reader requests

Reader Request: Layered Warm Weather Looks

by Sal on May 17, 2012 · 20 comments

Reader Pamela e-mailed me this question:

I’m fairly successful at putting together composed outfits in the fall and winter, when I can utilize several layers. In the warmer months, (and I live in Tennessee, so the warmer months make up the majority of my year), I have much more trouble. I’d love some advice on how to utilize layers in the warmer months. What sort of layers can I use? Should I be incorporating light scarves and vests, or just layering short sleeve pieces? What basic pieces should I have?

A while back, I offered up some options for covered-up warm weather looks, but Pamela is looking for more general guidance on summer layering. And I’ll admit that I, too, have a tougher time crafting fun and interesting outfits in the blazing heat when layering becomes uncomfortable. In fact, if it gets hot enough, I look like this:

When the Minnesota summer gets humid, sticky, and unbearably hot, it’s a sleeveless dress and sandals. Period. Anything more makes me an unbearable grouch. But here are a few ideas for days that fall somewhere between “pleasantly warm” and “infuriatingly hot,” when layers are a possibility.

Layer your skirts

A few summers back, I thrifted up a whole mess of printed, silky, knee-length skirts specifically for layering. It won’t always work, but allowing a fun print to peek out at a dress or skirt hemline is a great way to add interest to a summer outfit without adding too much bulk.

Consider cropped cardigans

Long cardigans hold virtually no appeal in hot weather, and sometimes traditional ones seem equally unsavory. But cropped cardigans and boleros can add interest to a summery frock without bogging you down. This short-sleeved version is ideal for truly hot weather, but 3/4 and long sleeves are typically bearable in all but the hottest weather.

Try wraps and ponchos

A more daring option, to be sure, but worth exploring. Especially if you’re desperate for an option other than tee + shorts + sandals. Lightweight wraps can be draped and tied in many ways that add interest to your upper torso, and ponchos can be worn over spaghetti strap tank tops and no one will be the wiser. (If you go the poncho route, steer clear of heavy, tasseled wool, of course.)

Play with printed scarves

This was a day when it was so hot and humid, the camera lens refused to remain fog-free for more than a few moments. So it was sleeveless dress and sandals … though I grudgingly added a long, lightweight, PRINTED scarf. I believe that printed scarves are ideal for summer wear since so many of us rely on solids for our actual clothing, and a vibrant print goes a long way toward spicing up an otherwise plain ensemble.

Count accessories as layers

Sometimes adding more cloth to an outfit tips it out of balance. Other times it’s too darned hot. So consider counting your accessories as layers. A necklace, belt, and bangles can add all the additional interest necessary to elevate a simple summer outfit. Don’t kill yourself over layering if you just can’t hack it.

How do you incorporate layers during the warm months of the year?

{ 20 comments }

Reader Request: Employing Underthings

by Sal on May 11, 2012 · 92 comments

Kenzie dropped this one into the suggestion box:

can you do a post on underwear? like the right kind of bras and panties to help avoid lumps, bumps, and lines on different outfit types, as well as employing slips and camisoles when necessary.

Whew. This one is a toughie for me. I defer to K-Line on all things bra, and must refer you to her amazing guest post on bra fittings to get started. I won’t claim to be an expert at underthings, and know from experience that folks get VERY TOUCHY when this topic is discussed. So here’s the requisite boatload of caveats: No two bodies are alike, so no two women will require the same undergarments for the same purposes. I’ll tell you what I know has worked for my clients and worked for me. I trust you to use your judgment. And I trust you to take what applies to you, discard the rest, and assume positive intent.

All righty then. Let’s dig in.

What I know about bras

I know that what looks adorable on the rack may look atrocious under a tight tee shirt. I know that small breasts sometimes do better in full coverage cups. I know that absolutely NO ONE agrees upon how to measure for a bra, but that I’ve never been able to puzzle out any of the DIY instructions and have far better luck getting help from department store employees. Bras are tough. They just are. I don’t know a single woman who can sail into her local Vicky’s Secret and buy a new brassiere without trying it on. And probably some agonizing.

