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Why My Body Isn’t Bikini Season Ready & I Don’t Care

by Ashe on June 14, 2013 · 51 comments

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It’s June! Hot, sunny, sweaty, glorious June.  Which means for at least two months now, you’ve been seeing magazine headlines like, 5 Tips To Get Fit This Bikini Season! and Groupon deals for Bikini Boot camps. Many women find these headlines motivational and inspiring; they’re able to leverage them to take on a mission to help them feel and look their best. And then many of us feel shamed: we can never compare and don’t deserve the chance to bask in the glorious sun, beach side or poolside.

In the past decade, there have been so many times when I’ve worn a swimsuit that I can’t remember them all. The birthday party in college. The two summers of swimming at the university pool, where I was more insecure about my weak swimming skills than how I looked. Last summer’s tubing adventure, where I wore a suit in front of the same friend who once told me, “You’re getting too fat. It’s getting embarrassing to be seen with you.” (That comment happened at a party, not tubing.) She can be embarrassed all she wants, but it isn’t going to stop me from having fun on the river.

Just like I have no problems stripping for a masseuse or spreading my legs for my yearly gynecological visit, I have no qualms about wearing a swimsuit in public.  All of these acts have the same intention at heart — providing care for our bodies. What’s shameful in that? Whether working the knots out in tense muscles, ensuring my ovaries and cervix are healthy and happy, or providing my body much needed movement and exercise, it’s about choosing to care for our bodies.

As a plus-size woman (or fat girl, if you want to be blunt), I know I’m supposed to feel shame wearing a swimsuit in public. The simple truth is … I don’t. 

The concept of bikini season – and ensuring your body is ready for it – is just marketing. It’s just emotional manipulation. It’s just a lie to encourage the sales of swimsuits, diet plans, and workout plans. The summer months are notoriously slow for businesses and sales begin to tank. It’s why everyone has clearance sales galore, including high-end stores like Nordstrom, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Neiman Marcus. The desire to sell you tanning lotions, bikinis, and workout sessions are rooted in a desire to continue to make money through those slow months. It’s no more about your body than holiday diets, anti-aging creams, lotions, or serums, hair color sales … it’s all about making you feel insecure so you’ll buy into a product.

Regardless of your body type or size, you should feel safe going out in public in a swimsuit.  You should feel safe going in the water without fear of judgement, because that judgement is in your head.  Most people are so caught up in their own insecurities about their own bodies they won’t notice you and your body. You’re going to be far more harsh about the state of your body than anyone else will be.

In the words of Gabi Fresh:

As always, I truly encourage you guys to get to the beach (or a pool) this summer–don’t let body shame keep you from having a good time! I don’t expect everyone to feel comfortable in a two piece, but hopefully I can inspire some of you to take the plunge. I can’t tell you how freeing it is to just have fun without worrying about what other people think.

For inspiring swimsuit & bikini season reads:

My favorite resources for swimsuits (esp. of the plus-size variety!):

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for Dramatis Personae. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

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Already Pretty contributor Ashley began blogging in 2007 at Dramatis Personae, which focuses on life & style. She recently launched Style in Cinema to combine her loves of shopping, fashion, and film/television.  Ashley’s love of fashion began at 10, when she bought her first issue of Seventeen magazine; this also marked the beginning of a life long battle with learning to love her body. As a plus-sized gal, she loves promoting fashion for all women and shops that want to make all ladies feel beautiful.  She currently calls New Orleans home.

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Reader Request: Dressing Professionally for the Petite Busty Frame

by Sally on April 17, 2013 · 20 comments

Kay popped this question into the suggestion box:

How would you professionally dress a busty (we are talking more than DD here) short (5 foot!), curvy woman with hourglass shape? (As in thigh proportionate to the bust.) And no, wearing heels is not an option.

I since I’m neither petite nor busty myself, I asked stylist and blogger extraordinaire Imogen Lamport of Inside Out Style to help me out. And boy, did she deliver! Kay didn’t give us tons of detail, so these recommendations assume that goals include ensembles that will work in a relatively conservative work environment, figure balance, and downplaying the bust at least somewhat. Read on for Imogen’s ideas.

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24 Top Tips to Looking Professional When You’re Petite and Busty

There are a few tricks that all large busted women (of all heights) can do to downplay their busts, assuming that’s a priority.

