psychology

Reader Request: Insecurity, Jealousy, and Closeness

by Sally on April 22, 2013 · 28 comments

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Reader K e-mailed me with this question:

I’ve always dealt with insecurity issues and some of them go beyond body image into the range of general personality, so I understand that some of this is probably beyond the scope of what you’d write about for the blog. My brother-in-law has a somewhat-long-term girlfriend that makes me feel incredibly intimidated and insecure, but it’s not intentional on her part and the problem lies entirely with me. The fact that it’s my problem and is something I logically know I shouldn’t feel insecure over adds to me feeling frustrated and ashamed of myself, on top of feeling crappy and inadequate as a person. At the start of this year, I decided to work on feeling good about myself so that I can feel better as I go about my life and hopefully have a good relationship with whoever my BIL may marry on down the line. This has manifested itself in a few different ways and directions, one of which is the style angle (and thus, your blog).

My question is this: what does a person do when a source of insecurity/body issues comes from someone closer than celebrities, models, or even people you went to school with? On those occasions where all the positive thinking in the world doesn’t seem to help? Most of the time I’m good, but I still have moments where I feel horrible and can’t seem to shake myself out of it easily. In those moments, thinking positive thoughts about myself doesn’t work, trying to put myself in her shoes (maybe she’s insecure or intimidated by me in some fashion) doesn’t work, wearing a fabulous outfit doesn’t work, and genuine, unsolicited encouragement/compliments from others doesn’t work. Is it one of those cases where it boils down to just trying to keep on keeping on?

A secondary question/observation is that admitting to feeling insecure/jealous of someone else in any way seems to be very frowned-upon. While searching the internet for answers I’ve read different forum posts on this topic, from women feeling insecure of an in-law (usually mother or sister) or sometimes a sister or female cousin. Every time, there would be at least a handful of responses along the lines of: “You’re just jealous and childish and a bad person for feeling that way.” Even if there was no malicious intent stated and the original poster openly acknowledged that they knew feeling insecure/jealous is not a good thing and they wanted to work to fix it. Can there be any meaningful dialogue where these feelings are acknowledged as a legitimate issue for some people, without condoning/endorsing them as a good thing -or- shaming them into being too afraid of judgement to ask for advice to get past it and be happy and confident?

K is dealing with a tough situation. So many fraught emotions, so much stress, and no clear or easy path. I certainly don’t feel like I have a solid, foolproof answer, but here’s what I told her:

Try to remember that if you feel something, it is valid. Just the fact that you’re feeling it makes it so. People get jealous, insecure, and intimidated all the time! ALL THE TIME, I say! It’s completely natural! To shame people for feeling those things doesn’t make them any easier to cope with, and is often just a way for certain advice-givers to make themselves feel superior. I feel jealous myself, and although I try to identify the root of the emotion (which is often related to my own fears and insecurities), I don’t beat myself up for it. Try to give yourself some space and forgiveness around these feelings because loading shame on top of everything else is just going to make it all feel insurmountable.

The idea that has helped me the most when dealing with jealousy and insecurity is this: Often, feeling envious of someone stems from perceiving them to have something you wish you had yourself, or feel they don’t deserve. The fundamental flaw in this logic is that it rests upon the misconception that there is a limited amount of happiness and success in the world. (Or charisma, sex appeal, talent, beauty … any covetable trait.) Without realizing it, we decide that the person in question has it, and that makes it less likely or more difficult for us to get it ourselves. It’s not something most people actively ponder, but it’s at the root of a LOT of jealousy and insecurity. And once you see that and start to move past it, those feelings often loosen. You are an autonomous individual, and your own happiness and success is not contingent upon the actions of anyone but yourself. It’s a lot of responsibility, but it’s also liberating.

I also asked K to consider examining what it is, specifically, about this woman that makes her feel insecure. Does she have something you don’t? Is it something you want? Is it something that has been hard for you to get? Why? Has this always been the case? What can you do to take control of that part of your life? Alternately, does this woman remind you of some other person or relationship from your past? Is it possible that it’s not her so much as what she reminds you of?