In terms of universals? There aren’t any. But here are some personal observations that might help:

“Back fat” is a term that was created by people who market and sell stuff. Bras dig. I’ve seen professional athletes with less than 5% body fat whose bras dig into their backs. Try not to get too wound up about it.

That said, remember that a bra with a wide band is less likely to subdivide you than a bra with a narrow band. (Assuming you are slightly less squishy a bit further down your torso.) This is why longline bras were the norm for ages – less digging.

Try a variety of cup styles to see what works. Try them while wearing a fitted tee shirt, the ultimate tester of a bra’s prowess. I wore demi cups for AGES until the good folks at Bali put me into one of their One Smooth U Lift Bras (pictured above), and blew my mind. I need a padded bra for nipple-related reasons, but the demi cups jutted out from my bust. This full coverage bra has a profile that sits closer to my frame. No more visible bra lines! Moral: If you can find more than one style in your size, try as many as you can.

If you’re going to invest big bucks, do it on a bra that fits you beautifully – even under a single, tight layer of clothing – in a color that matches your skin tone. If you ever wear white, you’ll need it. Pretty is nice, nude is necessary.

Strapless and convertible bras often fit differently than standard bras. Get professional help, if you can. (I own neither. I simply tuck my straps into my cups. The joys of being a small-busted gal who wears padding!)

In terms of different bras for different outfits? I don’t know, friends, I feel like the aforementioned fabulously fitting nude bra should cover most of your bases. You can employ various other underthings to deal with potential issues.

What I know about panties

What I know about panties makes me feel old. Since I have a list of reproductive issues that would turn your head around, I am forced to stick to Cotton Hi-Cuts. And every gynecologist I’ve ever seen has reinforced the idea that 100% cotton is best, best, best for your health. So.

100% cotton panties are best for vaginal health. Seductive they ain’t, but if you get yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or any other recurring infection or pain-related issue, they’re the way. The only way. I know that has nothing to do with fitting/flattery, but allow me a brief stint on the soapbox.

Thongs work for many people in terms of seamlessness, but there are two caveats. A properly fitting thong doesn’t dig into you. If it digs into your hips, you’ve just negated any assumed pantyline invisibility. Also thongs aren’t good for anyone yeast-prone, so be aware.

Unless you are wearing thin or tight pants, a thin or tight dress, or a thin or tight skirt, you can wear just about any style of properly fitting panty and no one will know. Full and a-line skirts are especially forgiving, so bring on the briefs!

I got into a minor scuffle with two lingerie experts over panty fitting once. One maintained that I should be wearing size medium panties because, well, I’m relatively medium-sized. The other agreed with ME, and I maintain that I should wear panties that sit flat and quiet against my hips and rear end without pinching or subdividing me. In most cases that’s a size extra-large. I’m not saying that everyone should size up three full sizes, just sharing my own experience and preference. Undies that dig are uncomfortable, and they show through your clothes. That is all.

If you’ve got on tights or shape wear, there’s nothing wrong with going commando. (Assuming that doing so won’t make you uncomfortable/squeamish.)

If, like most women, you get bloated over the course of the month, keep a few styles and sizes of panties on-hand. What sits flat on the 5th may squeeze your parts by the 28th.

As is the case with bras, it will benefit you to own at least one pair of perfectly fitting panties that match your skin tone. Sometimes pants are white, sometimes skirts are sheer. If all your panties are leopard print, that may become a problem.

What I know about slips and pettipants

I know that an unlined skirt and pair of tights will fight each other without a slip to keep the peace. I know that some decoratively edged slips show through thin or tight dresses. I know that slips can cause their own sets of fitting woes. More specifically:

Buy a slip that is comfortable around your waist. Many slips have teeny tiny elastic waistbands that love to dig into your midsection. I prefer versions with flat, wide, stretch lace waistbands – like this one - which may migrate around me a bit but do NOT dig.