Jewellery Tips for Busty Petites

Divert attention from your bust

1. Wear larger scale necklaces and pendants, but made from multiple smaller pieces so they don’t overwhelm your smaller scale.
2. Wear lower necklines to your balance point.
3. Avoid any gathering around or frills on your neckline as these will make your bust look larger.
4. Wear a jacket or cardigan; it will help to downplay your bust.
5. Don’t wear tops with sheen or shine as they draw attention and make the area they cover look bigger.
6. Avoid stiff fabrics as they stand out from your body and add bulk.
7. Avoid textured tops such as bulky knits, mohair, velvet and anything puffa!
8. Button-up shirts need to fit correctly across the bust, either buy from a specialist manufacturer or go up a size so that there is not pulling or gaping at the bust and have the rest of the shirt taken in to fit you.

What to Avoid busty petites

Petite particulars

1. Keep your fabrics soft and drapey so they fall close to your body, skimming it without clinging to it.
2. Keep your lines simple and clean. You are a small palette, clean not cluttered is your mantra.
3. Avoid too much fabric, gathers, waterfalls, pleats as they will overwhelm your petite frame.
4. Only one focal point at a time. Ideally up high to draw the eye up to your face.
5. Wear a column of colour, this works particularly well if the colour is darker and wear a lighter jacket or cardigan, left open to create lengthening vertical lines.
6. Blend shoe colour to pants or skin (if wearing a skirt or dress) as they won’t draw attention and will make you legs appear to start at your feet, rather than your ankles.
7. Low vamp shoes are your friend when wearing skirts or dresses as they elongate your legs.
8. Keep skirts and dresses to knee-length or your legs will look super short.

Looking professional

What to wear - petite and busty

1. Keep lines clean – no frills or flounces as they may make you look young and childlike, not professional or mature.
2. Structured garments will make you look more professional and strong.
3. Look for fabrics that are high quality as this indicates that you, too, do high quality work
4. Darker colours and will give you a business-like edge
5. Wear a top or jacket in your eye colour as this draws attention up to your face. When people are focusing on your face they are less likely to notice your height.
6. Heels are an option for some, but not essential, just ensure trousers are hemmed as long as possible without dragging on the floor
7. Ensure your sleeve hems don’t cover your hands, they should end just past the wrist. Sleeves that are too long will make the whole garment look too large for you, like you’ve borrowed your big sister’s clothes and you’re playing dress-ups.
8. Get your clothes altered to fit your unique body shape. Mass market clothing manufacturing isn’t catering to your body shape, so you need to have it moulded to your body.

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Thanks to Imogen for a great group of ideas! Any other busty petites out there? Will these tips work for you? Other ideas to share with Kay?

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Guest Post: Style and Privilege

by Sally on April 5, 2013 · 61 comments

This post comes from reader N., who contacted me a while back with some astute and eye-opening feedback. I’ll let her explain.

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I first emailed Sally a month ago when I first got into reading fashion blogs. I started thinking about the feelings that I got when I looked at incredibly gorgeous people in incredibly gorgeous clothing. I’m talking about blog envy, of course.

It’s something most of us have felt at least once, “Why didn’t I think of that color pairing first?” “If only I could work an SLR.” “I wish I could afford a closet full of Jimmy Choo’s.” “My legs never look that smooth and tan. Not fair.” We see it. We envy it. We get over it. It’s inevitable. It just comes with the territory of fashion blogs and readership.

However, when I started to read this blog in particular, I came to the conclusion that most of the envy I felt towards blogs sounded less like what I typed above and more like, “I wish I could just stand in the street and take pictures of myself,” “Why can’t I just wear my purple dress outside?” “I wonder what would happen if I stood outside in that outfit.” Let me explain.

As a teenaged girl just recently recovering from an eating disorder, I learned that fashion was the only thing that made me feel amazing. (Ironic, I know.) I didn’t have to do anything because I could just throw on something beautiful and I would feel beautiful. With my hair done, makeup put on, shoes shined, and guns blazing, I could actually hold my head up high. I’m not quite sure if everybody feels that when they first discover fashion, but I sure did, and it immediately became one of my favorite things in the world. However, fashion is and was something that I kept inside the house.

