A friend and I recently got into a fight about whose boobs were smaller. It was a fight with no winners, but it got me thinking about my personal arsenal of enboobening techniques. It is a small but powerful arsenal that includes obvious equipment, a few flattering styles, and one recently discovered secret weapon.
In the equipment department we have:
Push-up bras and derivatives
I wear a padded bra every damn day of my life. I have never found supposed miracle contraptions such as the WonderBra to be remotely effective in creating actual cleavage, which is likely a testament to exactly how small my girls are. But a little strategically placed padding is no sin.
I wore mine for my wedding, and have only hauled them out a handful of times since. But on those occasions, they have caused me tremendous boob-related joy. Chicken filets are a good item to have stashed in the back of the underwear drawer for that cocktail dress-related saggy-neckline emergency.
Equipment is key, but overall, I find the art of enboobening to be rooted in style and cut of clothing. A drape of cloth here, a carefully selected neckline there, and you’ve gone from flat to boobtastic.
I recently picked up a dress at TurnStyle that has a twist of cloth that lays almost smack dab between my girls, and I swear it makes me look an entire cup size bigger. Although the dress pictured here features a slightly lower knot, the extremely deep v of the halter creates the illusion of cleavage where there is none. While a wide v can just show off a cornfield-flat expanse of breastbone, a deep-but-narrow v will enbooben. Crazy, I know.
As I’ve mentioned, I find square necklines to be very flattering to a small bust. Unless you are quite literally flat, your boobs will slope out and down a little, away from your chest. A square neck frames the little bunny hills created by your booblets, creating a marvelous cleavage illusion. This works best with a slightly lower neckline than the one pictured here, but any square neck in a storm …
Something about ruching just ABOVE the bust – or even better, a little accordion of ruching between the twins – creates the illusion of more boobage. I can’t fully explain why, as ruching doesn’t provide gobs of extra cloth around the bustline. My only guess is that subtly drawing attention to your rack via some carefully placed wrinkles makes said rack appear somehow larger. Whatever the reason, ruching helps. Take it from me.
Wear with caution because – as a variation on a wide v – this is one of those cuts that can just make you look like Breastbone Betty. But if the ratio of width to depth is just right, the slightly curved neckline itself mirrors the lovely roundness of your boobs, and enboobens delightfully. (This style not recommended for those with square boobs.)
AND NOW THE SECRET WEAPON:
Now, this secret weapon only works if you have a defined waist and your tum is flatter than your boobs. But if you’ve got those two things going for you, please go out and purchase a shrug or bolero like this IMMEDIATELY. Husband Mike recently bought me a dress that came with a fire engine red bolero sweater. (Click here to see dress, partial bolero, and a very happy Sal dancing to “Wanderlust King” at dear friend Mel’s wedding.) And while it looks smashing with the dress, it also looks amazing over a little white tee. Or a cami. Or really anything because it draws lots of generally undue attention to my boobs. Like the sweetheart neck line, a curved hem bolero relies on the simple trick of mirroring the natural roundness of the aforementioned boobs. Simple, but elegant. Love it.
What do YOU do to enbooben? What have I forgotten, ye Ladies of the Wee Cups?