Posts Categorized: psychology

Reader Request: Defending Disinterest in Style

Reminder: It's 100% fine to NOT CARE about fashion + style

Mrs.M in MI asked:

I was recently sent through the intellectual looking glass, and when I was reflecting on it, I thought that I would be interested in hearing what you might have to say. It’s a long story, so here goes…

I recently suggested the book The Thoughtful Dresser, by Linda Grant, to my book club. We did not end up reading it as a group, but one of the more prolific readers read it on her own and she and I discussed it casually.

Her main comment about the book was that the author made her feel bad for NOT caring about what she wore or what she looked like, and NOT spending scads of time and money on her clothes, or thinking about them much at all. READ MORE

Originally posted 2011-08-01 06:17:46.

Reader Request: Self-worth and Outside Input

Reader Christine sent me this question via e-mail, and although it’s not strictly style or body-image related, it hit so close to home for me, I felt I should share our correspondence:

What if someone feels bad about him/herself, not because of body/appearance insecurities, but rather accomplishment/intellectuality insecurities? What would you suggest to help that person back on a path to self love? For example, the university student who can’t forgive herself for her terrible GPA, and since she valued herself based on her intellectuality, now feels as though she has no worth? Or the career woman who has worked incredibly hard to get to where she is and was passed up for that promotion (or worse, demoted) and now feels as though she has no value? READ MORE

Originally posted 2011-09-19 06:10:13.

How to Give Good Compliments


All compliments are good. OK, the backhanded ones suck, but I trust you’re not running around dishing those out.  My impression is that the majority of compliments given and received in this world are earnest and well-intentioned, and I think of them as tiny, self-generated miracles. Never underestimate the transformative power of a compliment, my friends. Just about every time you tell another human being, “Hey! I like you, and I like what you’re doing,” you’re changing that person’s life for the better, even if they don’t yet realize it. Every time you muster up the courage to praise another person, you’re doing the world a service by bolstering that person’s confidence and self-esteem. READ MORE

Originally posted 2011-07-18 06:18:49.