By the great, wonderful chance of birth, I happened to be born in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in one of the most dangerous sections of one of the most dangerous cities in America, give or take a couple of statistics. As much as I love fashion, it’s simply impossible for me to throw on my favorite outfit and step out of my house unscathed. You see, where I’m from, something as simple as what you choose to wear can mean catcalling, people touching you, and even driving up beside you and asking, “How much?” And they’re not asking you how much your new wedges cost, either. I’ve even had family members and friends get mugged because, duh, being somewhat fashionable shouts, “I have money! Please relieve me of it. Thanks.” My neighborhood is called “the Badlands” for a reason.

Most days, I just throw on a ratty school sweater, jeans, and an old pair of moccasins before going out. I throw my hair into a messy, frizzy bun (hair that’s the texture only a biracial girl like me could have) and I’m out the door. Did I mention the same people that harass you for daring to wear pretty clothes also harass you for doing the opposite? I’ve had the words “ugly,” “trifling,” and “ghetto” all thrown at me while walking down the street and to be honest, it feels uncomfortable. Not because random people are shouting at me, but because me-in-a-raggedy-sweater doesn’t feel like me. Just the same way I’m sure Sally or Audi or Gabi or Weesha would feel out of place in ugly clothes they feel don’t represent them or who they are. As a young girl recovering from several years of an eating disorder, it feels doubly awful because the one thing that I always wanted to be was pretty and now that I have the mindset to convince myself that I am, my environment still prevents me from physically showing people how much I’ve come to terms with myself. Many people forget basic privileges like this.

If any of you reading this have a fashion blog, I’m not sure you know how great it is that you can just step outside and take a bunch of pictures with your head held high, showing the world your fiercest/cutest/sweetest poses. And when you open your closets or your armoires or your bureaus in the morning and you say to yourself, “I’m wearing X, Y, and Z today and I’m going to look awesome!” you probably don’t stop to realize that many people can’t really do that. Realize how much of a privilege it is to simply be yourself when you step out the door. How you can present yourself as a vintage pinup or the sleek, embodiment of androgyny or a walking Alexander McQueen mannequin and the most you have to worry about is a few stares or sideways glances.

Be happy with yourself and your choices. Not all of us can show ourselves to the world.

Image courtesy Infradept

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Reader Request: Stylish Shoes That Accomodate Orthotics

by Sally on March 26, 2013 · 21 comments

I’ve had many requests for this topic and knew I was out of my depth, so I called in an expert. Kirsten over at Barking Dog Shoes gets many shout-outs from me for her unmatched expertise in finding shoes that work for fussy feet of all kinds. Read on for her recommendations for stylish shoes that accomodate orthotics!

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I’ll never forget when the podiatrist handed me my brand spankin’ new custom orthotics and said, “You’ll need to buy a pair of New Balance sneakers now and wear them all the time.” I dutifully nodded, then promptly walked to my car and cried. It was 1998 and I had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis three months prior. I was a 28 year-old middle school teacher that loved cute shoes. My tears quickly turned to resolve as I dismissed the thought of wearing glaringly white, cloddy sneakers with my skirts. No way, no how. There had to be some other type of footwear that would accommodate the orthotics. I soon became frustrated in my search, however. Remember, this was fifteen years ago. I settled on removing the insoles from my favorite purple suede Hush Puppies and shoving the orthotics in them for an anything-but-custom fit. Sigh.

Fast forward to 2013. While I would never wish chronic foot problems on anyone, there’s never been a better time for finding shoes for your much-needed orthotics. Yes, those white New Balances will do the trick, but let me help you find something with a little more style, sass or class for your work environment.

1. Dutch brand Wolky offers several collections with removable insoles. Try the Seraphina ankle-strap flat, the Tyler ankle boot or Tempo heeled mary jane.

2. Israeli brand, Naot: Many styles feature a removable cork and latex footbed which is incredibly supportive yet removable for orthotics. Recommended styles: Naot Sea, Taramoa and Myna mary janes and the Paris sandal.

3. Clark’s. I honestly didn’t know Clark’s actually made a few heels with removable footbeds, but take a look at the Sugar Dust and Levee Delta. The Wave collection of casual-sporty shoes all have removable footbeds for orthotics: check out the Wave.Trek. All available in multiple widths.

