Shopping Ban Update: One Year Later

(For the entire Shopping Ban saga, click here.)

I think we’re overdue for a shopping ban update, but things have been a little wild and wooly lately, as you’ll soon read … so hopefully you can forgive the lapse.

When last I wrote about my post-ban activity, I’d been having a tough time saving. At this point, I’m having a tough time checking my spending … but I have done A LOT to ensure that I’m saving more. As usual, though, I’m gonna hit you with the bad news first.

I got an unexpected wad of tax return money a few months back, and although I had grand plans to pay down some debts and sock it away for an upcoming trip, that didn’t happen. Not a dime of it remains. And, as often happens when I encounter a large windfall, I have had a hard time reigning in the spending of my miscellaneous income SINCE then. The Sunday Shoes feature will continue full force for many, many weeks to some thanks to the recent - and even ongoing - binge.

And it may sound like rationalization, and maybe it is, but let me tell you, my dears, it has been a tough six months. Tough. My sister became very ill over the holidays. I was having almost daily panic attacks for a while. I became depressed and gained unexpected weight. I found out I’m glucose intolerant and basically need to stop eating sugar and carbs. I became an insomniac quite suddenly, partially due to chronic back pain. I’ve been battling some … ehem … ladyparts problems for nearly a year. I fell out with several close friends within the space of a few months. All of that on top of working a full time job, keeping up the blog, Shop Local Shops, style consult clients, reader mail, and several other projects I’ve got in the hopper. Not to mention going to the gym four times per week, trying to maintain a social life, and tending to my marriage.

Now I don’t use this space to vent or throw myself pity parties, and as I said above I realize that none of these events entitles me to an endless shopping spree. Nor will any of these events be made better by an endless shopping spree. But at a certain point? I’ll do anything to make myself feel a wee bit better. Shopping helps, at least momentarily. Bringing something undeniably good into my world, treating myself to something that makes me feel pretty - all temporary balms. Is that healthy? Fuck no. But I’m not binge drinking or smoking weed or hurting anyone. I’m paying ALL my bills, I’m not debting a dime, and as you’ll see below I am actually saving far more than ever before. So I’m gonna cut myself some slack and hope that better times are coming, and with them, decreased shoe purchases.

Now. Let’s talk accomplishments.

Many of you recommended funneling money into a separate account, one that I couldn’t touch. That is the smartness. And, as it turns out, I had an account just waiting to be used. When I took out my car loan at our credit union, I had to set up a savings account there. It had been languishing with the requisite $10 in it, and I figured it would be the perfect place to squirrel away some cash. Mainly because I have NO FLIPPIN’ IDEA how to withdraw anything from it. I’d have to actually go to a branch and talk to someone, and even then I’m not so sure I could pry the dollars loose. Ideal, no? I’m only socking $30 per paycheck into that account, but it’s been really fun to see the balance grow. And I hope to increase that amount soon.

I have also been able to save in my normal cash savings account on a regular basis, and without making too many shoe-related withdrawls. In fact, I had enough in there that, when HM and I finally settled on dates for our upcoming trip to Iceland (!), I could easily fork over the $800 without feeling as if I had emptied my personal coffers. I will now have to put some focus on saving for the remaining trip costs, which is already proving difficult. But I am excited to travel for the first time in years, and that’s a big motivator. (See this post for an explanation of why I have been loathe to travel recently.)

Finally, my car loan AND student loan will both be paid off within the next month. I'll still have a my credit card debt, but once that's gone I will be free of personal debt. And what’s more? I am excited to have cash freed up that I can start putting into my various retirement accounts. Yes, indeed, I am excited to save!

I have hope, ya know? I’m still in a tough spot right now, but it doesn’t feel permanent. It feels like I am in the middle of some hard life changes and turning to an old addiction to ease the transition. I am aware of what’s going on, and why I’m buying, buying, buying. And that awareness has gotta be worth something.

- - - - -

Once again, I’m going to ask you all to be respectful and kind in these comments. This is a difficult and deeply personal matter for me. More so, in some ways, than body image. In my last post on this topic, I got an outpouring of support and incredibly helpful suggestions, which I both appreciated and applied (as you read above). But in the past, I have been lambasted and judged for my honesty in these shopping ban/financial posts, so I am eternally wary. As I said six months ago, you may think countless nasty things about me because of how I've handled my post-ban behavior and finances, but I will not publish those nasty things here under any circumstances.

Shopping Ban Update: One Year Later

Here goes ...

One year ago, I began a 6 month shopping ban. You can read the epic saga right here, but, in a nutshell, I was shopping and spending unchecked, causing financial damage, and feeling utterly lost and out-of-control. So - as many style bloggers have done before me - I decided to create a self-imposed ban. I knew quitting cold turkey would just backfire, so I allowed myself $10 per week to spend on used clothing, shoes, and accessories. Nothing new for 6 months besides gifts.

It was fun and it was hard and it was weird and Already Pretty readers had varied reactions. Some were supportive of my project, some fascinated by my progress, and some mean about my slip-ups ... which is why it took me until now to give a real update. And when it was all over - back in April of this year - I went to SF and shopped my little heart out with Audi to celebrate my freedom.

And then I continued to celebrate.

And seem to be continuing, even now, to celebrate the end of the ban. Which is to say that, although I have not dented my savings - the $1,300 that I wanted to keep as my safety net - I have not actually saved. Which means a LOT of money has gone out the door and a LOT of gorgeous things have been procured. And a LOT of guilt and anxiety over it all has been experienced.

To be clear, a portion of my paycheck goes directly into retirement accounts. I have a pension. HM and I have a joint savings account to which I have contributed faithfully, every month. My credit card is still hidden in an undisclosed location, I have been paying it down, and will not retrieve it until it is paid off and an emergency arises. Lest you think I am utterly incapable of fiscal responsibility, I share with you these facts.

And yet, I have not put one thin dime into my personal savings account in six months. And despite the aforementioned guilt and anxiety, neither has eclipsed my desire to spend. I feel like I am still rebelling against those self-imposed restraints, still panicky at the idea that, any minute now, my ability to buy things I want and love will be stripped away.

I said to Cal, "I think I need another ban."

And she said, "Um, I think what you need is ANYTHING BUT another ban. You purged for six months and have been binging ever since. Try another tactic."

