Comments on Already Pretty: Shopping Ban Update ... Sort of ...

Oh, Sal - thank you so much for your honesty. You...

2009-07-17T11:29:08.161-05:00

Oh, Sal - thank you so much for your honesty. You helped me more than you will ever know!

And don't ever feel like you have to justify yourself or your decisions to ANYBODY. You don't.

example to who is the question. You did it for you...

2009-07-14T14:04:51.966-05:00

example to who is the question. You did it for yourself and you were clear about it. People get weird when they look to someone and put them in some sort of category and if they don't always live up to the preconceived idea they have for you they lash out. Its so weird what the anonymity of a computer will do to people. Sal what matters is what you and the husband thought the rest. Its just icing. Some of it that nasty icing no one likes but you know.

You put your story out there in hopes it helps some not to hear people talk shit. bah. Hey people. BE NICE or I will tell your mom!

Oh man I am really sorry to hear that you got nega...

2009-07-14T11:39:27.885-05:00

Oh man I am really sorry to hear that you got negative comments about the ban. I found it so inspiring that I did my very own ban for 3 months and I'm about to do it again. It puts needs and wants into perspective and really helped me to get a grip on my finances. Of course, then I fell of the wagon but I'm planning to jump right back on it.

I love your blog. Don't let mean people judge you like that. :( I will never understand why people have to get all judgemental and hateful about something that is a personal choice. You're doing us a favor by writing about your own struggles, if anything that deserves kindness and celebration.

I'm sorry to hear that some members of your reader...

2009-07-13T08:15:53.015-05:00

I'm sorry to hear that some members of your readership were unnecessarily harsh and cruel. Of course, it will always be true that if you put yourself out there in the universe--much easier a thing to do now than it used to be, what with the internet and all--there will always be people who treat you, your words, and your ideas in a way that you never intended. In some sense, you relinquish ownership of your actions when you air them, and they can be torn up and analyzed and abused by anyone with a computer and a keyboard. It's an ugly truth, but a truth nonetheless.

I hope you won't have more experiences like this, but knowing that it's always a risk can help you grow a thick skin against that kind of thing. Believe me, I know. As an aspiring journalist, I get the things I write and say ripped apart and thrown back in my face all the time.

On a less serious note, big internet hug, and hypothetic ice cream cone. I hope a few mean people won't rob the rest of us of your wonderful insights and candor. Your posts are always inspirational, and you probably will never know how much you've helped me and others learn to love our bodies more.

I came midway through the shopping ban and loved r...

2009-07-13T08:09:51.037-05:00

I came midway through the shopping ban and loved reading about it. A lot of us have a tough time turning off the spending, especially when there are cheap deals. It was great to read about a real person trying to trim down. The mistakes made you human and relate-able.

Thanks for being YOU!
-b-

yikes...I'm so sorry that you had negative feedbac...

2009-07-12T22:41:52.405-05:00

yikes...I'm so sorry that you had negative feedback....it is so great that you shared it at all. and it was your ban, really, so you make the rules...so rude!

I'm astounded that people would say such things to...

2009-07-12T18:27:37.507-05:00

I'm astounded that people would say such things to you on your blog about your ban! That is crazy!

I found your blog several months ago, and since I was doing my own ban I enjoyed reading about how yours was going. I would be so hurt if someone said stuff like that to me. Screw 'em!

Anyway, outrage aside, I love your blog and you just keep on writing about whatever you damn well please. You are accountable to no one but yourself, Sal.

As a research psychology grad student, I've had to...

2009-07-12T17:29:09.573-05:00

As a research psychology grad student, I've had to study why people act like jerks when they perceive that they have some degree of anonymity. (Did you know that there's a positive correlation between the darkness of window tinting in cars and the number of hostile acts by their drivers? The darker the tinting, the more aggressive and hostile the driver.) The answer isn't pretty, but it's not unique.

I have to say, your ban experiences were incredibly helpful to me. I struggle with budgeting, as I think most people do, regardless of where their money goes or how much of it there is. At the time I started reading about your ban, I was just beginning to deal with student loans. I did undergrad without them, but there was no other way to finance my graduate degree. It was a peculiar situation to me; I'd always had a rigid monthly budget before, and suddenly having thousands of dollars sitting in my bank account was wreaking havoc on my budgeting. I was screwing up left and right, quite a lot of it on shoes.