If your thighs rub against each other and that irritates you, try pettipants instead of a slip. Actually, even if you’re not fussed about thigh chafing, consider pettipants. They’re pretty amazing. And offer a bit more protection should you saunter across a breezy subway grate, Marilyn-style.

I have never, ever successfully deployed a full slip. I know they must be good for something – probably some sort of complex dress – but eesh, they just never work for me. I tend to wear fitted stuff up top and volume on the bottom with a cinched waist, so full slips just get wadded up and mangled under all that.

I don’t believe that slips are necessary any time skirts or dresses are worn. Obviously, a lined skirt or dress doesn’t need an additional layer shoved under there, but even unlined skirts don’t always require a slip. If I’m cold, if I’m wearing tights, or if I just feel I need the extra coverage, that’s one thing. But so long as I’m not wearing a flippy full skirt and going panty-free (which has literally never happened ever), I skip the slip.

What I know about shape wear

Holy moly, you wanna talk hot topic? I know that shape wear is controversial, and that many folks feel it’s a tool of oppression. I know that I waffle on it myself. I know that I own a couple of pieces and they’re helpful at times. I know that for me, they are NOT for every day wear. A few more thoughts:

I honestly don’t see the point of anything less than a high-waisted, mid-thigh piece like the one shown above. (Which I own and recommend.) I know there must be some body types out there who can benefit from simple shape wear briefs or who only want a cami, but I figure if I’m going to bother pouring myself into this kind of thing, I might as well smooth out everything from bust to legs.

Actually, since many women would rather include the portion of the back where their bra band rests, this one-piece is a great idea. HOWEVER, it will only work if you have a statistically proportionate torso. And you may not know that until you try it on. Frustrating.

Shape wear should not be so horrifyingly uncomfortable that you are in misery while wearing it. Yes, it will feel snug and yes, it should offer compression. But if you can’t breathe, feel faint, or experience any other severe discomfort, you are wearing the wrong size. Do not buy shape wear a size smaller than you should wear in hopes of making yourself appear smaller. You’ll just be miserable and possibly make yourself ill.

Shape wear will not make you look a size smaller. I don’t care what anyone says. It will smooth you out, and firm you up and is wonderful for outfits where you might worry about The Jiggle. It will not help you fit into a dress that is too small, and it will not compress you into looking 10 pounds lighter.

What I know about camisoles

I know that I don’t think all camisoles should be shape wear, although most of them seem to be. I know that the only kind I’ve found useful are slippery nylon blends. Furthermore:

A slippery camisole that matches your skin tone is a very useful piece to have. It can make many sheer garments appear more opaque, and can add warmth on cold days.

If you are experiencing some minor bra digging and don’t feel like dealing with shape wear, sometimes a fitted cami can even things out a bit. This will only work if your outer layer isn’t skin-tight.

Unless they’re going to show, I’ve never seen the point of lacy or embellished camis. That stuff just makes for lumps and bumps under your clothing. But then, I’m an old stick in the mud.

What I know about specialty lingerie

Zilch. Zippo. Nada. I’ve never worn a longline, don’t own a garter belt, and all my panties have crotches. Cant’ be of much help here, I’m afraid.

DAMN that got long. Hopefully I covered most of the bases and dispensed some helpful – or, at least, amusing – information about my own views on and experiences with underthings. Again, I do my utmost to be all-inclusive, all-encompassing, and all-loving because I want everyone who reads this blog to feel welcome and respected and important and gorgeous and worthy. If you felt omitted from this post, it was not an intentional, malicious, or judgmental exclusion. I am human. I try to consider all the angles, but I can’t always see them.

Related post: The Perils of Undergarments

So, what are your key undergarments? Views on how they should fit? Which pieces do you use for which occasions? Or do you do the same set regardless of your outfit? Any resources or wisdom to share?

Top image courtesy Dianamite420. And yes, it’s meant to be amusing.