I said to Trinknitty, "I have such issues with shopping."

And she said, "Seems like you're fine with shopping. You love doing it, it's your major creative outlet, you've got the space for your acquisitions, and you're not putting yourself into debt doing it. YOUR problem is with saving."

And it's good to have friends with brains, who understand me and can lay down the law. Talking to them forced me to do the thinking I'd been avoiding for so very, very long. So here comes the really personal, confessional style stuff.

Cal and Trin are both right. Although I learned a lot from my shopping ban, and it was a journey that taught me about my reasons and triggers for spending, and it put me in a better financial place, the bottom line is that it didn't actually CHANGE my behaviors. It gave me insight, but it did not change me. And another ban will not change me, either. The root of my problem isn't shopping. I love shopping and have the financial and storage capacity to shop regularly and allow myself to enjoy it. I express myself through my style, and making that activity forbidden just makes it all the more tempting.

I have money problems. I have had money problems since I was 10 years old and discovered the power of money and started taking $20 bills out of my dad's wallet on the sly to buy candy. The main problem I have is that the act of spending money is strongly linked to both independence and power in my mind. I love to feel independent, love to feel powerful ... so spending whenever I want to is a behavior I find hard to keep in check. Whenever I make a large or unnecessary purchase, just before I hand over the debit card or click "buy," I actually do hesitate. But then an insistent voice pipes up, saying, "HEY. It's YOUR money. You can do whatever you want with it." And I buy. And I feel momentarily in control, and independent, and a little rebellious. And I have not figured out what, if anything, can be done to create balance.

Other contributing factors:

• I don't get a lot of buyer's remorse: I LOVE the stuff I buy, and only return it if it doesn't fit. I'm not buying willy-nilly, I'm buying quite mindfully.
  
• I don't enjoy saving. I get no pleasure from seeing a big balance in my savings account, and am yet to feel like my savings are a great accomplishment or asset.
• I am not emotionally in touch with any savings-related goals. I'm in a place where building my wardrobe and exploring my style is pretty close to top financial priority. (I realize that will change as I age, but for now ... that's where I'm at.)
• Two years ago, my house was broken into and both our cars stolen. I was in NYC visiting friends at the time. I am STILL scared to travel for long periods, freaked out about leaving my home unattended, which means a fairly normal savings goal for someone in my position (travel) is actually a bit repellent to me.
  
• I am stubborn and have a hard time changing my own behaviors.

Trin also said, "Just pick an amount to put into savings every paycheck. Anything outside that, you get to spend."

It is a simple plan, and for a while it worked. I have backslid since then, to be completely honest, but I still think this is still my best option. And I am doing it now.

I don't need to shop less. I am the only one who gets to decide when I have enough shoes and dresses and necklaces. And as someone who regularly donates clothes to charity, gives items away to friends, repurposes items, and sells on eBay, it is likely to be an endless cycle of things I love coming in and things I'm done with going out. And that's completely fine, considering my life and lifestyle. What I need to do is spend the money I have earmarked for SPENDING, and save the money I have earmarked for saving.

So that's where I'm at. I am yet to connect with my emotional motivator to save money, but I'm going to try to just make saving a habit. Not necessarily conceptualize it as saving "for" something, but just saving to be wise and prepared. I want to make my peace with this aspect of being an adult that has simply never clicked for me, but I don't really know how or when that will happen. Still, I need to prime the pump and become accustomed to regular, uninterrupted saving. And the plan of simply saving a chunk of each paycheck and spending the leftovers seems simple and makes sense.

So here goes ...

- - -
Not to be repetitive, but while constructive comments are always welcome, spiteful ones are never welcome. You may think any number of nasty things about me because of how I've handled my post-ban behavior and finances, but I will not publish those nasty things here under any circumstances.

Shopping Ban Update ... Sort of ...

I've had several people ask for an update on the shopping ban now that it's been over for several months ... but I'm afraid I'm not ready to provide one just yet.

I got some really, REALLY nasty comments from readers about the ban towards the end. I didn't publish many of them because they were so hurtful and, I felt, not the least bit constructive. I cheated a few times as things were winding down, and some readers told me they thought I was setting a bad example, being irresponsible, acting stupidly and selfishly, buying stuff I didn't need, and all sorts of other judgmental stuff that was very difficult to hear ... especially as I was doing this experiment for myself, with no intention of setting any example, good or bad.

To clarify, I used the shopping ban to explore my own spending issues and work on a behavior that had challenged me for a long time, and I chose to share that journey. If my actions were inspirational to people, that's fantastic! I never encouraged anyone to follow in my footsteps, but if they wanted to, that was just fine. Being told that I was disappointing people by not living up to their standards for ban-behavior, however, felt upsetting and unfair. I understand that publishing writings about myself may make me a minor role model, whether I want to be or not. But I felt maliciously judged by some of these comments in a way that shamed me for being honest about my missteps. Like I was being told that anything less than perfect-superhuman behavior was unacceptable. And, as I've said, I am far from perfect. FAR, people.

Now, I do love it when my readers challenge me, and disagree with me, ask me the tough questions, and get fired up about issues that we can all discuss together. So don't get me wrong and think that I expect everyone to lavish me with praise no matter what I say or do. Not at all. But I am even more sensitive about money than I am about weight, and sharing the shopping ban was even more difficult than sharing my body-image hang-ups. To get a big dose of comment-based shame for my actions has made me very wary of sharing that type of information again.

So I'm not immediately ready to write about ban-related matters, especially as I have continued to struggle with my finances in the aftermath. In October, once a full year has gone by, I promise a mondo recap ... but I'm simply not ready yet. I need some more distance on the whole experience before I'm ready to share again.

Image courtesy uvm.edu

Shopping Ban: Over to You UPDATED

Don't forget to check out the wonderful women who have undertaken shopping bans of their own, and chosen to share their journeys. Collected links and commentary here.

Shopping Ban: Over to You UPDATED

Many of you have commented that you've undertaken shopping bans of your own. Some, like me, need to get your finances in shape. Others are overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of clothes already amassed and want to force a shopping slowdown. Some of you are broke or laid off or otherwise UNABLE to shop to your heart's delight. And I'm sure there are countless other motivations for the many bans in effect worldwide.