4. New Balance dress-casual brand, Aravon makes office-appropriate footwear in a varietly of sizes and widths, most with a removable footbed. The Maya is their most popular style.

5. Saving the best for last, I just came across the Portuguese brand, Softwaves, at OnlineShoes.com and was thrilled to see that their closed-toe styles feature removable footbeds. The styles are precious. Take a look at the Kyoto criss-cross shootie and the Wave ruched mary jane in citron and red coral.

If you want to wear a flip-flop this summer, try Orthaheel’s Tide or Carla II Toe Post with a built-in orthotic.

Do you wear orthotics? Heard of these brands before? Which styles appeal to you?

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for barkingdogshoes.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

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Guest Post: I Learned Everything About Style From 90s Song Lyrics

by Sally on February 27, 2013 · 17 comments

I met Shalini at the BlogHer conference last year. She was wearing the most fantastic vintage, floral-print, full-skirted dress ever created by humankind and it was all I could do to keep myself from conking her over the head and swapping her dress for mine. (Red and cute, but not AS cute.) We ended up chatting a bit about books and publishing and blogging, but were both speaking on panels and a little distracted and overwhelmed. It wasn’t until I got home and looked up her blog, Reading and Chickens, that I realized I’d just met a hilarious, astute, and truly original writer. (She also draws humorous cartoons and charts for her blog, which are fabulously entertaining.)

So, approximately a million years later, I realized I needed to hit her up for a guest post. And she delivered, friends. Oh, did she ever.

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That’s me in the 90s. I didn’t have the benefit of the whole oeuvre of 90s music to help guide my style, and thus, I looked like that. I am much more worldly and sophisticated now, as you can see.

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Right? Look at that dubious smile. Look at how I look like I don’t know I’m super cool. (I know. I’m super cool.) Look at those pirate bangs covering one eye. It’s all from the 90s. It wasn’t just about jeans ripped in the exact wrong places and believing that Doc Martens went with everything, it was about style.

I know a lot of you already know all of this from reading Already Pretty, and although I’ve been a reader of Sally’s for years, and a worshipper at the shrine of What Not To Wear (both the UK and American versions, because I like overkill) (seriously, how many episodes did I have to watch before l learned that in every episode all they were saying was TRY HARDER YOU SLOBS), I am also a “learn by feel” gal. That means I have to mess up a whole bunch of times before I actually get it. And I had to listen to a lot of 90s music for this to come together. Suddenly I’m feeling all emo and like I want to paint my fingernails black and yell at my mom about how she’s ruining my life and slam doors.

And thus, here are my style tips based on 90s songs.

1. Dress Up

Some people ask me why it is – since I work from home and have young children constantly using me as a human Kleenex (a very high honor, as my kids won’t wipe their boogers on just anybody) – that I’d want to dress up every single day. Why, indeed? As with almost everything in life, the answer lies in inimitable, iconic Meat Loaf: I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won’t Do That.

And by “that,” I mean, “dress like I don’t care about my appearance.” I’m a mother, not Courtney Love. Well, she’s a mother, too, but you know what I mean. I’m allowed to look nice even if no one else but my runny-nosed children/suicidal drug-addled rock star husband* are going to see me all day. I’m going to see me all day, and I’d like to smile (dubiously) when I look at myself.

*My husband is actually not a rock star but a software engineer, tanned only by the faint blue glow of a computer screen. Instead of tattoos, he has a t-shirt that says, “Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more lives.” HOT.

2. Wear Your Size, Even If It’s Bigger Than You Want It To Be

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The other thing I discovered about my personal style as I dressed up more is that I was wearing the wrong size. I could fit into smaller pants, so shouldn’t I? But I felt, as the Stone Temple Pilots put it so eloquently, “Dead and Bloated.” I went up a pants size (fine, two pants sizes) and voila! I just felt dead, not bloated.

A great improvement.

3. Wear Nice Things, Even If It Seems* You Can’t Afford Them

Why would I spend money on clothes when I don’t make much money? Because of the Smashing Pumpkins, of course. Because today is the greatest day I’ve ever known. I can’t live for tomorrow.

