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I love these shoes. Deeply. But they are yet to be worn.

A gift from the truly wonderful K.Line at the beginning of the shopping ban, these arrived with a BOXFUL of gifties that I have enjoyed again and again. K. wanted to encourage me to follow through with the ban, which I so appreciated, but her gifts mostly just convinced me of her personal awesomeness.

I was so excited to receive these last fall and knew they’d be a go-to pair. The adorable buckle detail, totally walkable heel, high gloss patent and slightly retro styling ALL appealed. But soon it began to snow and I looked to my boot collection for cold weather-wearage. Even though I sometimes carry a pair of shoes to the office, I really prefer boots when it’s freezing and snowing.

But now it’s summer and I have no excuses! These WILL get worn this month, I declare it!

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A recent article in The Sunday Times listed some reasons why and circumstances under which it is actually advisable to splurge on yourself. It was an interesting little read, but I can’t say I agreed with every idea that the piece put forth. For instance, the following made me balk:

Spend big at sample sales and outlet stores. Your inner accountant loves a bargain.

YIKES. The still-flailing addict, fresh from her 6-month shopping ban, nearly choked on her soup when she read this. I mean, I engage in retail therapy, and actually do condone it under some circumstances. I love a bargain more than is truly healthy. And I have spent many a happy birthday trolling the outlet mall, collecting heaps of cheapish goodies to take home with me. But even I know that this is pretty terrible advice.

OK, all right, I realize that this article is talking about splurging: The act of spending a chunk on something that is pure fun for the sake of rewarding yourself. And since sample sales and outlet stores are where we shop when we want to spend willy-nilly, when we have money to burn and no real wishlist, I suppose that follows. But it still makes my blood run cold to think of telling someone to go hog wild at the outlets in this economy. Or really, under any circumstances.

Because I’ve just about decided that sales are a forbidding frenemy. We adore them, because they grant us access to items we can’t afford at full price. But we abhor them for tricking us into purchasing things that don’t quite fit, or don’t really suit, or are identical to things we already have, or aren’t even CLOSE to what we need. We buy these unnecessary, ill-suited items simply because their prices were too good to pass up. Sales summon up our frugality and our greed simultaneously, pit our desire to have something applicable and specific against our desire to have something fun for less than it’s worth. Sales and outlet malls are dangerous to all but the most disciplined and focused of shoppers.

And I am about as focused as a cotton ball when presented with a fantastic sale spread. So there are two things that I try to keep in mind when I am faced with my frenemy:

1. The Full Price Test: You’ve heard this one, I’m sure. Look at the item, look at the price, and ask yourself, “Would I pay full price for this?” If yes, why didn’t you purchase it when it WAS full price? If no, why are you considering buying it now?

2. Eliminating Urgency: This is a Husband Mike trick, bless his wily soul. Look at the item, look at the price, and say to yourself, “This is not the last good deal in the world.” It can be tough to implement this one if you’re considering a limited edition, since other deals will surface but other versions of that specific item may not. But if you’re just trolling for a bargain, any bargain, the one that’s sitting in your lap right now is not the last one that will ever cozy up to yas.

I try my best to use one or both of these little mental tests when I am pondering an impulse sale purchase. Even still, I often cave. Presented with the opportunity to get something pretty for a piddly price, I am frequently too weak to reason my way out of purchasing.

So I’ve started to steer clear. I don’t even GO to Banana Republic when they’re having a massive sale unless I’ve got extra pocket money … because the act of entering the store leads to the act of purchasing something that I love but don’t need and cannot afford.

Sales are undeniably fun, and if wrangled carefully they can be extremely useful tools for the savvy shopper. But the bargain mentality can mess with your willpower, and unless you’re happily flush, that’s just plain BAD. I have a love-hate relationship with them myself, and am not sure I’ll ever be able to use them without getting used right back.

Do you struggle to remain financially reasonable at sales? How do you keep your spending in check? How about outlet malls? Can you go there for something specific, buy it, and go home?

Image courtesy the Justified Sinner.