If you're restricting your spending now as a personal project, please comment here and let us know where we can read more about your experiences! I will revise this post in a few weeks to include links and comments from the Beautiful and the Banned so that anyone contemplating a similar endeavor can pore over the gamut of perspectives before crafting her own plan.

Image courtesy Sarah and Mike ...probably.

Here are our lovely respondents!

Simple Elegance: I actually just posted a re-cap of my Spring budget, and I'm getting ready to plan my summer budget. I'm going to install some new "shopping guidelines" for the summer. I can't take on a full shopping ban, because I'm still lacking a lot of essentials, and I want to beef up my work wardrobe a bit. But I've begun to really re-think how I shop, and I'm trying to learn to re-kindle my love of thrifting.

wimbittworld: I am semi-playong along with The Wear Everything Challenge. So, my personal goal has been to not buy myself anything at all to wear from April 1st until July 1st. I have found that there is a lot of stuff in my closet that virtually never pull out to put on, and there are quite a few things that when i put them on, i take them right off and drop them into the charity box. I didn't realize I had so much stuff that I do not ever weven want to wear. you can find me at http://wimbittworld.wordpress.com, but it is a daily personal blog, not a fashion thing. Some posts are about the clothes and some are about college and you know, just my life.

Soon to be PhD: I started my own shopping ban, referencing your blog for inspiration in fact. The purpose of my ban is to refocus my energy away from shopping (since I tend to over research the heck out of my purchases) to my actual work. My blog references my story...

LeeHovey: Hey Sal!
I just started my first shopping can May 1st (to run the full month), though a few have commented that the $30 limit I put in place makes it more of a "diet" than a ban. I did this because the thought of having NO money to buy anything made me feel like I was having a heart attack, so I did the math. If I only spent $30 a week for a whole year, thats only $1500 (approximately), which seems reasonable to me on my salary and lifestyle. I probably spend twice that right now.
Anyway, one of the rules I set was that I MUST blog about it, so fee free to follow! :)
(Doll, I can't access your profile - will you let us know where to find you?)

Solo Lisa: I did a ban for almost 5 months last year and summed up my experiences in these posts: -the beginning of the ban-the time I totally caved and asked my readers to chip in about what to do-some tips to help others get started-what happened when I ended the ban-post-ban reflectionsWhew, I think that's it. :)

modern eve: i just started mine...alittle scary, but it is going to be so good for me.

In Kari's Wardrobe: What a good discussion! I started on a brief "shopping ban" recently because there is a good chance that I will be unemployed for part of this summer and I am very cautious about spending less than I earn & not dipping into savings/emergency fund. However, I re-evaluated my finances and decided that I had room for a couple more things (namely holes in my shoe wardrobe) provided that they are smart and long-lasting purchases. I will most likely be on a ban of indefinite length beginning this summer, though, and I'm interested to see how other bloggers tackle this issue.

My Fashion Chronicle:I just sort of jumped in head first with a shopping ban - four months, no new clothing, shoes, or accessories. I'm in a transitional phase in my life and don't need to expand my wardrobe, so I thought this would be a good time to experiment with a ban. Ultimately I hope to become smarter about spending money on clothes - no more buying items that get worn once or twice then die a slow death at the back of my closet. The other goal is to learn the art mixing and matching. Instead of buying something new to fill a perceived gap in my wardrobe, I should figure out how to put together the items I already own in new ways.

I've had a lapse (as you know - thank you so much for the kind words of encouragement!) but don't regret my purchases, which (I hope) means that these lessons are starting to take root.

ManFashion Interlude: BANNED

Here are Husband Mike's thoughts on my six-month shopping ban. PROMISE that I only edited for grammar!


It’s hard to believe that Sally’s ban was for 6 full months. Time went by pretty quickly. I have some thoughts and observations:

• At about month 3, things seemed to be pretty tough for Sally and there seemed to be an increase in requests for gifts and discussions about ways to justify purchases. My favorite was, “If you buy me some black tights, I’ll buy you something that costs the same.” This did not work and she made do without new black tights.
  
  
• Sally was significantly less worried about money. Many people use money for things other than clothes, and Sally was soon talking about buying concert tickets, getting cable TV, and even buying an actual TV (which is awesome; how I ever watched TV on a set smaller than 32” I will never know). This change of view helped me out as well. We began living life more fully when we weren’t worried about money.
  
  
• Sally was able to be more selective in her purchases. She knew when something was important to have, and when she had enough. Shoes seem to be an exception, but I do not really understand women with regards to shoes.
  
  
• Sally now seems more relaxed and secure having built a financial safety net as a result of not spending so much on clothes. It’s amazing to know how much better one feels when you know that you can pay for a major car repair without having to charge it.

As most of you know, we were in San Francisco when the banned ended. We scheduled the vacation around the ending of the ban, like any normal person would, and this was a good idea considering the good shopping that was to be had. (I bought a new hat.)

On the day the ban ended, Sally and I took a streetcar to an outdoor market to look around. It took Sally 11 minutes to buy 2 necklaces. I timed her. I tried to discourage her initially by saying that the first necklace looked like a string of cocktail weenies, but she still bought it. The green turquoise necklace that followed was awesome, though.

Sally’s post-ban shopping activity was completely reasonable and rationally paced (after she got those two necklace purchases out of the way). It is great that she had her bloggy friend Audi to shop with since I do not have much patience when shopping. I hung out with Audi’s S.O., Mark, who is interested in all things and was a great travel companion.

As I write this, it is a week or so after the ban, and things around the house seem pretty normal. Sally seems excited to have money and realize that she has choices with the things she buys, and that the things she buys do not have to be clothes.

The greatest change I see in Sal’s post-ban life if that she is conscious of the choices she is making and aware of her feelings and motivations around her purchases. Her growth makes me want to try a life experiment of my own. I’m open to suggestions.

The Shopping Ban: A Recap

On April 2, I concluded a six-month shopping ban that allowed me $10 per week to spend on used/thrift and only exempted gift money. I did this because my finances had begun to spiral out of control, and I needed to take drastic action. If you're curious to review how this all started, you can do so here.