Wait, that’s terrible advice. If I took that advice, my kids’ college funds would be depleted and I’d have eaten all the cheese in the house in a single sitting. What kind of fatalistic garbage are you talking about, Smashing Pumpkins?

I suppose maybe they’re trying to tell me that I need to start caring about what I wear right now, as opposed to waiting for some indefinite point in the future to pin my hopes and dreams on them being better. I’m sure they were writing those lyrics just for me and talking about wearing that Anthropologie dress I love instead of an ill-fitting dress I got for four dollars that makes me feel awful, right?

*If you seriously can’t afford them, don’t buy expensive clothes. Food > Fashion.

4. Find Clothes For YOUR Body Type

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As Radiohead put it, “I don’t care if it hurts. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.”

I can’t really help with the soul part.

But! I know I have a perfect body. It’s oxygenates blood and fights diseases like a freaking pro.

It’s just that I don’t have the perfect body for skinny jeans.

Or empire waist tops. (Unless I’m in the mood to be asked how many months pregnant I am—which is sometimes super fun, but you know, only when the mood strikes me).

Or heels. (Oh my goodness, I have written whole treatises against high heels.) (Sorry Sally but THEY’RE THE DEVIL.)

Or anything into which my kiester cannot fit.

But I do have the perfect body for shirtdresses and tights and miniskirts and scarves, so try to top that, neutrophils and eosinophils! Oh, you can heal my body from infection? I suppose that’s a tiny bit impressive, but not as impressive as a corduroy mini-skirt.

Maybe.

(Fine, you win, immune system. YOU WIN.)

5. Clothes Are Supposed To Be Fun

You know what my favorite song from the 90s was? That one by the Crash Test Dummies that goes, “Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm. Mmmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm.”

Yeah, totally deep, right? Those lyrics really connect with my soul on a different plane.

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And my soul says: Shalini likes polka-dots. Shalini likes bright colors. Shalini is not a fan of pants. DOWN WITH PANTS. It’s alright if I’m the only one with yellow tights at school drop off, because it’s me, you know?

MMMM HMMM.

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Shalini is taking a photo of her outfit every single day for the foreseeable future, because she’s a masochist. Yes, she does really like the Mmmm song. She blogs at Reading and Chickens about everything, and is on Twitter way, way too much @booksnchickens.

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How to Get Beautiful Skin from the Inside Out

by Sally on January 29, 2013 · 37 comments

How to get beautiful skin from the inside out

So often we look for quick fixes in lotions and potions that promise to help us look younger and more beautiful. But nothing is more effective than approaching beauty from the inside out. Our skin is a reflection of what’s going on in our bodies, says health coach Christine Gonzalez. Certain foods are said to heal and protect skin; while others can contribute to breakouts and wrinkles (yes, wrinkles). Here is a guide to some great beautifiers and some things you may want to rethink.

Beautifiers. Here are some things Gonzalez recommends for beautiful skin and why they’re so helpful.

  • Whole Foods. You can heal your skin by eating plenty of whole, unprocessed, organic foods to provide your body with more nutrients and fewer toxins, says Gonzalez. Fruits and leafy greens like kale and spinach are especially good.
  • Omega-3s. You can prevent fine lines and wrinkles with Omega-3 fatty acids. These beauties keep skin hydrated and more elastic. You can find them in oil-rich fish (like salmon), flax seeds and walnuts.
  • Antioxidants. Load up on antioxidant-rich foods like blueberries, red grapes and pomegranate to prevent wrinkles because they protect skin from damaging free radicals brought on by exposure to the sun and pollution.
  • Fiber. Get your daily dose of fiber to heal skin by flushing out toxins. The daily recommendation is about 25 to 35 grams per day. Most people only get about half that, according to the American Heart Association. Beans, whole fruits and whole grains are all chock full of fiber.
  • Hydrate. Drinking plenty of water also helps flush out toxins. The daily recommendation is 64 ounces, or about five 12-ounce glasses. If you get bored with water, try tea as long as it’s free of caffeine, which is a diuretic.

Things to Avoid. There are also quite a few things that aren’t doing your skin any favors.

