be a willing recipient? What should you say?

Well in my opinion, you should:

  • Start anywhere
  • Assume everyone will be a willing recipient
  • Say something genuine

That’s not specific enough? You’re still daunted? Right-o, here are some incredibly simple, training-wheel ideas to get you started:

FORMULAS

Your ____ is gorgeous! (Hairdo, handbag, manicure)

I love your ____. (Shoes, eyeshadow, tattoo)

What a great _____! (Sweater, shade of lipstick,

EASY ITEMS

I’m just sitting over here coveting your shoes. Don’t mind me.

That dress is phenomenal.

What a superb hat! And you wear it so well.

I have to ask: Where did you get that amazing coat?

I’m seriously considering stealing that scarf right offa you.

BEAUTIFUL BODY BITS

Just had to tell you that your skin is completely radiant.

You’ve got the most elegant posture!

I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but you’ve got a truly gorgeous smile.

I can’t get over your gorgeous curls.

SPECIFICS

That color looks incredible on you.

I adore your haircut. So chic!

I just love how you tied your scarf.

That combination of pieces is simply marvelous.

I pretty much love everything about your outfit.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Give out one of these to a total stranger, one to an acquaintance, and one to a friend. Do it by next Friday or I will totally come knocking at your door to wag my finger at you. You think I kid.

Just remember: Compliments are among the most trackable forms of present-life karma. You’ve gotta give ‘em out to get ‘em. And eventually, giving and receiving will feel equally amazing.

Also see:

Image courtesy Lupo Lupo.

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