So let's start with the cheating, shall we? We had this, this, this, and this. Aside from occasionally exceeding my $10 limit by a few bucks and subtracting that money from my weekly food/coffee allowance, that's four indiscretions in 26 weeks. Two of them in the final month of the ban, which was a positively hellish month for me personally. One of them during the holiday/birthday extravaganza, which is very much in line with my spending patterns in years past. The remaining one was made up for over a period of four weeks. An imperfect record, to be sure, but not altogether appalling!

Now, on to the triumphs. This ban limited my recreational spending so severely that I was able to save for and pay for things that would've caused me tremendous stress and strain pre-ban. Husband Mike and I bought a new television. I paid for $700 of car repairs in cash. We took a trip to San Francisco. And, most importantly, I met my goal of creating a $1,300 savings cushion. On HM's advice, I opted to pay down my credit card debt slowly and save cash aggressively. My credit card debt is not much diminished after six months, but if an emergency occurs now, I can handle it with cash. And that's a really good feeling.

Here's a rundown of some other things I've learned over the past six months.


I will always turn to shopping when I am anxious/upset/depressed: I shop to soothe. That didn't change one bit over the past six months, and I doubt it ever will. I think I'll be able to control my urges more carefully since I am aware of their roots, but the urges themselves will still come. And since I could have substantially more destructive or self-destructive urges than the urge to spend my own money on things I love, I'm not too worried.

I do not need more "quantity": In previous years, I would hit the outlet mall with my birthday money. I'd do this so I could get the maximum amount of STUFF for my limited amount of cash. I loved coming home with bags and bags of new clothes. But now, that desire to procure quantity is pretty much eradicated. Forcing myself to thrift regularly also forced me to inventory my closet regularly, and the cupboard is full. My basics are well covered, and anything I seek now will be embellishment. I don't need to amass, I need to cull ... and anything incoming should be specific, lovely, and perfect.

Having money for miscellaneous feels good: My mentality previous to this ban was pretty extreme: I actively resented any non-bill-paying money that was spent on non-clothes. Oil changes for my car, fancy facial moisturizer, extra lunches out that didn't fit within my weekly alloted food money ... those things drove me NUTS. The ban allowed me mucho leeway when it came to these miscellaneous expenses, since they were non-ban expenses, and it was such a relief to be able to pay for them without getting all wound up about it.

Trends should be thrifted: I'm more interested in and susceptible to trends now than ever before ... and yet I was able to nab the latest and greatest from my thrift stores for cheap so long as I was willing to invest some time in searching. With the possible exception of shoes, I will likely seek out any and all trendy items via thrift. (That old saying, "Everything old is new again"? Clearly true if I can THRIFT the current season's trends, wouldn't you say?)

I've lost interest in similars: I found that the easiest way to talk myself out of an unnecessary purchase was to make myself admit that I already owned something similar. I have limited closet space, as we all do. And although I buy multiples of perfect pieces, I don't have room for scads of similars. If I could remember that something very close was already at my disposal, I could leave a potential purchase behind without a twinge.

Absolutes help my brain: This ban was pretty strict. Anything that was new and cost more than $10 was simply not allowed. And that meant that I could browse and drool and pine and add to my wishlist with relatively little danger of cheating. (Emphasis on the "relatively," of course.) I work better with rules that allow limited wiggle-room, and this set was specific enough to keep me on target. If I'd added any exceptions like, "essentials," or "underwear," I'm sure I would've found ways to work those loopholes. It was better to be cut-and-dried because of how I'm wired.

Saving feels good: I rode the line for YEARS, keeping my savings account at the minimum $300. Finally building that savings account up and amassing a decent cushion that will get me through most emergencies was extremely rewarding. It felt grown-up and responsible, but also ... soothing. I feel less anxious knowing that I have money on hand if something goes awry. My positive feelings surrounding saving might be the most valuable thing I gained from this ban because I know I'll continue to save responsibly from now on.


My behaviors surrounding shopping are unlikely to change unless I enlist outside help, and right now I don't think that's really necessary. I have had the duration of this ban to explore my motivations and my patterns of thought surrounding spending, and I trust that knowledge to help me make more informed decisions in the future. I will still binge. I will still shop when I should H.A.L.T. I will still succumb when I should resist. But when I do, I'll know why. And I feel certain that knowing why will help me do those things much, much less.

I am very glad the ban is done, but have decided that I will continue to allot $10 per week for thrifting as a way to help me save money. Lemme 'splain you: Since I enjoy the activity of shopping, I will utilize my $10 allowance to do some recreational, environmentally friendly spending on a weekly basis. Since there are many spendy items on my wishlist, I can save towards them mindfully while still allowing myself to enjoy shopping regularly. I sincerely doubt I'll shop every week, but I think I'll stay focused on saving if I have the option to do so - within set parameters.

I am also pondering how to limit my non-allowance spending. I might set it up so that I have to save $200 for every $100 I spend, or similar. Nothing is settled, but I want to make sure that saving is the priority, not shopping and accumulation. I realized this week that although most of my pre-ban disposable income was spent on clothes, I never actually put clothes into my meticulously-kept biweekly budget. If I budget for the things I want, obviously, it will help me acquire them responsibly. And it will help me to save regularly and effectively.

Finally, a post-ban anecdote: Last weekend, I stopped into Old Navy to kill some time before heading out to a movie. I tried on and bought a pair of khaki Bermuda shorts, a wishlist item for several months. They were $20. Not much, right? But I had already spent ALL of my clothing money for the week and that $20 put me in the hole. Pre-ban, I would've just taken the money out of savings and "justified" the purchase by telling myself that I wanted them sooooo much and it was OK to skim a little money off the top so that I could knock them off the list. But by the time the movie was over, I knew I had to return those stupid shorts. In fact, I wished I could return them RIGHT AWAY. I knew I'd snapped them up on impulse, that they were an item easily thrifted with patience, and that it would be too cold to wear them for the next six weeks anyway. So I erred ... but I corrected my error almost right away, and understood why I did it and that it was no irreversible. That felt pretty good.

Next week, we'll hear from Husband Mike who witnessed the offical end of the ban while we were on vacation in San Francisco, visiting lovely blogger Audi. What did he think of my behaviors during the ban? How did he feel seeing me unleashed on San Francisco, debit card in hand? Tune in next week to find out!