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Thrifting for Trends

by Sal on May 7, 2009 · 37 comments


My shopping ban showed me about my motivations for spending, the value of saving, and how to make $10 go a looooong way. But one truly unexpected ban lesson was this: Thrift stores are a FANTASTIC place to shop for the current season’s hottest trends. Seems ass-backwards, no? Why would a place peddling secondhand junk be a goldmine for of-the-moment pieces?

Because, friends, nothing is truly new. Designers may present fresh mixtures of colors or pairings of fabrics, and a new shoe shape emerges every so often … but most of the “hot new trends” are only trendy because someone of import SAYS they are. And the bald fact is that someone of import probably said the same thing about 15 years ago.

Everything old is new again. Just think about some of the hippest styles for Spring 2009:

Pegged, pleated slacks: I can tell you right now that the VAST majority of slacks in thrift stores are both pleated and tapered. Ripe for the pegging.

Stacks of big bangles: Snap ‘em up for $0.50 apiece!

Maxi dresses: Anyone heard of the 1970s? Hells, anyone heard of the last two springs? Floor-length summer dresses are plentiful at many thrift emporia.

Destroyed boyfriend jeans: You could pay $300 for a meticulously ruined pair … or $3 for a pair you can ruin in your own special way. Or even $2 for a pre-ruined pair in a size up!

Neon: Helloooooo ’80s! Neon pieces have been languishing unloved in secondhand stores worldwide, just waiting for a resurgence of interest in the 1980s. And now it has finally arrived.

Florals: If you’ve got a pair of scissors and a sewing machine, you can work wonders on the endless floral dresses that crowd the thrift store racks. Blouses and skirts abound, too, in my experience.

Hot pink: Weeellll, any COLOR-based trend will be easy thrift-pickings.

Rompers and jumpsuits: Maybe a bit harder to find than some of the others, but since this is a tricky trend that is likely to fade fast, you’re better off searching around for a cheapie than laying down your dough for something spendy.

I could go on, but I think you get my drift. Whatever the mags are deeming must-haves this season have been thusly deemed in the past, loved for a few sweet months, and abandoned. Take advantage of the cycles of style and thrift for your trendy accents.

Now, we all have our thrifting limits and mine are hoisery and hair/head stuff. I won’t be nabbing my cropped leggings or feather fascinators from ARC’s Value Village. Many people also feel squeamish about thrifting shoes … and although I have no qualms myself, I’ve never successfully thrifted trendy, of-the-moment shoes. Aside from mainstays that cycle in and out – combat boots, platform pumps, and similar – you’re unlikely to find the season’s hottest footwear lining the racks at Salvos.

But if you invest some time and energy in scouring the racks of your local Goodwills, Salvation Armies, and the like, you are almost certain to come up with armloads of trendy pieces for pennies. And while it might be faster to hit Target or Wal-Mart to procure such goodies, thrifting them means you’re giving your dollars to a good cause, helping recycle discarded goods, AND getting a version of a trendy item that no one else within a 100-mile radius is likely to own. You are a donor, a champion of the environment, and a true style original all at once.

SCORE.

Do you thrift for trends, dear readers? Is this all old news? Or, if you’re a thrift fanatic but don’t give a hoot about what’s “hot” and “fresh,” how do your beloved thrift stores serve you best? Are there any other unexpected areas in which thrift stores excel that you’d care to share?

Images courtesy vistavision.

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Seeing post after post of Andrea in her yellow shoes, looking chic and fun and original, made me itch to copy her originality. (Get it?) I became obsessed with finding my own adorable, outfit-completing yellow shoes. This pair popped up on Modcloth in late fall and, being mid-ban, I had to BEG Husband Mike to buy them for me for Hanukkah.

He did. I love them. It is May and I am yet to wear them.

But you can bet your life I will! Just a matter of time. These shoes fit into a category for me: Slightly Unusual Basics That Are Good to Have On-hand. I do, in fact, purchase items that I either love or feel I should have and squirrel them away unworn. My white button-downs languished for ages, several handbags are yet to be used, a dress or two remains unworn. But 97% of these items stick around for months and months because I just KNOW they’ll serve a future purpose. And when inspiration strikes and the exact right outfit has been assembled in my head, they emerge triumphant, and I am SO GLAD that I sought them out and procured them because they are the exact right thing to complete said outfit.