  • Stress. OK, it can be nearly impossible to avoid stress; but you can find ways to manage it. And that will get you on the road to clearer skin. “Stress is one of the leading triggers of acne,” says Dr. Katie Rodan, one of the dermatologists behind the popular Proactiv line. To manage stress, she recommends getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, practicing yoga and taking time out for calming activities like a relaxing bath.
  • Fats. If pimples or rosacea are a problem for you, it will be helpful to cut back on fatty foods, especially ones with saturated fats, which can be found in things like whole dairy products, fatty meats, and coconut and palm oils. Fats promote inflammation, which in turn makes rosacea worse and encourages small bumps and pimples.
  • Sugar. Sugar contributes to wrinkles, acne and rosacea. It stiffens the skin and leads to fine lines and wrinkles by breaking down collagen density. Just like fats, sugar promotes inflammation, which exacerbates rosacea and leads to bumps and pimples. It also stimulates the growth of a certain kind of fungus, which promotes acne. Who knew a cute little cupcake could launch such an assault on the face?
  • Processed Foods. When you eat processed foods, like white bread and chips, you get the same effects as when you eat sugar, because these foods lack nutrients and quickly convert into sugar in our bodies.

Reality Check. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m no food saint and I’m not into extremes. In fact, I have found that when I have tried to cut something out of my diet altogether, I found that I just wanted it more and then overindulged later so I will eat the occasional cheeseburger and slice of deep dish pizza. And I will totally nosh on awesome appetizers at a party. BUT I try to indulge in moderation and find a balance by making sure I’m nourishing myself with plenty of good options as well. For instance, if I get a burger, I’ll make sure to drink plenty of water with it and pair it with salad. And if I’m going to a party, I’ll have one or two green smoothies chock full of fruit and veggies beforehand so I don’t arrive starving and I will have filled up a bit on good stuff first (you can learn more about green smoothies and get recipe ideas on Hello Beauty).

I also find that knowing the information above is a good incentive to limit the offenders and indulge in more of the good stuff; and my skin thanks me for it.

photo by drubuntu

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Already Pretty contributor Sonja Shin is a beauty and wellness writer, TV reporter and producer and on-camera talent based in St. Louis. She has appeared as a beauty expert guest on Fox News in St. Louis and has reported general and health/medical news at TV stations in San Francisco, Seattle and St. Louis. Her blog Hello Beauty focuses on beauty and wellness with many reviews, tips and tricks, and how to videos.

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Guest Post: Robin Abrahams on Michelle Obama

by Sally on January 20, 2013 · 20 comments

Today’s guest post comes to us from the fabulous Robin Abrahams. Prepare to be impressed, friends: Robin writes the popular “Miss Conduct” social advice column for the Boston Globe Sunday magazine and has co-authored articles in the Harvard Business Review, Sloan Management Review, and the Wall Street Journal. A Cambridge resident with a PhD. in research psychology from Boston University, Robin has a regular segment (“Social Studies”) on WGBH radio’s “Emily Rooney Show.” And she’s just as smart, funny, and fascinating as you’d expect someone with that resume to be.

Since we’re coming right up on Inauguration Day – and since most of the style world (myself included) is totally enamored of the First Lady’s fashion sense – Robin wrote a fantastic piece on why we all fell hard for Mrs. O. And her answer will surprise you!

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Michelle Obama got my attention as a fashion icon during the 2008 Democratic National Convention. The fist bump, the purple sheath dress and sleek bob that evoked Jackie Kennedy and “Mad Men” and Laura Petrie, the tough studded belt, the pearls just a little too big. Just enough to let us know she was going to play this game her own way. I was on a one-way train to Girlcrush City.

I’ve always had a soft spot for First Ladies, having to make theater out of the most intimate relationship of their lives and feared for their influence while having no real power. Women of my generation, Gen-Xers, have been relatively deprived of First-Lady style. Mrs. Reagan, though glamorous, was too old and tiny and fancy to be a practical role model. Both Mrs. Bushes dressed as though they would have much preferred to have been left alone with a good book, a look which evoked my sympathy but which I was all too skilled at achieving on my own. Mrs. Clinton’s recent uniform of black suit, ponytail, red lipstick and shades is straight-up gangster steez, but she was an awkward and out-of-place First Lady.

And then came Mrs. O. To understand what she means to the women of Generation X, you have to understand this: Michelle Obama is Veronica Sawyer in “Heathers.”