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

{ 92 comments }

Reader Request: Thrifted Staples

by Sal on May 8, 2012 · 28 comments

Lisa requested a post on my most-worn thrifted items and examples of how they’ve been remixed. How could I say no to THAT one? I scoured the archives looking for my most-worn, bought-used garments, and here are the winners:

MVP: Olive military blazer!

This little jacket has been through several years with me and gets year-round wear. It has a tendency to look a bit rumpled and sometimes I have to fight to keep those pocket flaps down, but the nipped-in waist and versatile vibe have made it a longtime favorite. I believe I paid about $5 for this jacket.

Runner up: Striped boat neck!

This sucker has gotten far more than these six wears since its purchase, believe me. I’m fascinated to see, though, that for blog purposes I have paired it with full skirts three times and maxis twice. Huh. This shirt cost me about $4.

Honorable mention: Chambray shirt!

This shirt has certainly been worn and styled in a wide variety of ways. Something about its Western roots make me want to pair it with boots, it seems. I paid about $2 for this shirt.

Honorable mention: Cropped denim jacket!

Hmmm, come to think of it, this was an eBay purchase. It was used when I bought it and only set me back $9.99, but I suppose it wasn’t technically “thrifted.” Is that cheating? Do you consider bought-used eBay items to be “thrifted”?

The dark horse: Pink tulle skirt!

OK, this skirt isn’t a staple. No way, no how. Every other garment featured here gets fairly regular wear both on and off the blog. But I was dumbfounded to discover that this skirt had been photographed five times in the past year and a half since its purchase. I can honestly say that I expected it to get trotted out less than once per year. I paid $18 for it. Pricey for thrift, but well worth it.

A few other items that deserve a tip of the hat include the black boat neck tee that I wore until it had several holes in it that could no longer be mended (it’s since been replaced by two bought-new black boat necks), the maroon scoopneck sweater that I thrifted this fall and must’ve worn far more times than I photographed, and the pleated khaki skirt that I bought on a whim and still adore three years later. Aside from the pink skirt, all of these thrifted wardrobe staples are pretty basic: Lots of denim, simple shapes, classic cuts, versatile colors. Makes sense as most frequently worn garments become favorites due to versatility.

Are any of YOUR wardrobe staples thrifted? What are they?

{ 28 comments }

Reader Request: Favorite Fibers

by Sal on May 1, 2012 · 46 comments

Becky dropped this into the Suggestion Box:

I found your discussion of ponte very useful and I’m wondering what other fibers you seek out and/or avoid. For example, I’ve noticed that many brands label certain rayon blends as machine washable but said garments quickly fade and pill, even on the delicate cycle. I’ve learned the hard way to avoid buying them. On the other hand, I’ve noticed that some (usually natural) fibers/fabrics that are labeled “dry clean only” actually hold up well to machine washing on the delicate cycle (and air drying). … Do you have any fiber-related rules of thumb that you follow when selecting clothes?

Fibers are surprisingly personal, I’ve found. With sensitivities, allergies, budgetary concerns, and upkeep all playing into fiber choices, we’ve all got our own favorites and nemeses. My favorite fibers depend heavily on which area of my body I’m clothing, so I’ll break it down for yas:

For scarves

Silk: As I’ve said approximately 23 trillion times, silk is a magical fiber that will keep you warm in winter and cool in summer. People tell me it comes from silkworms, but I’m inclined to believe that it comes from A MAGICAL FAIRYLAND. My house is old and drafty, but even on finger-freezingly cold days, winding a silk scarf around my neck warms me instantly. Silk is my ideal scarf fiber because it is a 4-season option: Silk scarves in summer feel weightless and breezy, look effortless and chic.

Cashmere: I’m cold most of the time, but I DO refrain from wearing my cashmere scarves in August. However, this fiber is second only to silk in warming properties and just as soft. It’s got more loft, too, if you’d prefer something weighty or bulky for proportional reasons. I vastly prefer sweater-knit cashmere scarves, as they feel softer against the skin and trap body heat more effectively.