Another tactic to consider: My mom once told me that there will be some people in your life who are just “difficult personalities.” And labeling them as such – internally, of course – can be really helpful. It may sound small-minded, but here’s why it’s potentially helpful: You interact with someone, you feel insecure, then you feel cruddy for feeling insecure, then you feel confused, and maybe hopeless. If you enter into your interactions with this person knowing ahead of time that she’s a “difficult personality,” you won’t beat yourself up if your emotions spin out of control. You can just say, “Oh yeah, she’s hard for me to handle. And that’s OK.” You don’t have to change yourself or her, just change how you view the situation and give both of you room to be yourselves.

Finally, if you feel there’s real friction on both sides, you could consider trying to broach the subject with the person causing these difficult feelings. She may be a permanent fixture in your life, so it would help to clear the air. If that’s not gonna happen, you could also consider talking about or even cultivating mutual interests. Do you both like shopping? Love a certain band or author? Or would you consider asking her to join you at an event or for a class? Having something specific in common might make some of the other stuff fall away. You can focus on the places you two overlap, and less on the places where you diverge.

Have any of you ever dealt with a close person causing insecurity and jealousy? How did you deal with it? Would any of these suggestions have worked? Do you feel like there’s a lot of judgment laid upon people who confess to feeling jealous?

Image courtesy Elis W. Alves.

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Shiny, Pretty

by Sally on April 2, 2013 · 24 comments

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I struggle with cardigans. They’re my most versatile year-round outer layer, and they seem to come in a thousand varieties. Cropped, boyfriend, fitted, drapey, v-neck, crew neck … it’s ENDLESS. And different shapes and styles have different applications and work best with certain underlayers. I always seem to be able to justify buying another one. Especially since they are fabulously thriftable little beasties. I will never stop using my cardigans, and may live in an endless cycle of trying new ones and donating or consigning old ones.

But there are several other wardrobe sectors that feel decidedly complete. There is absolutely no reason for me to ever purchase another mid-weight coat. Spring lasts about 10 seconds here in Minneapolis, and fall is even shorter. The rest of the time it’s either very hot or very cold. Unless a mid-weight coat can double as a topper/blazer, I will use it so seldom as to make its purchase decidedly unnecessary. I feel similarly about sandals. I saw the pair pictured above during one of my many side-trips to the mesmerizing land of Pinterest, and had an immediate, “shiny, pretty” reaction. I mean, look at those. They’re stunning. Chunky heel, unique and interesting design features, vaguely futuristic-looking, sexy but walkable, graphic, cool … these sandals are right up my own personal sandal alley. And two or three years ago, “shiny, pretty” might’ve won out. I might’ve found these sandals so irresistible that I’d have snapped them up before really thinking about it. But today? Today I know that I have many pairs of sandals and that they can only be worn for a fairly short window of time. (Unlike closed shoes, which get year-round wear.) I know that white shoes are the enemy of a klutzy gal such as myself, and that shoes with multiple colors are far harder to style. I know that I adore the distinctive shoes I own, but that the classic, simple, timeless ones are the ones that get worn and worn until they need new soles.

I was a late-comer to fashion. I didn’t give a hoot about it for most of my young life, and when I finally did take an interest I was a gainfully employed adult. It felt fun and exciting to indulge in my, “shiny, pretty” urges and nab items that looked and felt unusual or edgy. I think it was important to my understanding of a functional wardrobe and of my own preferences and needs to work through that phase. And although I cave to the occasional item that is far too shiny and pretty to resist, I’m happy to have moved beyond feeling like every gorgeous goodie I see MUST be mine. Those sandals? I’m happy to admire them from afar.

I see many other late-comers with closets full of shiny, pretty items that feel difficult to style and wear. My guess is that, if you’re a woman who has been indifferent to fashion for much of your life, a new interest in clothing and style can feel intoxicating. Realizing that dressing can be fun makes you gravitate toward fun pieces – garments, shoes, and accessories that are eye-catching and expressive and feel fun to wear. This can create an imbalanced closet full of frosting with no cake to support it. Luckily, this can generally be dealt with by adding some plain, classic basics … and some gentle culling. Shiny, pretty things are important to most wardrobes, but they can’t be the only things in there. And it takes time and trial and error to figure out which plain, classic basics will work for your style and your figure and your life.

Have any of you gone through this cycle yourselves? Maybe earlier or later in life? Ever look in your closet and see nothing but shiny, pretty things that don’t work with each other? How did you cope? What do you do when you see something that pushes your own personal “shiny, pretty” button that you know won’t get used enough to justify purchase?