Guarantee that will happen with these shoes.

Anyone else shop like that, or am I a mutant?

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SF Recap: The Story

by Sal on April 14, 2009 · 43 comments

Well, friends, I don’t want to move back to SF. And I did have a moment – walking up Market towards the Castro Safeway, looking out over the house-dotted hills with the radio tower and the rolling clouds – where my heart squoze in panic and my brain shouted, “Get OUT! You don’t belong here!”

I got over it. But not so much that I want to move back. Despite having a truly lovely time on the trip, of course.

So here’s a rundown of what we did. Only have photos of select activities, so you’ll have to use your imagination on the rest.

We arrived Wednesday evening and had a delicious dinner at Burgermeister – an old fave of mine – in the Castro. Audi and her superawesome boyfriend, Mark, gave us a quick walking tour of the Castro and Lower Haight and then we crashed.

Thursday, we took the F down to the Ferry Building, which is full of quaint little upscale grocers and shops. This was the first non-ban day, and I’ll admit to buying two necklaces in about 10 minutes at the little street vendors on the plaza … but that was all I bought that day, I swear.

We had an AMAZING lunch at The Slanted Door, a restaurant I’d never had the chance to try while living in SF. Can’t recommend that place enough – especially now that they’ve relocated to the Ferry Building and you can chow down on Vietnamese spring rolls while gazing at the Bay Bridge.

After lunch we walked up Market toward Union Square, and spent the afternoon strolling around that bustling area. I introduced Husband Mike to the wonderful worlds of Paul Smith and John Varvatos. The Varvatos store is filled with limited edition photos of the Stones, the Dead, Springsteen, Dylan and just about every other beloved rocker you can think of … so that appealed to my photographer husband just about as much as the amazing duds.

We headed back up Market to the Castro, but hadn’t gotten too far before it was time to head back toward the Mission for my tattoo appointment.


I had booked time with Audi’s artist, Cecelia, at Warlock Tattoo many months in advance. My simple design was likely quite boring to a total master such as she. Seriously, check out Audi’s work sometime … it’s breathtaking.


We had walked for about 8 hours that day and I’m ashamed to admit that I packed THE WRONG SHOES. My slight wedges turned out to be devices of torture. So when Cecelia got going on me, even though my neck is a fairly sensitive area, all I could think was, “I am SO GLAD to be lying down! Do whatever you want to my neck, just don’t make me get up from this massage table.”


That’s the fresh ink thar. Bright red neck and all. Why a crown, you ask? Read about my deep-seated personal attachment to this symbol here.

Friday was shopping day, and our first stop was the big Goodwill downtown. I scored a bale of wonderful stuff, which I’ll show yas tomorrow, but we only got one photo of the experience. I’m trying on a wrap dress that didn’t quite fit.


Then we hit the Haight, my old ‘hood. A close friend had driven up from L.A. the night before and we had planned to meet up Friday evening … but while we lunched with Audi and Mark, he walked right in. I mean really, what are the odds? So he and his girlfriend shopped with us for much of the afternoon. How fun!


I’d had my eye on those Fluevog Bills for months, and the fact that they were flat-soled and my wedges were about to kill me, sealed the deal. I just adore them, even though I may only get one more wearing out of them until fall.


Husband Mike hit Amoeba Music – a mere half-block from my old apartment, and a store that I was once unable to enter without dropping at LEAST $80 on CDs – while Audi and I hit more clothing stores. My favorite? Held Over, a vintage emporium that was a bit out of my price range nine years back but yielded my favorite purchase of the trip.

We had an indescribably delicious dinner at Home (that’s the name of the restaurant) that night. Pot roast, mac and cheese, cornbread … it’s a comfort food lover’s heaven.


Saturday we hit Japan Town for some sadly mediocre Japanese food, a quick tour of the Japan Center, and stop at the famed Soko Hardware. I still love Japantown with all my heart.