For tops

Cotton: I sweat constantly and hate dry cleaning. Therefore flattering, versatile cotton tops are my Holy Top Grails. I am most comfortable in cotton because I can wear it without worry: If I pit out my top, it’ll just get thrown into the laundry. If I spill something on it, I can glob some Palmolive onto it, wait a few days, and wash. Cotton with a hit of spandex can look a bit more sleek and polished than 100%, so blends work, too.

Merino wool: This fiber comes in a distant second. Very distant, in fact. But if I’m considering a non-cotton option, I gravitate toward the graceful drape and soft knit of Merino in cardigans and pullovers alike. It’s definitely warm, but in thinner weaves can work year-round, especially if you work in Icebox Office conditions during the summer.

For pants

Stretch twill: Every office job I ever held had a “business casual” dress code, so I never had to invest in lined wool or drapey crepe dress pants. And that means I’ve been faithful to stretch twill since my early twenties. It’s just polished enough to work in most office environments, but just casual enough to transition beautifully to weekend wear.

Ponte: Well, I’ve got a whole love letter to ponte written right here! At this point in my style evolution, the majority of my pants are slim-fitting, and my ponte pairs are stretchy and comfortable yet still look more structured and polished than regular leggings.

For skirts

Wool blends: My favorite skirt in the whole wide world is a wool blend Banana Republic full skirt, and I wear it year-round. Skirts are, by nature, extremely well ventilated so wool can be done in all but the hottest, most humid weather. And I’ve found that smooth-knit wool blends are durable, heavy, relatively wrinkle resistant, and work well in both formal and casual contexts. Of course “smooth-knit” is essential: Thick, fluffy wool weaves will look a bit odd on a hot July weekend.

Stretch twill: Again, it’s just a great option for bottoms! Although I seek out fabulous wool skirts, I end up buying more stretch twill skirts since they are more popular and widely available. I’ve got full, pencil, and A-line versions that all remain in rotation throughout the year.

For dresses

Polyester: Oh, I know. But I’m just being honest. Polyester/spandex blends are comfortable, drape beautifully, refuse to wrinkle even at gunpoint, and are eternally washable. Vintage polyester seems to have more stink-retaining properties than the stuff you’ll find on the racks at Target.

Cotton blends: Straight-up cotton dresses seldom work for me. Voile is such a lovely idea, but in practice it wads, wrinkles, and attracts absolutely appalling amounts of lint. Cotton blends, however, seem to be less linty. Most of my dresses are cotton/spandex blends, but cotton mixes well with silk, linen, and many other fibers, too. And so long as it remains both absorbent and washable, it’s A-OK by me.

Rayon: Most of my twirly, floaty dresses are crafted from rayon, which has some of the fluidity of silk but is (generally) machine washable. Rayon is generally pretty thin, so this group of dresses is worn in warm weather.

Fibers that I avoid

Linen: Unless it’s a linen KNIT, I avoid this fiber altogether. I am too tightly wound to deal with the rumpled look that goes hand in hand with linen. It feels great on my body, but the wrinkling drives me batso.

Silk tops: Unless it’s a silk KNIT, I avoid buying and wearing silk tops. They’ve got the warm in winter/cool in summer thing going on, sure, but they also excel at showing pit stains. I’d feel more self-conscious in a long-sleeved silk blouse than I would in a cotton blend tube top. No lie.

Straight-up wool: I’ve got a few garments, including a sweaterdress purchased in Iceland, and they are marvelously warm. They are also so unbearably itchy that I can hardly sit still. I stick to softer blends and weaves.

Neoprene and similar: I know this may seem a bit “out there,” but scuba-inspired fashion is trending for spring. I kid you not. I’ve ordered a few items from Athleta that turned out to have that spongy, neoprene feeling and they just make my skin crawl.