Image courtesy uvm.edu

SF Recap: The Stuff

OK, you asked for it. Here's a rundown of the things I bought on our trip to San Francisco, my first post-ban purchases. In case you're curious, I only spent two-thirds of the money I had allotted to shopping ... though I'll admit that the rest got spent once I'd returned home, on a handful of wishlist items, layaways, and a gift for Husband Mike.

Much of what I bought falls outside my stylistic comfort zone, and I LOVE that. It was really fun to amass a group of out-of-character pieces that will be challenging to incorporate into my daily style.

Now, you've already met Bill. So let's meet the rest of the gang, shall we? In order of purchase ... ...

Branch coral necklace
$19 at street vendor

HM hates this necklace. I am quite sure he'll love it after a few wearings.

Chalk turquoise necklace

$34 at street vendor

We BOTH love this one. I wore it immediately, and got at least seven compliments on it that day. Seirously.

Flame orange silk skirt
$3.50 at Goodwill

This little darling has tiny orange rhinestones bordering the entire slit. Love! Despite what my awkward posing may imply!

Zebra print sweaterdress
$6 at Goodwill

Very 80s, but also very flattering and supremely comfy. I am wearing my new studded sandals, Madden Girl Lusterus, which were a post-trip wishlist purchase.

Long taffeta skirt
$3.50 at Goodwill

and

Studded belt
$39 at some random store in the Haight

The belt will get tons of use. The skirt won't. But it was $3.50, I LOVED it, and I feel like my goal for the coming year should be finding a way to wear it to the office without drawing a thousand comments from my coworkers.

Floaty black layered skirt
$4 at Goodwill

and

Amazing belt
A gift from Audi, who MADE IT (!)

Audi is a master at layering skirts over other skirts, and layering skirts beneath dresses ... and I feel like I bought a whole slew of floaty skirts in SF because I've been meaning to try this technique out myself, possess zero floaty skirts, and was in close proximity to its mistress while shopping. This black one, however, is so lovely I may end up wearing it on its own.

As for the belt, my GAWD, don't you want one? Stop by Audi's brand new Etsy shop and order one custom. You'll love it, promise. This might be the most flattering belt I own.

Silk floral skirt
$4.50 at Goodwill

Weirdly, I'd tried on this very same skirt a week previous at my home Savers ... but that version was a size smaller, and too snug. Having it show up in the right size, post-ban, was a sign that it was MEANT to be mine, don't you think?

Wraps
$6 each at Goodwill

This is the last of the Goodwill haul. I spotted these draped over a random rack as I was headed to check out, and couldn't leave without them. The houndstooth is a gorgeous rayon weave from Anne Klein, the blue plaid has amazing detailing at both ends, and the green/brown is reversible merino. Woo hoo!

Cheap-ass earrings from a very Claire's-like store in the Haight

$9 each

I have been trying to increase my earring options, as I'm sick of recycling my same three pairs of hoops. I'm not branching out too much, as I am still a hoop girl, but trying to expand my collection. I've already worn both of these pairs several times since my return.

Dirndl
$60 at Held Over

And this, friends, is the pièce de résistance. Held Over had an entire RACK of dirndls, and although many were too costumey for my taste, this lavender one called to me. It was spendy, but is so well-made I could run over it with my car and it'd still look amazing. Plus this style of dress - fitted bodice, flared skirt - is one of my faves. Yes, it will get only occasional wear. But I will be SO HAPPY when I do wear it. So, so happy. I mean, just look at my grinny face up there!

As for the post-trip purchases, there were the Maddens listed above, I paid off my layaway Fluevs, and bought these, these, and these from Etsy as part of the aforementioned earring quest. Also nabbed some leggings, tights, and socks from Target, as those are items I refuse to thrift.

And that's that. I'll give my final thoughts on the ban and how it has affected me this Saturday, and then NEXT Saturday you'll hear HM's perspective. He has things to say, people. Things to say.

P.S. Since you've seen a billion photos of the crown tattoo by now, I thought I should finally show the OTHER recent tattoo that I mentioned back here. This little compass/star is courtesy John Sweet of Uptown Tattoo. I cannot recommend him enough - he is quick, skilled, and thorough in addition to being charming and totally hilarious. Expect a wait, though - I think he's three months out right now. And with good reason.

Ban Week 26: $10 Spent on ...

... this darling red skirt.

Red pencil skirt
$9.99 at Savers
Fulfills: Red pencil skirt (!)

Well, this seems a bit anticlimactic, but there it is. I came, I saw, I snapped it up. I’ve been hunting for a red pencil skirt – something more work-appropriate than my red denim one – for ages. This little love presented itself at Savers, and voila: Final week of ban shopping complete. I didn't have any hesitation, as I did back in the day, at the prospect of blowing the whole $10 on one piece. So that's a good sign, right?

And yes, I’m breaking my own non-opaques during spring transitional rule … but my friends, it SNOWED that week. There’s only so much willing-it-to-be-warm-by-dressing-like-it’s-warm a girl can do before she caves and puts on her thicker tights.

Next week, I'll hit you with a massive, treatise-style recap of the ban. And I've also asked Husband Mike, who was present on the day the ban lifted while we were vacationing in San Francisco, to write up his observations of Sal Gone Wild.

Which are YOU more curious to read?

Ban Week 25: $10 Spent on ...

On futurelint's recommendation, I headed down to the Salvation Army just north of downtown during week 25. It had been ages since I'd thrifted in person. In previous weeks, my weekends had been packed and my personal self too bone-tired to put in the effort. But week 25 was a short workweek, and I decided to scope this place out on my Friday off.

I tried on about 10 dresses and nearly as many blouses, none of which worked. But I was determined to find some treasures, so I turned to accessories ... and fared MUCH better.

Silver chain belt
$2 at Salvation Army Minneapolis
Fulfills: Chain belt (!)

Why have I been searching for a chain belt? No idea. I got a wild hare about one several months ago and have been on the lookout for a cute, funky model ever since. I realize this one could veer overly-80s or downright-tasteless if I'm not careful. Promise to be careful.

Skinny red patent belt
$2 at Salvation Army Minneapolis
Fulfills: Well, I was kinda looking for a skinny belt

I gravitate toward big-ass belts, but many of my dresses that call out for waist-cinching look positively weird sashed by obis. So a skinny belt was kind of on my list ... and anything red and shiny is ALWAYS on my list.