Tehilah, this one’s for you. See that? Hanukkah Roll, featuring – what else? – smoked salmon.


My L.A. friend, Amirali, and his truly-lovely-girlfriend-who-I-wish-still-lived-in-Mpls-so-we-could-hang-out-all-the-time JoAnna braved Fisherman’s Wharf with us, all for a glimpse of these schmos. I could gaze at the nervy sea lions who took over Pier 39 for endless hours, giving running commentary on their antics to anyone who’ll listen. Or just to myself. Doesn’t matter.


My parents took us out to SF when I was in high school, and we ate at Scoma’s. We loved it so much that we ate there again before leaving a week later. We NEVER do that.

Sadly, my crab cakes were sub-par on this visit … but HM had some mind-blowingly good salmon. And we witnessed an epic seagull battle on the roof of the restaurant.


Sunday we scampered around in Golden Gate Park for a while, spending much of our time in the Japanese Tea Garden. Can you tell we had ridiculously gorgeous weather pretty much the whole time we were there?


Next we hit the DeYoung, where we saw a Warhol exhibit and an Yves Saint Laurent exhibit. I kinda hate Warhol’s work, but the exhibit was masterfully curated – multimedia explorations of the work and the man, an excellent Warhol 101 – and I enjoyed it more than I expected to. The YSL was chock full of pretty frocks, and it was fun to see some superfamous designs in person.


Then Audi drove us out to Land’s End for some gorgeous views and a lovely outdoor walk.



It may not be my cup of tea – hometown-wise – but there’s no denying that San Francisco is one of the most gorgeous cities in the world.


Audi couldn’t have been a more generous and accommodating hostess. She drove us all over creation, did whatever we wanted, and always had great suggestions for eateries and activities when our minds went blank. Meeting her was, hands down, the best thing about this trip. I miss her already!

Now, as you know, the trip coincided with the end of the shopping ban. I feel a little weird about showing off all of my purchases, and wasn’t actually planning to do so. But I got SO MANY comments from you fine folks asking to see the loot, that I caved. Tune in tomorrow for the fairly aptly dubbed “Sal Gone Wild” post!

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The Dangers of a Wishlist

by Sal on April 2, 2009 · 32 comments


I have kept a shopping wishlist for years. After all, I am a Capricorn who enjoys orderliness, organization, and lists of all types. It gives me great pleasure to stumble upon gorgeous dresses and perfect sandals and chunky necklaces, and tuck them all away into a Word document on my home computer for leisurely drool-sessions at later dates.

But in the final weeks of my shopping ban, my wishlist began wreaking havoc on my self-control. It took on a life of its own, and went from soothing-tool-for-preplanned-purchasing to anxiety-producing-procurement-list.

Supply and demand have always monkeyed with my shopping habits. Nothing drives me more insane than falling in love with an item, saving patiently until I have enough to purchase it, and finding it sold out. This pattern of anticipation and disappointment has made me a compulsive checker. If I am planning to purchase something that I know may sell out, I have a hard time quieting my anxiety until I’ve secured it. So I check online every few days to make sure it’s still there, still in my size, and not yet on sale for less than I’m planning to pay.

As the ban end drew near, my wishlist began to grow. Exponentially. The light at the end of the tunnel prompted me to pre-shop for items I would FINALLY be able to purchase, guilt-free, once the fated day arrived.* But those items weren’t generalities like “brown belt” or “leopard-print cardi” … they were specifics like Boden Fun Skirt and Kork-ease metallic platforms and Anthro Jahoda corset top. These were not basics that could be thrifted. They were current-season products that might be gone by the time I was allowed to purchase them.

And MAN did that make me anxious. I was eager to shop freely again, and would have money to do so … but I had inadvertently trapped myself into being excited to buy things that I might not be able to procure.

All this led to my recent shoe transgression, a situation that would never have arisen had I not earmarked those sandals and checked on them compulsively. They would’ve passed me by, and I likely would’ve shifted my focus to something new. Instead, I bought them and knowingly broke my agreement with myself.

