Lovely Links: 7/15/16

Before I dig into this week’s links, I need to say something, even though I sincerely doubt that anything I say right now will change the world for the better. I am so steeped in shock and horror over how terrifyingly out-of-control things have become in my country, right here in my city, in my own neighborhood even, that I cannot imagine my words could possibly have an impact. But I have a platform, albeit a small one, and I have a heart. And although I do my best to keep my content relatively apolitical, I can’t do that right now.

Last week, Philando Castile was shot four times by a St. Anthony, MN, police officer while his fiancee and her 4-year-old daughter looked on. This is not the first such shooting in the Twin Cities, and in my heart I know it won’t be the last. I have no doubt that when I muster up the courage to turn the news back on, I’ll hear about more fatal encounters between black civilians and white police officers. There doesn’t seem to be a corner of our massive country that isn’t battling the seething racism many of us have long hoped was finally ebbing away. It’s not ebbing. It’s flooding our streets and drowning our black citizens. The governing body paid to protect their lives and safety has become a force to be feared, and as Castile’s shooting proves, remaining calm, communicating clearly, and following the rules will not save them from quick, brutal, unjust deaths.

Hashtags and expressions of sympathy are not enough. Petitions are not enough. Join Campaign Zero or visit the site to find out how to take action. Call or write to your senators and representatives. Call or write to the Attorney General of your state or of the country. Call or write your state representatives and state senators, and your city council members. I have done all of these things, and have put a note in my calendar to do so again on the first of each month. I may be doing it forever, and it may never make an impact. But I will keep on doing it. Because doing nothing, saying nothing is complicity.

And if, like me, you are a white person and at a total loss about how to help and react, I highly recommend this post: 11 Things White People Can Do to Be Real Anti-Racist Allies. Also Sarah has a great post on resources and actions to take, and more are outlined here for anyone who wants to be truly helpful in this dark, senseless time.

Weekly Kitty:

simhar

They pretty much never cuddle for real, but they’ve started to do some proximity napping.

Loved this interview with the founder of eco-boutique Beklina.

This post from the Vivienne Files examines the concept of “must-haves,” and asserts that even my own short and general list from earlier this week is a bridge too far.

One of my favorite sustainable resources, LISSA the Shop, is now stocking plus sizes in a few key brands, with more to come!

The Silver Stylist creates a skillful print mix in this summery outfit.

Dapper Q is currently casting for it’s NYFW show at the Brooklyn Museum in Sepetmber – and you can submit your info digitally!

“[Actress Angela] Bassett has teamed up with her good friend, Dr. Barbara Sturm to create a [skin care] line that focuses on issues for melanin-rich skin, including inflammation, hyper pigmentation, and uneven skin tone.”

My color hero, Joi, looks radiant in her bold yellow vest and turquoise dress.

Yikes. Apparently Cosmo posted a tutorial on “back contouring.”

Looking for great deals on vintage Frye boots? Etsy is an AMAZING resource!

Liz reviews a few pieces from indie designer Rachel Antonoff’s collaboration with Gwynnie Bee.

“I suck in my stomach to look thinner than I am. I turn in my toes like a little girl. I slink my shoulders towards one another to be small, smaller, always smaller. And when I do these things, unnecessary contraction creates strain on my entire musculature. Under these conditions, not only does movement become more laborious, it becomes self-destructive. What is the medical term for trying to shrink because the world doesn’t want you to exist? I’m sick of trying to be small. The pursuit of smallness is literally breaking me.”

My Makeup Isn’t Inherently Anti-Feminist – But Your Body Policing Is

If you consider the items you bought just because they were big brand names and/or the ones that were cheap but didn’t work out in the end … does being a frequent thrift shopper actually save you money? (Via YLF)

I adored Melanie’s tribute to the late and undeniably great Bill Cunningham.

This LAMade minidress has subtle cutouts and would be a perfect summer tunic worn with skinnies and platform sandals.

Your body is not a ‘before’ or an ‘after,’ and neither is that woman’s changing body being shared online. You’re on a journey of a million befores and afters and a snapshot just can’t capture that beautiful reality. Sometimes those simplified, glorified comparison images actually distract people from positive health choices and experiences by turning the focus to appearance at the expense of fitness.”

The team at Hourglassy is thrilled with the Un Bra as a maternity and nursing option for big-busted women.

Lion Hunter puts her spin on the safari look with a long vest and body-con dress.

Debbie gives her thoughts on how weight fluctuations can trigger spurts of shopping, and shares some input from her community members on those topics.

Most of the Gudrun Sjödén summer line is on super sale right now!

Glenda looks updated-70s-fabulous in her flared jeans and platform sandals.

“I am not trying to define self-care with strict parameters. It looks different for everyone. And sometimes, for myself included, it does look like taking bubble baths, or watching Netflix, or eating junk food. But I think it’s important to question if we are truly committing to the robust, radical, preservational care of ourselves. If our self-care pushes against traditional value systems of worthiness and productivity. If we are resisting the culture that tries to marginalize, define, and shame us, and instead taking a radical approach to nurturing our bodies, minds, and spirits.”