Hot pink and black scarf
$2 at Salvation Army Minneapolis
Fulfills: Oh, nothing really

This is a little on the Ikat side, I suppose ... so one could argue that I'm behind the trend-times. But I wanted it sheerly for its pairing of black and hot pink. I couldn't love that combo more if I tried.

Green jersey fringed
$2 at Salvation Army Minneapolis
Fulfills: DEFINITELY nothing

Another trend already on its way out: Fringe! Eh whatevs. This is cute and slinky and will look adorable under my jean jacket.

Black metal chain belt
$2 at Salvation Army Minneapolis
Fulfills: See above

You might be saying, "TWO chain belts, Sal? Why for?" And I hear that. But in addition to adding some punky flair to my more conservative outfits, this beaut can double as a giant, over-the-top statement necklace. I simply couldn't leave it behind!

Now, you may have noticed but these ban posts are two weeks behind realtime ... which that means that NEXT week's post will be the last before a giant recap. Did I cheat during my last week of this blessed shopping ban? You'll have to tune in next week and find out!

Ban Week 24: $10 Spent on ...

Well. So. Week 24 saw more cheating, as it turns out. With two and a half weeks left in the ban, I was already beginning to feel frustrated and annoyed. So close, yet so far away! My wishlist of items to buy once April 2 finally arrived was growing, taunting me. And honestly? It was another tough week. Things aren't exactly rosy here in Sal-ville these days, I'm afraid.

So when I HAPPENED to check up on these glorious Kenneth Cole Rocky Canyon sandals on Saturday morning, and they were magically $48 instead of $197 for that Saturday only, I didn't think twice. I knew they'd sell out, I knew I'd kick myself repeatedly in the shins for passing on them, and I knew I could just take the money out of my stash.

See, we've got a vacation planned that coincides with the ban ending, and I've been socking money away so I can shop then. But there's actually a good bit of money in my vacation stash, and I was more than happy to subtract $48 from it.

This is, of course, the kind of wiggy, mafia-type accounting that has gotten me in trouble in the past. Repeatedly. And I do feel some guilt, and I don't want to go sliding down that slippery slope again. But seriously, peeps. $48 for $197 sandals? A girl has only got so much restraint.

So, since there's no earthly way I can make up $48 worth of ban money in two and a half weeks, and since this cheat was drawn from another pot of money entirely, I am NOT going to sit the rest of the ban out. I know, it's only shopping. I should just suck it up. But here at the end of six months it's getting harder and harder to keep myself in check. And a couple more $10 thrift purchases will help. Tons.

P.S. The sandals were sold out in my size by the end of the day. Oh, and unlike some other sales that claim "One day only!" and then extend for weeks and weeks, these pups were $197 again on Sunday.

Ban Week 23: $10 Spent on ...

... this drapey jersey vest of gloriousness. Which is new. And cost me $20.


So here's the deal, friends. Week 23 was one of my top three worst weeks of all time. Like sporadic eating, sporadic sleeping, constant stomach woes, panic attacks on the bathroom floor at 4 a.m.-bad. And although this ban has taught me a lot about myself, and I feel like my attitudes about shopping will be altered when it is complete, and I have definitely made progress ... I still shop to soothe. And that's what happened here.

This vest hails from eBay seller bombshellvintage, but it is, in fact, a new garment. And it was $20. I'd been watching it get re-listed and re-listed and was worried that I'd miss out if I tried to hold off until April. And I was fucking miserable all week long, and finally ponying up for an item I desperately wanted gave me a small amount of joy in a dark, awful time.

So I'm going to consider this trespass as two week's allowance spent, and not worry about the fact that it's a new item. Because, hey - I could've gotten wasted every night, or eaten entire boxes of Oreos in single sittings, or just stopped going to work, or taken my misery out on Husband Mike. Laying down $20 for an awesome piece that I love in the middle of a hellish week seems like a relatively mild sin. I don't condone retail therapy overall, but sometimes it's the best quick fix for life sucking.

Back on the horse next week, promise.

Ban Week 22: $10 Spent on ...

... this spectacular faux fur collar. Mainly for wearage with last week's anorak.

Faux fur collar
$9.99 on eBay
Fulfills: Faux fur collar (!) for use with anorak, mainly

OK, so I try not to lift ideas DIRECTLY from my mags, and believe me I know that this jacket-collar combo won't get tons of use. But when I spied this look in the October issue of Lucky, it took my breath away. Try as I might, I couldn't get it out of my head. For months and months I tried to convince myself that there was no reason for me to procure the two separate pieces necessary to complete this mid-weight jackety deal.

I failed.

And as the collar is gorgeous and works with several other coats, AND the anorak is adorable on its own, I feel ... well, still feel kinda sheepish. Man, do I have an amazing collection of ridiculously underutilized fall- and spring-weight coats.

And now my collection has grown by one.

Ban Week 21: $10 Spent on ...

... this darling anorak.

Anorak

$9.99 on eBay
Fulfills: Anorak (!)

It's long and loose and made from heavy cotton and has a fantastic drawstring waist and a hood and awesome pockets and is everything I've wanted in this style of coat since I started lusting after one LAST spring. I was positively gleeful when I extracted it from its Priority Mail envelope and slipped it on. Cozy, rumpled perfection, I tell yas.

One of the most important things I've learned from the ban thus far is this: I am a bit more susceptible to trends and experimentation now than I was just one year ago ... but trendy pieces can be fashioned from common, readily-available pieces if you just style them creatively. And there's no reason to lay down tons of cash for trends when you can hunt them down in the thrift shops and on eBay for a teensy weensy fraction of the price. Especially if the trend is one that you think might lose its appeal in a year or two.

The closest I could find to my ideal anorak was a little $250 Hilary Radley number - and I'd much rather sink that money into a pair of classic shoes, a great handbag, or even my gol dang savings account. This piece was $9.99, is completely without damage, and has every feature I sought in an anorak. All it took to procure it was ... well, a year's patience and lots of hunting. But still! Worth it!

This anorak will do double duty. It will get worn alone, but will also get paired with NEXT week's purchase for an entirely different look ... but you'll have to wait till then to find out what I mean. Muah hahaaaa! Such suspense I keep you in.