When I read about your ban, I thought, Of course. That makes so much sense. Having a goal to shoot for, even if we don't always hit it, makes us better shoppers; it makes us more thoughtful and aware, and it makes us seriously consider whether the reward is worth the money. I did a less strict version of your ban, got my spending under control, and finished the year with about a third of my loan money still in my bank account--not bad, considering tuition. It's allowed me to leave the summer job from hell, so there's a very direct connection between getting my spending under control back in November and December and the quality of my life now.

Nobody's perfect. Even Michael Pollan, who writes best sellers about our food choices and what they do to us, said on national television that he sometimes buys sweet cereals for his kids--the same kind of food he advises us to avoid. He didn't make any bones about it; he said, essentially, "Pick your battles."

And if you had stuck perfectly to the ban, I think that actually would have been bad for me, in two ways: firstly, I would have wondered whether you were telling the whole truth. Secondly, I would have felt far worse about my own difficulties with the ban. It wasn't easy for me. I'm not great with self-control, especially when it comes to shoes, which are so beautiful and so easy to obtain. I did a number of slightly shady deals with myself, but in the end, I'd worked most of them out.

I also understand the urge not to talk about something painful. I proposed my thesis about a month ago and I haven't been able to make myself look at the committee's comments on it in depth yet--and they're smart people who like me and said helpful things, not random jerks. So, take your time, and thank you for having the courage to be public about your decisions. You helped me. That's got to be worth something.

You don't owe anyone anything. I read your blog fo...

2009-07-12T14:17:45.497-05:00

You don't owe anyone anything.
I read your blog for entertainment, not judgement. I think you are intelligent, witty and kind and have encouraged my friends and family to read your blog for the wonderful insights and help you offer. Ignore the haters. As a friend of mine says when I am complaining about dealing with a difficult person, "you just have an issue, but someone else has a subscription with them!"

Aw Sal, it really chaps my hide to hear about the ...

2009-07-12T10:50:50.701-05:00

Aw Sal, it really chaps my hide to hear about the negative comments. Your ban posts were GREAT -- I can't believe anyone would berate you for being honest about your slip-ups.

As far as being a role model, that is seriously a bunch of crap. For one thing, your blog isn't ABOUT shopping bans, it's about body image. It'd be different if you wrote about how to appreciate and accept your body, and then went off and got all sorts of cosmetic surgery or started taking some awful diet pills. But even then, you are allowed to make your own choices, regardless of whether you have a semi-public persona or not. People need to take responsibility for their own actions; to imply that they're depending on a role model to guide them in their spending choices is immature and just plain idiotic. Sorry to rant, but I'm really steamed at these a**holes.

I for one was very inspired by your journey, and I saw your few lapses as being completely understandable and not that big a deal in the final analysis. I also tried to curb my spending during that time period, and I slipped up plenty, but I sure as hell didn't justify my misbehavior by citing yours as an example.

OK, need to go unclench my fists now....

Ooh, I'm sorry you got the nasty comments. Some pe...

2009-07-12T10:40:03.055-05:00

Ooh, I'm sorry you got the nasty comments. Some people have nothing better to do. Do you need me to go beat their asses?

I'm sorry some people were unkind to you because y...

2009-07-12T09:40:23.903-05:00

I'm sorry some people were unkind to you because you were so generous in sharing the ups and downs of you experience with us.

I truly enjoyed all your posts during your ban, because they were joyful, not anxious or fear-filled.

I suspect that the mean comments are from people who resent joy and feel a need to try to drag other people down to their level of anxiety and fear. Their projections of judgment on you are a symptom of their own self-judgment. Must be sad to be them.

Some people juts don't think before they hit the "...

2009-07-12T07:07:09.782-05:00

Some people juts don't think before they hit the "publish" button. And I haven't mentioned it before, but I've long admired you for your strict comment policy. I'm sure some may argue that it's too controlling, but I sure don't feel that way. Instead, I feel you are protecting us, your readers, from hurtful people. So, keep ignoring those insensitive, ignorant, malicious comments. It's the right thing to do.
And whatever you decide to do about publishing more ban info, it's your call only. I'm sure gonna enjoy reading it, but I have no business whatsoever pushing you to share more.
Stay positive, kisses and hugs!