Image courtesy Shopbop.

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

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Gracey on Power Dressing

by Gracey on February 22, 2013 · 18 comments

Today I’m going to talk about power dressing.

I think that a lot of people associate power dressing with the 80s:

Joan Collins as Alexis Carrington

 But, according to Wikipedia, the concept of power dressing was actually popularized in the 1970s by the books Dress for Success and The Women’s Dress for Success Book:

Woman's Dress for Success Cover & Text

Wikipedia goes on to say that “while references to the style apply more typically to women, the look is the same for both sexes: medium-length parted hair (trimmed on the back and sides for men); dark, conservative, usually matching pants and jacket (sometimes a long skirt for women); and bold, colorful “accents”, such as ties, kerchiefs or brooches.”  This look was supposed to convey competency and confidence and therefore, power.

As exciting as that look sounds, I’m not talking about 70s or 80s power dressing today.  Today, I’m talking about knowing what makes you feel confident, and yes, powerful, and how you dress to enhance that.  We all have something that we’re very confident about; something that makes us strut a little bit, even if only in our heads.  These aren’t necessarily the things everyone else likes about us; they are the things we like most about ourselves.  These are our power features.

For some women, this feature might be their sexuality, for others, their intelligence and for still others, their hair, a flat stomach, long lashes or even wealth.  And when you dress to play up your power feature, I call that power dressing.

Personally, I consider my power features to be my height/size, my strength and my personality.  I’m tall and I’m strong, but I’m also fun.  When I power dress, my outfit reflects all of these things in single outfit.  Like this one:

Power Dressed Gracey

In this look, I played up my height with heeled boots and played up my broad shoulders with faux-epaulets created by the blouse.  The wide, studded belt also shows off my strong shape.  But, the look is fun too, lightened by the stripes and the bow on the blouse, as well pockets and neon pink earrings.

How about you, Reader Friends?  What’s your power feature?  And what do you do to show it off?

Gracey

Top two images via The Guardian and awfullibrarybooks.net.

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Already Pretty contributor Gracey hails from from Fashion for Giants. She’s essentially your average blogger, except that she’s taller than average (six foot) and bigger than average (size 14). She also likes to think that she’s more amusing than average, but that could just be vanity. In addition to being tall and plus-sized (and possibly hilarious), she’s also a thrift store shopper, a vintage lover, an Oregonian, and a bike commuter.

Likes: Gracey likes to shop, to blog, and to terrify her co-workers with brightly colored outfits.

Dislikes: Robot uprisings, too-short skirts, and leggings as pants.

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How to Love Yourself

by Sally on February 14, 2013 · 15 comments

how to love yourself

After decades of hetero-centric Valentine’s Day stories and articles that talk about savoring love, finding love, and keeping love with another person, it seems like there followed a tidal wave of “love yourself” topics and ideas for this holiday. And those have now become a little cliche. But since I’m in favor of self-love EVERY day, since I think loving yourself can enhance your ability to be a good partner, and since the topic of self-love can be extremely daunting, I’m going to cliche it up for the day.

Here are a few ways to show yourself some love:

  • Diminish negative self-talk: Listen closely to your internal monologue. Whenever you feel it veering off into criticism of your body, your choices, your actions, your relationships, try to pause. It takes time to truly halt negative self-talk, so start by just making yourself aware of it. How often are you berating yourself? Could you do it less? Give it a try.
  • Note your successes: Before you go to bed each night, think back on your day. What stood out as something that you did well, that felt good, that was a major or minor success? Did you close a deal or kick ass at a presentation? Did you make your kids giggle themselves silly? Did you put together a fantastic outfit? Some days this will feel more challenging than others, but keep at it. Even if the day’s success seems tiny, acknowledge it. And give yourself credit for it. You made that happen. You succeeded today.
  • Talk to the mirror: I know, That Old Chestnut. But I trot it out often because it WORKS, people. Before you begin your day in earnest, look in the mirror. Praise your body out loud while looking at your reflection. Say, “I have lustrous hair.” Say, “I have strong, powerful legs.” Say, “I have kind and welcoming eyes.” Try to think of something new each day. You may run out, so feel free to recycle. Just try it. It’s amazing.
  • Forgive yourself: This often goes hand-in-hand with diminishing negative self-talk, but can also exist separately. We are all our own worst critics. Next time you “screw up” and fall down a self-hatred rabbit hole in the aftermath, listen to how you’re talking to and about yourself. Would you say those things to your mom if she’d screwed up in a similar way? Your sister? Best friend? Partner? If not, why are you saying them to yourself? Everyone stumbles, and it’s important to learn from mistakes. But focus on the learning and forgiving, and try to move away from blame, shame, and self-loathing.
  • Engage praise: In my experience, praise attracts praise. Offering praise to strangers, family members, friends, and colleagues creates an environment conducive to positivity. Praise someone else – for a choice, an action, a design decision, a moment of bravery – and you’ll be amazed how quickly that praise returns to you. How is this beneficial in the Self-Love Department? Well, receiving praise is always good for confidence. But on a subtler level, when you dish out praise to others you are acknowledging the fact that the successes of others bring you joy. You are not buying into the myth that there is a limited amount of happiness, success, or beauty available in the world. You are fostering abundance for yourself and others. And that feels at once secure and liberating.