Becky also had some questions about care instructions, and I am very loathe to generalize since disobeying those cryptic little symbols on the garment tag can lead to disaster. So here’s what I’ll say: Always follow garment care instructions if you have any doubts at all, if a garment is delicate or valuable, or if you cannot risk any shape shifting or damage whatsoever. Just do what the tag says and rest easy.

If you’re willing to experiment a bit and live with potentially ruinous results, the basic rule of thumb is that natural fibers can be hand-washed in cold water and hung/laid flat to dry. This treatment is unlikely to destroy anything cotton, linen, wool, cashmere, silk, rayon, or other plant- or animal-derived material. Most polyester is washable, too, despite care instructions UNLESS it is blended with something exotic, has loads of embellishment, or any other mitigating factors.

And that is my extremely wussy advice on garment care instruction rebellion.

NOW. Let’s talk about your preferences. Get yourself over to the comments and tell us which fiber is your favorite for:

Scarves
Tops
Pants
Skirts
Dresses

And while you’re at it, share any tips you’ve got for deciphering/ignoring/judging garment care instructions. What are your rules of thumb?

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

{ 46 comments }

Reader Request: Styling Stripes

by Sal on April 24, 2012 · 16 comments

Lisa popped a question about styling stripes in unusual ways into the Suggestion Box, and as a bona-fide stripe addict, I’m thrilled to tackle it!

With florals

Although I’m still a pattern-mixing newbie, the pairing I feel most comfortable wearing is definitely stripes and florals. Make sure that both patterns include a common, dominant color so the mix appears cohesive. (In this case, both contain white.) If possible add another, solid item that draws out a color from one pattern or another. (In this case, the moto jacket!)

As outer layers

The classic is a simple, boat necked, Breton top. But stripes are showing up in cardigans, coats, blazers, and other outer layers and can make fabulous toppers. If you fear the potential figure-widening properties of horizontal stripes – which are grossly exaggerated, in my opinion – picking a striped top layer can allow you to cinch or otherwise accentuate a slimmer-fitting inner layer.

With serious jewelry

If pattern mixes feel too overwhelming but you’d like to try something bolder than a striped top and solid cardigan, try a big, chunky necklace or two. You can pick up a color within the striped pattern or stick to clear stones and classic metals, or go even bolder with a contrasting color.

With tough accents

Stripes are typically considered a preppy staple, but they’re sliding quickly into neutral territory which means that they can play nicely off of other style genres. Try some tough boots, a motorcycle jacket, or big bold chain necklaces with your stripes.

In accessories

If striped garments feel too bold, consider accessories. OK, I know that striped tights are still pretty durned bold, but there are plenty of other options: Scarves, hats, socks, even handbags can bring some stripy goodness into your life!

What’s your favorite way to wear stripes? Do you employ any of these techniques yourself? Others to suggest?

{ 16 comments }

Reader Request: Managing Pets as a Stylish Woman

by Sal on April 16, 2012 · 46 comments

Sarah dropped this into the Suggestion Box:

I’ve seen snippets of your cat (cats?) in your photos, and I’d like to see a post discussing fashion tips in regards to having pets, like how to handle pet hair on your dressy (or even everyday) items, what problems pets pose to one’s wardrobe (my cats love to paw at my legs to get my attention, and if I’m wearing flimsy tights, there goes the pair!), that sort of thing. Many a person dressed to leave the house gets their clothes slobbered on, covered in cat hair at the last minute, or finds pet dander on something your cat managed to sleep on. Any suggestions to help combat these common problems would be appreciated, especially in terms of having to dash out of the house for work or some other time-sensitive event.

Ahhh yes, the question of pets. My adorable cats are shedding machines, ever eager to sit in my lap when I’m wearing delicate duds, and fascinated by ANYTHING that dangles. They’ve ruined a few items – Rowan Kitty once licked a huge hole in diaphanous mohair sweater and then gave me the, “What? You love me,” face. But there’s no way in hell I’m getting rid of them, so here are a few of my work-arounds.