I don’t think I could stop keeping a wishlist even if I wanted to. More than half of what goes onto that list never gets bought, and under normal circumstances it really does make me happy just to dream about purchasing them all. But in the past month, I’ve felt the dangers of wishlist maintenance. Keeping tabs on items that are within my financial means can generate undue anxiety. After all, I need nothing; These items truly represent wishes, and any anxiety I may feel over their procurement is wholly fabricated. But that doesn’t mean it feels any less real or drives me any less batso.

Do you keep a wishlist? Does it contain only items that you might actually afford, only items you could NEVER afford, or a mixture of both? Does it help you stay on track financially or does it meddle with your self-control? How often do you check up on your earmarked items? What do you do if they sell out?

*That day is today, as a matter of fact. My ban posts are running about two weeks behind real-time!

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I Left My Heart …

by Sal on April 2, 2009 · 17 comments

I have snuck off again! As you read this, I am snug asleep in Audi‘s apartment in San Francisco. Husband Mike and I are here through next Monday so I’ll be absent from comments … but as always, have some goodies pre-cooked for your reading pleasure.

A little background on this trip: I lived in San Francisco for about two years right out of college and HATED it. Mostly due to a bad relationship, a bad job, and a seeming inability to forge any friendships. It was Dot-com Boom time, and most folks my age were in the city for a lucrative stopover, no intention of putting down roots. Midwestern me couldn’t STAND the transitory feel of … well, everything. So I bailed in 2000, and moved to Minneapolis, where I’ve lived happily ever since.

We had a stopover in SF last fall and found that I still harbored ill will against the entire city. But a few months back Audi kindly offered to put us up, and since she’d done her graduate degree in Minnesota and HATED it here, I knew I couldn’t refuse. I feel that I am here on the first leg of a Grown-Up Exchange program in which Audi and I convince each other that our respective cities are, in fact, awesome.

I’m getting a head start by giving her this hostess gift on arrival:


Yes, that is a hand-picked selection of Minnesota-themed gifts in a BASKET SHAPED LIKE THE STATE OF MINNESOTA. I am more than a little pleased with myself.

Contents:
Pearson’s Nut Goodies
A magnet that says “Uff da!
Wild rice soup
Some little Aveda samples
A deck of cards with a loon on the back
DVDs of “Purple Rain” and “Fargo” (the latter of which takes place mostly in Minneapolis and Brainerd, despite the title)

Not pictured, but added later:
A copy of Mitch Hedberg‘s “Mitch All Together”*
Two lovely photos from Husband Mike

Additionally, since the Shopping Ban officially ends TODAY, I think there’s a good chance that awesomeness will be had on this vacation. Don’t you agree? (Ban posts are about two weeks behind realtime, if you’ll recall.)

*Mitch is a St. Paul native, and rivals Eddie Izzard as my favorite comedian. Mitch is also the originator of a favorite style quote, “This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it’s dirty.”

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Shop It To Me

by Sal on April 1, 2009 · 7 comments


I am signed up for about 70 gazillion super secret sample sale sites, and get e-mails from an equally appalling number of retailers notifying me of that week’s in-house bargains. And most of them get deleted unread as soon as they dump into my inbox, because I can’t afford the samples and don’t care TOO much about free shipping from J.Crew (with $150 minimum purchase).

But twice a week, I get an e-mail from Shop It To Me, and I actually SAVE it till I get home from work so that I can pore over it uninterrupted. No lie.

This site offers a service of sorts: Sign up, divulge your favorite brands and stores, and let SITM find the deals for you. Your personalized e-mail will contain links to merch from brands you’ve hand-selected, and feels like it was assembled by your own little personal shopper. I enjoy the thrill of the hunt, my friends, but there’s something supremely rewarding about seeing sale selections from brands and stores that I adore laid out before me … with no chaff to sift through.

Now, I’ll admit I’ve never BOUGHT from my Shop It To Me e-mail … but I’ve been on a shopping ban, if you’ll recall. So believe me when I say that I fully intend to once that ban has lifted. And if this site sounds as good to you as it did to me, click here to sign up for your own personalized e-mails!

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