There are, of course, countless ways to love yourself and these are just a few! What other suggestions would you offer? What do YOU do to show yourself some love, or to cultivate an ongoing feeling of self-love?

Image courtesy jaroslavd.

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On Gifts: The Complexities of Giving and Receiving

by Sally on December 21, 2012 · 40 comments

On gifts: The complexities of giving and receiving

For many, the winter holidays mean gifts. Finding them, buying them, giving them, receiving them, using them, returning them, regifting them. I have several friends who are at their absolute happiest this time of year. They adore creating or hunting down the perfect, thoughtful gift for each and every friend and family member, and delight in being surprised by the gifts they receive in turn. (I’m looking at you, Trin.) I long for that skill set and gift-related mentality. Because I find the complexities of gift giving and receiving to be utterly perplexing.

I have a fairly small home that has become packed with belongings after more than ten years of residence. Husband Mike and I both enjoy shopping for clothing, art, gadgets, and most of the items that are deemed gift-appropriate. So we tend to request specific items from our families. They’ve come to accept this, but there’s still a little disappointment whenever we hand over our wishlists because a few of our rellies would rather surprise us with items they’ve selected on their own. I have no idea how to handle this. Still. I don’t want them to feel like we’re sucking the fun out of the holiday season, but I strongly prefer to give a few hints as to what I could most use when it comes to  … well, stuff. Goods. Purchase-ables.

And when it comes to gift giving, I become overwhelmed instantly. The mere thought of giving a loved one something they don’t like or cannot use fills me with anxiety. I end up demanding wishlists from my folks. And while it feels anticlimactic to give them an entirely unsurprising item, at least I know I didn’t guess wrong.

For the past couple of years, we’ve dealt with this in two ways: The adults have skipped holiday gifts altogether, or chosen a charity and all pitched in for a donation. This makes me so much happier. I have a passel of nephews who are at prime gift-receiving ages, and watching them dive into their games and toys is an absolute hoot. But the rest of us? We buy what we need on our own throughout the year, so the pressure-cooker of holiday gifts seems like a stress we can easily eliminate.

How do you navigate the politics of gifts? Do you do wishlists? Does it seem like there are some adult-specific social landmines littered around the holiday gift landscape? I mean, it’s no big if kids give a holiday wishlist …

Image courtesy ‘smil.

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If You Can’t See It, You Can’t Be It

by Sally on November 8, 2012 · 36 comments

More than a year ago, I saw the film Miss Representation. It was moving and inspiring and upsetting all at once, and even after months have passed I am still mulling its contents. One of the unexpected aftershocks comes in the form of a phrase that’s remained lodged in my brain. A political expert was explaining that the number of American women who show interest in pursuing political careers is dwindling. An oft-overlooked reason for this? There are relatively few women in politics right now. And – here comes the phrase – if you can’t see it, you can’t be it.

Gloria Steinem said this phrase in the film, and may even have originated it. I feel certain I’d heard it before, but for some reason, this was the first time it struck a chord. Because, clearly, it applies not just to politics but to business, athletics, science, and all typically male-dominated fields. Women don’t pursue those careers as often as men do because many view them as closed or hostile. They see so few other women working in those jobs, have so few role models fighting those dominant paradigms, that they assume they couldn’t possibly measure up. And so they don’t try.

