Doubt

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I want you to love yourself, today and every day. I want you to see how luminous, breathtaking, and flat-out gorgeous you are, just as you are. I want you to accept your body, and cherish it, and celebrate it with every breath you draw.

But I don’t want you to feel shame when you doubt that beauty or question that body. I don’t want you to find yourself wishing you were taller or bustier, and then spend hours self-flagellating. And I don’t, don’t, don’t want you to feel like a failure when negative body feelings crop up. READ MORE

Originally posted 2010-12-29 06:09:44.

In Defense of Matchy

In defense of matchy outfits - reasons to keep them in rotation!

Long ago, I declared myself the Mayor of Matchy-Matchytown. My style has since shifted significantly, but back then I made this declaration with a mixture of rebellious pride and giggly shame. The Style Goddesses and Gods have declared that it is far more chic to “go” than match. It takes more creativity, it looks more modern, it creates a more multifaceted and interesting look. All of these things are true. And although I have changed my style quite a bit in recent years, a little piece of my heart will always reside in Matchy-Matchytown, and here’s why: READ MORE

Originally posted 2013-08-30 06:31:40.

What Flattering Means to Me

figure flattery

I talk a lot about traditional figure flattery. In no small part because that’s what you folks tell me interests you, and because the questions you have are typically very specific and include topics not covered by style books and magazines. I find it fascinating to learn about the challenges you face in dressing your personal best, and love to explore options with you.

I’m also fascinated by the F*ck Flattering movement which was more or less sparked by a tee shirt designed by Gisela Ramirez, and have read with interest the responses to this conscious rebellion against fashion rules and dressing norms. In common use, “flattering” means something that “makes your body appear tall, thin, balanced, and hourglass-shaped.” It also implies limiting jiggle, covering cellulite, wrinkles, and scars, keeping a large bust in check, and lots of control-related mandates. Traditional ideas of figure flattery are rooted in a very narrow beauty ideal, tied to the male gaze and heteronormativity, and extremely exclusionary. Looking past the obvious sizeism, consider that some petite women will never appear tall and some thin women will never appear hourglassy. “Flattering,” in common use, tries to force a marvelously diverse population of women into a very specific idealized shape. READ MORE

Originally posted 2013-07-22 06:02:00.