A shopping bad is difficult. Thank you for being ...

2009-07-12T04:31:39.171-05:00

A shopping bad is difficult. Thank you for being honest. You have inspired me to much needed self reflection. I enjoy your blog!

Sorry that people are so negative - we all have sl...

2009-07-12T02:24:07.838-05:00

Sorry that people are so negative - we all have slip ups, and no one is perfect - could get all biblical and talk about casting the first stone here...

I enjoyed reading about your ban - and admiring how well you did - I sometimes think about these things then just don't - some crazy deprivation thing comes over me and makes me want to shop more.

I am sorry you got jundjemental comments... I whis...

2009-07-12T02:02:21.362-05:00

I am sorry you got jundjemental comments... I whish you to keep doing what you want to do for yourself only, and not feel intimidated by stupid comments! Keep up the good work, Sal!

You honesty about your missteps was why I kept on ...

2009-07-12T00:44:09.628-05:00

You honesty about your missteps was why I kept on reading your blog.
It takes a lot more courage and strength to admit missteps than to keep silent about them. And frankly, I wouldn't have believed you at all if you had managed to get through the ban without them - especially at the end.

Hold on to the honesty toward yourself!

Ugh I am so sorry you had to experience this. You ...

2009-07-11T23:21:19.064-05:00

Ugh I am so sorry you had to experience this. You made a personal choice and CHOSE to share it with us, and who the heck is anyone to judge that? I know you inspire so many on a daily basis, so don't let this get you down too much. It's hard though I know to open yourself up and then get such baseless negativity thrown back.

I admire you for handling it with such grace.
XOXO, Liz

why IS it always so hard to get those few mean thi...

2009-07-11T23:05:03.153-05:00

why IS it always so hard to get those few mean things out of our heads, no matter how many other nice things are said? i thought this post was especially articulate, strong, and expressive. grrr to those negative nancies!

I am stunned. People actually set nasty comments a...

2009-07-11T22:36:16.942-05:00

I am stunned. People actually set nasty comments about a perfect strangers shopping ban..???...gotta love the anon internet for random judgmental a holes. Sorry, but whatever gave people the idea that they were being asked to pass judgment on ANYTHING?

I loved the ban; the coverage and splurges etc...I don't understand why they would have any issues with it at all.

Strange.

That is INSANE. I can't believe people would actua...

2009-07-11T21:38:40.378-05:00

That is INSANE. I can't believe people would actually care enough to get angry and mean over some stranger on the internet's spending habits. It blows my mind, it's just so sad.

People like that piss me off. Can I hurt them for ...

2009-07-11T20:07:20.733-05:00

People like that piss me off. Can I hurt them for you? My rates are quite reasonable. :P

Wow, I'm really moved by the outpouring of support...

2009-07-11T18:59:51.091-05:00

Wow, I'm really moved by the outpouring of support. THANK YOU, sweeties! Thanks to all, of course, but especially to the lurkers who popped out today to say, "hey." I'm glad to know you're out there, and that you understand why I didn't make it through 6 months with no snarl-ups. Those negative comments weren't the majority, but they sure stuck with me, ya know? Anyways, thanks for your wonderful support.

Yeah, I found the ban posts really interesting, to...

2009-07-11T17:36:20.077-05:00

Yeah, I found the ban posts really interesting, too. I was going to say something in the suggestion box, but I couldn't think of what to say . . . go on ANOTHER ban, Sal, it was fascinating . . . ?

People who are 'anti' are FREE TO LEAVE. They don't have to read your blog - ignore them. Ignore them HARD.

Aw, Sal, I'm really sorry. People can be so nasty...

2009-07-11T17:17:47.306-05:00

Aw, Sal, I'm really sorry. People can be so nasty on the internet. Just wanted to say that I for one really enjoyed reading about the ban and found it very helpful. I hope you'll remember that for every one stupid person who makes a mean comment there are a dozen of us benevolent lurkers who are rooting for you and finding value in your writing.