Steinem points out, “We’re communal creatures. We’re very much influenced by what we see. As this documentary makes clear, if you can’t see it, you can’t be it.”

Of course, there are mold-breakers, pioneers, warriors, and standard-bearers. There are women who love business and science and athletics and politics SO HARD and are SO AMAZING at those things, that virtually nothing could stop them from chasing down their dreams. But there are also women who – consciously and subconsciously – look to their peers for cues and guidance. They watch their fellow women, note their choices and actions, and calculate accordingly. Examples are powerful influencers. When examples aren’t set, mustering the courage to go first can seem impossible.

The film also examined this concept in the light of beauty, bodies, and self-image. There are agreed-upon concepts of beauty that stem from social norms and are reinforced by media imagery. If you, as a person, look drastically different from the version of “beautiful” that is shoved at you by those media, you may never believe that what you are is also beautiful. You may never accept that beauty is a spectrum, not a trait. In my opinion, the same goes for concepts of “stylish.” There’s a huge, powerful marketing machine working to convince you that you need to buy and wear certain items from certain brands in order to be stylish. If you look drastically different from the version of “stylish” that is shoved at you by those companies, you may never believe that what you are is also stylish.

And this lights a fire under me. Because what I have here is a website, a place within the media (albeit a small one) from which I can show images of women who possess the spectrum of physical traits and attributes, span the decades, and dress as they see fit. I want you to see them, see their diversity, see their courage, see their gorgeous gamut of examples and witness yourself reflected back. Magazines, TV, books, and movies focus on a tiny subgroup of women and hold them up. It’s high time we start holding up a few more women and praising them, too.

Part of me rebels against, “If you can’t see it, you can’t be it.” I mean, there have been so many women throughout time who have plowed forward with ABSOLUTELY NO EXAMPLES AT ALL, and changed the face of history with their visionary bravery. And I struggle with the idea that we, as women, require others to go first before we can follow along. It’s not a concept that I love and embrace. But it’s one that I recognize as containing some important grains of truth. We are communal creatures, and we are influenced by what we see. So I intend to do a lot of showing. I intend to introduce you to women from everywhere doing everything and looking just like you’d expect and like nothing you’ve ever dreamed of in the hopes of hitting just a few chords inside just a few women. If I can show just one woman the example she needs to pick up and follow her dreams, believe in her beauty, register her worth, I will consider myself an unqualified success.

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Fancy Lady Equipment

by Sally on October 22, 2012 · 56 comments

Most conspiracy theories make me giggle. I’m a pretty open-minded gal, but the notion that the moon landing was faked strikes me as downright bizarre. However, I do believe that most major cosmetics and personal care products companies actively conspire against women. These corporations strive to manufacture discontent among women to convince them to buy new products, more products, complex systems of products to combat our apparent flaws. In many cases, the conspiracy goes even deeper, getting women hooked on certain cosmetics or procedures as mere gateways, eventually revealing that more costly versions will yield even better results. It’s a system that not only convinces women we’re undeniably imperfect, but also snows us into believing that our “imperfections” can be cured with products. And, of course, bales of money.

So I find myself seething with frustration at the discovery that, in many cases, paying more for beauty products and services actually DOES make a difference. Often times, the more expensive option is the better one. Not always, of course, but far more often than I’d prefer.

For ages, I got two haircuts per year. At Cost Cutters. My big mane of curls could handle just about anything that a $12 trim could dish out. But over a year ago, I got a pixie cut and quickly realized that corraling my thick waves into a tidy short cut required a bit more expertise. I fared better at a spendy salon, working with a stylist who specialized in curls and waves. And the outrageously expensive products that stylist sold me? They kept my locks in better shape than the drug store gels and mousses I’d used for ages.

The second aggravating step in my hair-related realizations came when I noticed that my cheap-ass flat-iron didn’t actually do much in the way of straightening. At the salon, my stylist’s shimmering ceramic flat-iron left my hair shiny and smooth. My crappy, ancient, metal dinosaur just yanked out hairs and fried my ends. I ponied up for a top-of-the-line model (the GHD one shown above), and lo, shiny, smooth pixie at home. Much grumbling ensued.