Roll with it

Let’s start with the obvious: Buy a lint roller for your home, one for your car, one for your office. Pet hair is the most common and obvious sign of pet ownership, and much of it can be dealt with by swiping a lint roller across your personage. Travel sizes are available, so you might even consider one for your handbag, briefcase, or bookbag. But naturally, in order for the lint roller to work you’ve got to …

Be vigilant

I might suck at checking my rear view and I frequently leave the house before dealing with concealer and blush, but I seldom miss a fine coat of cat hairs clinging to my sweater. Why? Because a hair check is something I’ve trained myself to do every time I prepare to go outside. I also help my husband out, since his cat hair standards are a bit lower than my own. Find a way to remain vigilant so you don’t have to employ your office lint roller quite as often.

Consider barrier methods

I must give credit where credit is due: YEARS ago, Husband Mike realized that we were spending more time and energy laundering our blankets and sheets than was strictly necessary. So we started putting a spare flat sheet on top of our comforter, and dubbed it The Filth Sheet. The Filth Sheet can be washed whenever, the comforter beneath stays relatively filth-free. (Our cats do burrow, but they tend to go into the actual bed instead of a single layer down, for whatever reason.) We use a Filth Sheet on our sofa as well, and as a self-employed gal who works at home, I now employ a Filth Pillowcase when either cat demands lap time. It’s a king-sized pillowcase purchased for this very reason and I just place it in my lap, and plop the cat on top. Saves tights, skirts, and everything beneath from fur AND claws.

Utilize durable lower levels

If you’ve got a pawsy pooch or feline, or any animal at all that cannot resist giving your legs some lovin’, make sure that you do pants, tall boots, maxi skirts, and other durable goods on your lower body as often as possible. When I’m visiting my parents and their cute but rambunctious dog, I pack jeans, boots, ponte pants, and leggings. If it’s summer, I’ll do lightweight boots and shorts or skirts. Never tights, never silk, never anything that has a loose weave.

And that’s great and it works for me, but what if you live with a pet that can’t resist sinking its claws into your calves AND you enjoy wearing tights and pumps? Honestly, the only work-arounds that I can think of is to wear pants or jeans over your tights until you get out of the house, or enlist the help of someone else to distract the pet as you exit. Wearing delicate legwear – or really, delicate anything – when you’re planning to be in the house with the pet for long periods of time is probably a bad play.

Distract and dash

Last-ditch option? Before you put on your delicates, grab a toy. Get dressed, enter the pet-occupied room, pitch the toy, and dash out of the house. Hey, I said it was last-ditch! But it does work for most common house pets.

A final note: It can be absolutely infuriating when a pet swipes you and ruins a beloved or expensive blouse, dress, or pair of tights. But try to remember that our pets adore us. I mean, they adore us in a way that few other living beings ever will. They bear us and our wardrobes no ill will, and if they had any money at all they’d spring for replacement garments. Hug, forgive, and move on.

How do YOU deal with your pets as a stylish woman? Any other tips or tricks to share?

{ 46 comments }

Reader Request: Child-inspired Elements

by Sal on April 12, 2012 · 45 comments

Lovely reader Anat sent this question via e-mail:

What is your take on integrating child-inspired elements in outfits? A few examples I thought of: Knee high socks with shoes such as Oxfords. White opaque tights Childlike bows and frills Pigtails (even a toned down version such as here) Personally I kind of like knee high socks and pigtails, not so much the other elements, but I would probably only ever wear them in a very casual setting – definitely not for work. I am aware of the problematic sexual innuendos which certain people may associate with grown women using any of these elements. So what do you think?

Oooh, this is a toughie. Aside from the bows and frills, I’ve sported everything on Anat’s list within the past 10 years, so I can understand the appeal. But I’m also aware of the sexual implications of grown women dressing in garments and styles that evoke childhood.