P.S. I noticed a dropoff in traffic, and turns out my Bloglovin has been messed. Follow my blog with bloglovin´

Ban Week 20: $10 Spent on ...

... OK, you expected me to say "nothing," right? But you guys, look what I found:



These are THE SHOES. Fluevog Adagios, sold back in 2005 and in scarce supply since. The day I started the ban - October 2, 2008 - I unearthed a photo of this pair of shoes and showed it to Husband Mike.

"These," I explained, "are the one item for which I can break the ban without repercussions. If they come up on eBay, I will dip into my savings to purchase them. And I will likely spend a lot of money to do that."

"OK," he said. Because he understands me.

And you know what? They were $80. HAH! So reasonable! And they fit and are glorious and I left them on my dresser for a week so that I could revel in the fact that they were finally mine, and their presence in my life made me do this:

I did not, however, buy anything else as I had already pre-spent my $10 allotment for this week. I spent the weekend writing, and diligently not-buying.

And took frequent breaks from writing to gaze upon the Shoes of Joy.

Ban Week 19: $15.50 Spent on ...

... weeeelllll I actually spent week 20's allotment during week 19. I know, I know, I know. However since I am writing this post during week 21, I can assure you that I spent not one thin dime during week 20. No cheating, just pre-spending.

I allowed myself to bend the rules during week 19 because I knew I'd be trapped in the house writing all weekend during week 20. And sure enough, I was. Not a moment to shop, and not a penny to spend. My guilt is minimal. So let's see the goods, eh?

The first acquisition was this lovely:

Black cowl neck sweater

$11.50 on eBay
Fulfills: Black cowl neck sweater (!)

I have a black cashmere cowl neck that is getting a TON of wear this winter because it's the perfect top to pair with so many of my fun skirts. I love it to pieces, and was worried that I'd literally love it to pieces before its time, so I spent ages looking for a backup. The thrift stores failed me, so I turned to eBay. This Ralph Lauren number is an merino/angora/cashmere blend and fits perfectly - a bit loose and boxy, but not oversized and formless. Superscore.

Husband Mike will be showing his photos at a hospital in Hudson, Wisconsin, during this coming summer so we drove over there to check out the space. And no trip to Hudson is complete without a costume jewelry run at Abigail Page Antique Mall.

Two extremely long silvertone chains
$2 and $2.50 at Abigail Page Antique Mall
Fulfills: Ummmm.

I have several of these long jobbers and I adore them, mainly for necklace layering. These two are nice and heavy, and look great doubled up as well as worn long.

Rhinestone sweater clip
$4 Abigail Page Antique Mall
Fulfills: Double ummmm.

Yeah, I know sweater clips are meant to hold your cardi in place when it's draped over your shoulders but that's just not how I roll. I think this one looks cute worn like this, and have plans to experiment with it a bit ... maybe wear as a brooch or in conjunction with a brooch cluster. We shall see!

Giant wood and resin necklace
$6 Abigail Page Antique Mall
Fulfills: Never enough statement necklaces

It's hard for me to express in words how pleased I am to have landed this necklace. I love branch-y looking pieces, but some of them look too much like spiked dog collars on me. This one is perfect. PERFECT! I have already worn it once, and am busily building outfits around it as I type.

So, I had $15.50 to spend and spent $26 - spending the coming week's $10 and an additional $0.50 which came out of my weekly food allowance. And it could definitely be argued that the jewelry purchases were unnecessary. But, ya know, we were in Hudson and I just wanted to shop. So I did. Do you sense some slightly bratty defiance? Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

So there won't be any show-and-tell next week. If you guys want to hit me with some questions about the ban, I'd be happy to tackle those for the week 20 update!

Ban Week 18: $20.50 Spent on ...

... a whoooole bunch of non-wishlist stuff. I hit consignment stores during week 18 in hopes of landing a black cowlneck sweater with my whopping $20.50, but struck out. I did, however, manage to find some really, really fun stuff that wasn't on my list. Well some of it was KINDA on my list, as you'll see.

Cable knit tube top to wear as shawl-like dealybob

$4 at Nu Look Consignment
Fulfills: Experimentation

Yeah, this looks a bit odd. It's a work in progress.

I've seen several people do the knitted-tube-as-asymmetric-shawl thing and been inexplicably intrigued. Main inspiration derived from a Buffalo David Bitton ad featuring a lovely lady in slim gray jeans, tall black boots, and a black knitted-tube-as-asymmetric-shawl ... with NO undershirt. Slightly more demure myself, I knew I'd layer.

And I considered either knitting a tube myself, or bribing Trinkintty to knit me one ... but this top was only $4 and I figured it'd be great for fine tuning until I've decided if I REALLY like this look or not. Husband Mike votes "not."

This was my only purchase at Nu Look in Edina, despite the fact that most of the store was 75% off and there were countless good deals to be had. Next, I headed to my friendly neighborhood Turn Style, the site of the infamous camel-colored coat purchase, and found many fun goodies.

Leopard print ponyhair belt

$4.50 at TurnStyle
Fulfills: Sass

Let's get a closer look at this little darling:

Mmmm. Mad-Men-tastic. I just adore leopard print, and despite being a little on the pricey side (thriftily speaking), I couldn't resist this sweet little belt.

Hyperactive flowered button-down by Oilily

$1.14 at TurnStyle
Fulfills: Being awesome

Check out the GIGANTOR, ruffledy cuff action:

Mmmm. Crazy-cuff-tastic. Added bonus? I had picked this shirt out the day I found the camel coat, and had to put it back. It was $10 that day. It was $1.14 when I bought it. YESSSSSS.

Denim shirt dress
$1.56 at TurnStyle
Fulfills: Making lightweight dresses wearable during cool weather

As I've mentioned, I stole this trick from fellow blogger E, who layers shirt dresses like there's no tomorrow. This little western number is perfect with my cowboy boots from Spandex Pony's shop! AND! This TOO was a possible purchase on camel coat day. $20 then, $1.56 at purchase. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Hot pink poncho thingy
$3.75 at TurnStyle
Fulfills: Pop of color needs

I'm just a sucker for hot pink. I adore it. And this poncho is perfect for days when I need an extra layer, a pop of color, and/or something to disguise a cheeseburger-engorged belly.