A friend of mine makes her living writing and teaching about wise and prudent spending, so when SHE informed me that a $150 Clairsonic Mia would help with my acne and blotchiness, I was inclined to believe her. And she wasn’t yanking my chain. I can’t quite believe I plunked down that kind of cash for a little, humming, swirling face brush, but damn, it has made a noticeable difference.

The first blush I ever bought was the legendary NARS Orgasm, and I adored it. But it set me back $28 and I felt like a fool for spending so much. Five types of drugstore blush later, I understood how a blush becomes legendary.

Now, I still refuse to do pro manicures. I’ve gotten at least a dozen in the past few years and from dirt cheap to breathtakingly expensive, they’ve all sucked. I’ve never met a cheap lipstick I didn’t love, including the $2 jobbers from Target. I use grocery store olive oil as my cleanser when I haul out my wildly expensive Clairsonic Mia, and I’m proud of it. There are so many beauty bargains out there and I seek them whenever I can, but I’m amazed and aggravated to find that many products, tools, and services are actually worth the extra cash.

Of course, this all assumes that you are a woman who wears blush or wants to straighten her hair. Plenty of women go completely natural, and that route is an undeniably fabulous one. After all, it could be argued that even a $2 lipstick feeds the manufactured discontent machine. But I’m curious to hear from those of you who chose to consume beauty products and services. Have you found that, in many cases, spending more yields better results? Any cases in which cheaper is better? By all means, share!

*This post originally appeared on The Frisky.

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

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Beating the Body Blues

by Sally on October 11, 2012 · 35 comments

Body blues can hit for a thousand different reasons. Many of those reasons are big and heavy and far-reaching and nothing that can be “fixed” by a simple behavioral change or shift in consciousness. Body blues vary in depth and breadth, and I’ve no intention of minimizing the challenges posed by that constant, low-level drone of self-loathing that can settle into your life and linger for ages.

But some body blues are more fleeting. Sometimes you’ve felt good for a nice, long stretch then get hit by a surprising setback. Sometimes you can feel leaden and discouraged, but sense that a shift toward positivity is within reach. Sometimes you know that taking action will help. Maybe just a little. So here are some suggestions for activities and ideas that might help you beat the body blues.

Wear Color

If you’re feeling self-conscious about your body, you’re likely to gravitate toward black, gray, and other dark neutrals. If you can force yourself to wear color, you just might be astonished by how quickly it’ll lift your spirits. If specific body parts are causing you anxiety, don’t feel obliged to bathe them in color. You don’t even need to go the clothing route! Switch to a bright handbag, throw on a colorful scarf, slip on your favorite neon ballet flats. Wearing color may not have a direct effect on your body image, but seeing color generally provides a little shot of joy. And if you see that delightful color on your body, that loosey-goosey connection can tighten up a bit.

Exercise

Let me be clear: I know that body blues are often related to weight gain, and I am NOT suggesting that you begin a strenuous workout routine so you can shed those extra pounds and feel better. That’s not how I roll. But I do believe in the power of endorphins, and getting your body moving is one of the quickest ways to dump those babies into your system. When I’m feeling crappy about my body, I always want to skip the gym. And I mean always. But when I force myself to go, I am always astonished by how much better I feel.

Practice Positive Self-talk

If you’re already hanging out in the Valley of Self-loathing, likelihood is you’re busily trash-talking your body. Maybe not out loud, but internally. And one of the best ways to make that stop is simply to make yourself mindful. When you realize that you’re saying nasty things to your upper arms or rear end, pause, breathe deeply, and take the opportunity to re-route your thinking. Express a positive thought about your body – its strength, agility, resilience, beauty, balance, grace, anything at all. The more you’re able to do this, the quicker you’ll zip out of that valley. (Quick note: Don’t worry if you can’t always do this. The last thing you need is to realize you’ve been engaging in negative self-talk, and then beat yourself up for failing to reverse the behavior! Go easy on yourself.)

Again, body blues will vary in severity. These practices won’t banish any body blues indefinitely, but may help a bit in many cases. And as anyone who has visited the Valley of Self-loathing will tell you, a little bit can go a long way.

What other tips would you offer for beating the body blues? When you’re feeling temporarily frustrated by or upset with your body, how do you cope? What actions do you take to improve your feelings about your physical form?

Image courtesy craigCloutier.

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