I got a sample of this Boscia Exfoliating Peel Gel at Sephora a few weeks back, and I’m impressed. It’s ideal for people like me who have super sensitive skin but also pores that tend to get super clogged and skin that really benefits from serious-though-periodic exfoliation.

Finding Fulfillment Beyond Your Weight, Shape or Size

A truly helpful guide on how to shop for lingerie

Alison reviews some items from Everlane, pointing out that the brand is unfortunately designing for women sizes 10/12 and smaller. Check the comments, too, for input and recommendations from her readers. Zady offers some similarly minimalist designs and their XLs can frequently fit to a size 14/16.

From the Department of Random: A yummy way to save ferrets from the Sylvatic plague.

Additionally, since most of us are in desperate need of a good laugh, one from the vaults: “I caught a big efish.”

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details. Sustainable options are either used, handmade, made in the U.S., artisan made in non-sweatshop conditions, or made using sustainable/fair trade practices.

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  • Lorraine Meriles

    I love that you posted this. Like you, I am dismayed and frequently wonder if what I am doing is enough. Thank you. We all need to work together. Sympathy only goes so far when avoidable tragedy happens. We need true understanding and action.

  • Nebraskim

    Thank you, Sal. I agree.

  • calikancab

    Thank you! I’m white, and that article got a positive reception from my black friends.

  • Jane Jestson

    I am glad you are talking about this but I feel hopeless.

    I don’t think most white people have even heard of the term white privilege and most who have are vehemently opposed. Many white people think the biggest problem is reverse racism or that Obama has ruined and divided the country. I know so many people like that.

    I think we first need to develop empathy before any progress can be made. I hate that people feel like they have to take sides but so many white people support the police and status quo for no reason other than race. It seems to me that the percentage of white people who care and are allies are few. I think things are bund to get worse. Trump intends to stress “law and order” at his convention and we all know what that means.

  • CTolbert

    So you’re saying that all law enforcement officers are “a force to be feared?” That’s a broad brush, and patently unfair. Individual encounters need to be dealt with as such, and if the officers involved are found to be acting criminally, they should be prosecuted. But to attribute the actions of a few to an honorable force who will protect…no, who ARE protecting you, and all of us, is wrong and a misuse of your “platform.” Law enforcement officers go into harm’s way daily, and perform a service that most of us would not have the guts to do. Law enforcement officers protect the very individuals who target them physically and through their ignorant and uninformed statements. Law enforcement officers bravely step up and are targeted by the very people they are there to protect. I grieve for anyone targeted for race. I also grieve for the good, brave, and honest officers unfairly labeled the enemy. Words matter…and should be chosen carefully to avoid making the problem worse.

    • I agree it’s a broad brush, very true. But my exposure to the responses from law enforcement leadership (and rank and file) imbues me with the belief that they are taking virtually no blame for acting rashly, for a deeply ingrained problem that is clearly present in police forces nation-wide, for shooting suspects many, many times out of fear instead of even attempting to subdue them without use of a gun. Yes, police officers do incredibly brave and difficult work every day, and yes their lives are even more at risk now than ever before. I would never, ever argue with that. AND the shootings of police officers in retaliation disturb me to the core, and I don’t believe they are justified or helpful or a wise way forward – they are not moving us toward a solution, they are adding to the problem.

      But I do not believe that my statement here has made matters worse, not for taking a stand on the side of black citizens or for failing to defend the actions of the police. Everyone is suffering, it’s true. And people are being hurt and killed on both sides, which is unquestionably awful. But one group is a regulated governmental body that should have intense training, rules, repercussions, and individual members capable of handling the dangers and pressures of their jobs without panicking and killing people out of sheer fear. And killing them regularly. Everywhere. Like clockwork, it seems, at this point. The other group is an enormous body of unregulated non-governmental citizens that is being treated as one kind of person – the wrong kind, the kind to be feared, the kind that is assumed will become violent and dangerous no matter what.

      This is a horrible, messy situation and I hate that it exists. But much as I value the services of police officers as a white citizen, I know that if I were a black citizen right now? I’d be living in absolute fear of them every day of my life. The police have power, legal weapons paired with the right to use them absolutely any time they see fit, and – apparently based on what has happened so far – the blanket protection of our judicial system no matter what they choose to do. They are not all bad people, they are not all racists, they are not all to blame – this is true. But in my opinion, they are the ones who need to make serious, visible, important change, and fast. They are the ones acting out the racism that is still firmly rooted in our country, and acting it out in inexcusable, irreversible ways.

      I’m glad you shared your opinion, CTolbert, and I truly appreciate your candor. I doubt I’ll sway you with my opinion, just as you have not swayed me with yours, but it’s important to me that readers feel free to speak up when they disagree. So thank you for being honest and for standing up.