Overall, I stand by my previous post on age-appropriate dressing: How a woman looks, feels, and behaves may make her seem decades older or younger than the date on her birth certificate. And although some experts believe that chronological age should shape certain aspects of life, I’m willing to assert that internal age is considerably more important and influential. Especially when it comes to matters of style. There is nothing wrong with wearing and loving items that the general public has deemed “too young” for you, especially if you have the confidence to do so.

However, dressing in truly childlike attire carries risks. Observers may think you’ve chosen to highlight the difference between your chronological and internal ages. Or chosen to ignore your chronological age altogether. It is always unwise to judge someone based solely on appearance, but total strangers will only ever have your exterior and wardrobe choices to go on, and they may jump to several unappealing conclusions if you appear to be a grown woman dressed in kid clothing.

Now, there are ways to make Anat’s examples (and similar items) seem less childlike and more mature. As in all things, it’s about balance. If you’re doing knee-high socks with oxfords, choose a grown-up hairstyle and sophisticated dress. If bows and frills appeal, consider juxtaposing them with tough elements like combat boots, heavy belts, or sculptural jewelry. If you’re doing pigtails, keep them simple and low, as shown above. As elements within a larger context, these things can seem fun, quirky, and cool. Pile multiples into a single look, and you risk overkill.

Finally, as Anat pointed out, many childlike elements won’t be office-appropriate. At least, not until Casual Friday. More creative working environments may have loads of leeway for pigtails and tutu-inspired skirts, so if that’s your situation, take advantage. But a typical office will resist such choices, either socially or through dress code regulations. You might not want to push that envelope, as doing so could trigger professional repercussions.

So that’s where I stand. What are your thoughts on child-inspired elements and garments? Do you love and wear them? Dislike and avoid them? Do you agree that dressing in childlike outfits may cause a perceived rift between chronological and internal age? Can childlike elements be worked into sophisticated outfits, or are they best avoided altogether?

Image source.

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Reader Request: How to Soften Your Look

by Sal on April 9, 2012 · 24 comments

Anne from Modern Mrs. Darcy e-mailed me this request:

This past year I’ve been trying to “soften” up my image: for years I’ve dressed in crisp basics–dark denim, jewel-neck cardis, jackets, white tees. (I just can’t help it–I worked in the legal field for too many years!!) I think the look is pretty but it’s also pretty no-nonsense, and I want to inject some softness and flowy-ness and easy-going-ness (howdya like all those adjectives?) into my appearance. So I’ve been experimenting with long necklaces and wispy bangs and long open cardigans and flowing scarves. I think I’m making progress, but I would love some tips from the pros.

Anne has already hit on some classic techniques for adding softness to your overall look: Flowy jewelry and hair, long layers, and, of course, scarves. So she’s well on her way! But here are a few other ideas that might further her goal of taking the edge off her current style:

Romantic prints

Most prints will actually read a bit softer than solids, but there are definitely some stark abstracts that are incredibly edgy in appearance, so let’s say “romantic” to play it safe! Think florals, small geometrics, watercolors. Anything that gives the same impression as those scarves and long necklaces; That of movement, flowing water, rounded edges.

Low contrast

Black looks amazing with bright, cool colors like hot pink and turquoise, but outfits that contain those shades will have hard breaks and loads of contrast. If you choose colors that have roughly the same value – brightness, dustiness, darkness, etc. – you’ll create outfits that seem naturally softer. Collections of jewel tones, pastels, earth tones, and neutrals worn together look sophisticated and welcoming.

Long, flowy garments

You’ve got flowing down, but how about long? Are you doing waterfall cardigans that hit mid-thigh? Dusters? Jersey-knit maxi skirts? Soft tunics? Very few stark, hard-edged ensembles incorporate long, liquid layers, so throw a few of those into the mix to create visible softness.

Those are my suggestions, aside from the group that Anne is already – very wisely – implementing. What else would you recommend to her? How do you soften your own looks? What garments and accessories are your main tools for taking the hard edge off of outfits?

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