That's a total of $14.95, kittens, leaving $5.55 to roll over to the following week. Think I finally found that black cowl neck? Tune in next week to find out! Same bat time, same ... oh, nevermind.

Ban Week 17: $10 Spent on ...

... nothing.

I'd like to say that my lack of spending during week 17 was a mindful penance for the previous week's cheating, but honestly? I was just busy. Ridiculously, frantically, mind-fryingly busy.

I was surprised to find that I wasn't longing to scour the racks at Savers, or resentful that my evenings and weekend-days were too packed to allow for thrift time. But not too surprised. Because there are two things I do when I'm bored: Snack and shop. And if I'm monstrously busy, I lose weight and save money.

Other recent revelations:

• Lack of scrambling around the Interwebs in a mad, ongoing search for my wishlist items is ... well, freeing.
  
  
• I haven't had time for a proper closet purge in ages, but I really want to MAKE time for one. Not because I think I've accumulated a bunch of crap that needs donating, but because I am not utilizing my closet's contents. I need to spend some real time with what I already have and concoct some new, exciting combinations. Because the winter blues are starting to set in and it's getting harder and harder to be creative in the morning.
  
  
• It's been exciting to have money to do non-shopping stuff. Pre-ban, I would squeeze every penny out of every paycheck, and often dip into my weekly eating-out-and-miscellaneous allowance to pay for clothes, shoes, and accessories. I feel so FLUSH now! I can eat out whenever I want, I can buy fancy journals, I can get more RAM for my computer. Previously, such expenditures would've stressed me out because I'd see the money as being taken away from possible fashion-y purchases. Nuts? Perhaps. But true. And it feels fantastic to let go of that mentality.

Still learning, still growing. And looking forward to April 2, when the ban will lift ... but also wondering if I should keep SOME parameters in place. Maybe strap on some spending training wheels until I'm sure I won't just go back to the old, self-destructive ways. Thoughts?

Image courtesy matze_ott.

A Plea for Patience

ASH Black Leather Lola Platform Ankle Boots

Dear BlueFly,

I have been searching for and lusting after these ASH booties ever since Jennine posted about them on The Coveted. Naturally, when I had birthday money to spend, they were sold out everywhere ... but now that the non-ban money is gone, you are selling them. For a reasonable price. In my size.

Could you please set aside a pair of size 39s for me until April 2? PLEASE? I mean super sparkly earnest shoe-loving pretty please? I swear I'll be good for the money once the ban lifts. I asked Husband Mike if he'd buy them for me now and let me pay him back then, but he said that would be cheating. I even used my puppy dog eyes, but no deal.

Seriously. Just tuck my size 39s in a corner. Be patient with me and I will pay you at midnight on April 1. I can get character witnesses to vouch for my reliability, if that would help.

Thank you for understanding,
Sally McGraw
Shoe Addict Extraordinaire

Ban Week 16: $10 Spent on ...

So let's get this out of the way.

You guys have been so supportive and forgiving about all my slip-ups: Spending $60 on a coat (which I paid off gradually by NOT shopping), ordering those obis before the birthday check from Mom arrived (which I diligently paid back once it came in the mail). But this one has no loophole, and I'm ready to face the music:

Week 16 was the week of my birthday, and I overspent my gift money by $115. Not a huge amount, in the grand scheme of things, but still. I did it willingly - ponied up for a pair of tall red boots that I KNEW I'd just kick myself for passing on - and was unwilling to return other purchases to account for the difference.

I feel like I've been in a vicious little vortex of almost-cheating for a while now, and it was a bit of a relief to just bite the bullet and cheat for real. I'm ashamed, I feel greedy, I hate myself a little. But I have more or less made my peace by now. Although the temptation to cheat further has been strong - once I'd screwed up, why not just keep going? - I have resisted. And I feel like the experience of breaking my agreement with myself has renewed my desire to behave from now on.

So there it is. Don't hate me, OK? OK.

There was also thrifting during birthday week, pre-cheat, and I landed some great (non-returnable) loot. Since I hadn't spent my $10 the week previous, I even had $20 at my disposal. Talk about birthday abundance!

Brown velvet blazer

$5.99 at ARC's Value Village
Fulfills: Brown velvet blazer(!)

This outfit is about seven years in the making. I bought that glorious tiered silk skirt at Banana Republic seriously about seven years ago, and have struggled to find a top to complement it ever since. FINALLY, last summer a stretch silk blouse fell into my hands at Marshalls, and I was able to wear the skirt in September ... but I knew a blazer would make the outfit cold-weather friendly. I sought out velvet to keep the outfit luxe-looking, and although this blazer is fairly cheaply made, the cut is so cute I'm willing to forgive it.

Studded belt

$4.99 at Savers
Fulfills: Studded belt(!)

Every thrift store in the Twin Cities has a giant, overflowing rack of belts. But do you know what's virtually NEVER lurking amongst those swaying strips of leather? Studded belts. This bad boy was a miracle find. I had to remove two studs to make it small enough, but it was an easy enough fix.

Houndstooth pencil skirt

$4.99 at Savers
Fulfills: Houndstooth pencil skirt(!)

It's snug. Rather scandalously so, but I can manage for now. And come warm weather and 12 mile round-trip bike rides to work, this little number will glide effortlessly over my southern regions.

Tie-neck blouse

$3.50 at Savers
Fulfills: Tie-neck blouse(!)

I've seen so many of my fellow bloggers rock this look, and just KNEW that if I waited long enough, a cute little printed tie-neck would turn up. Well an utterly adorable - albeit gigantic - printed tie-neck finally turned up. It's got pink chrysanthemums on a bright red background, it's a bit of a tent on me, and it's riddled with unbelievable static cling. But under my red sweater, it looks perfect.

Four wishlist items procured with $0.50 to spare? Damn, I'm good.

Well, actually, I'm BAD, as discussed above. But you can bet that'll be the last of it until April, when the ban finally lifts. Thanks to all of you lovely readers for providing some built-in accountability. If I hadn't been thinking of the embarrassing confession I'd have to make about my misstep, there probably would've been far more than $115 of overage. You're keeping me honest! Or honest-er, anyway. So, really, thanks.

And please, PLEASE don't hate me. OK? OK.