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For a woman of a certain age, there was no more fundamental cinematic experience than seeing “Heathers” for the first time, in our pre-Columbine innocence. Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) is pretty and socially adept enough to be accepted by the mean girls, too smart and good-hearted to stay one of them forever, and tough enough to put them out of business for good. And she looked amazing doing it, in grey jersey and black grosgrain and colored tights. Winona Ryder will never be a shoplifter or (shudder) Spock’s mom to us—she will always be Veronica.

So when Mrs. O came on the scene—well, many of us swooned. Stylewise, Michelle Obama is to standard First Lady attire as Veronica Sawyer is to the Heathers.

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Look how Veronica is softer, quirkier than the Heathers. First Lady style has typically been stiff and authoritative: First Ladies have psychological if not literal shoulder pads. They are armored. Like Veronica, Mrs. O shows her shoulders. She is simultaneously softer and more feminine, and also tougher and more streetwise, than any First Lady has dared to be. She wears cardigans when they wear blazers, bares her legs when they wear pantyhose.

Taking Veronica Sawyer as a fashion role model was one thing. But Mrs. Obama is six feet tall and the color of chocolate, while I am five foot four and the color of halvah. Mistakes were made. The vernal green and yellow argyle cardigan made me look like a depressed Smithie circa 1954. Giant flower pins on my collarbone kept catching the edge of my peripheral vision causing me to jump and swat at myself like a cat. Of the empire-waist dress we shall not speak, save to say that you-who-know-who-you-are can stop apologizing, already. Even my doctor asked.

And there’s the part where I’m not the First Lady of the United States, and while I too like J Crew and mixing up high- and low-end pieces, in my wardrobe the J Crew is the high end. Then again, I’m not seventeen and dating a psychopath (anymore), but that doesn’t mean don’t still have a lot to learn from Veronica Sawyer. Without further ado, to celebrate the 25 years of “Heathers” and four more years of Mrs. O, I give you Four Fashion Things I Learned from Michelle Obama and Veronica Sawyer.

1. Limit Your Colors OR Your Shapes (or Both). Ever notice how Michelle Obama is almost always wearing either a sheath dress (from knee to floor length), a full-skirted dress, or pants and a loosely fitted top? You will now. Mrs. O looks wonderful in a wide range of colors—pastels to black and white to neon to jewel tones—and she wears them all. Her styles, however, are uniform.

Veronica Sawyer, by contrast, wore everything from miniskirts to Chanel-cut suits to jeans and pullovers to leggings and whatever we wore over leggings the first time around—always in black, blue, grey, and white.

Most of us don’t look good in all the shapes and all the colors, and those of us who do, don’t have the closet room or the headspace to organize it all, anyway. Keeping a consistent palette of either colors or shapes makes it easier to combine outfits, shop for missing pieces, and figure out how to incorporate new trends.

2. Accessories: Go Big or Go Home. Monocles, flower brooches, military medallions, statement necklaces, armloads of bangles—okay, maybe not the monocles. But the power of an accessory to make an outfit yours, and to ever so slightly suggest that you don’t take yourself too seriously, can’t be overstated. This winter, I’ve been getting a lot of use out of a leopard-print oversized scarf and an orangey coral bracelet. My colors tend to be mixed neutrals and dark earth tones, so these add a little pop of color and play.

(Big accessories work better if you keep a consistent color-and-or-shape profile, otherwise you can edge dangerously close to that fashion zone known as “kooky.”)

3. Dress to Move. Mrs. Obama’s fitness campaign is called “Let’s Move,” and she wears clothes you can imagine moving in: dancing, running for the bus, bending down to talk to children. What other First Lady looked as though she could Double-Dutch or hula-hoop whenever she wanted to? And how smashing and appropriate did Veronica Sawyer always look, whether fighting off a cowtipping date-rapist, fleeing the police, covered in soot and gunpowder, or playing croquet?

If you can’t move easily in a piece of clothing, it doesn’t fit right, and it’s not you, it’s it. So get it altered or find a different one or wear it anyway, but don’t blame your body.

4. Dress for Any Table in the Cafeteria. Unlike the Heathers, Veronica could sit at any table in the cafeteria. She didn’t wear a cheerleader’s uniform, or a black trenchcoat, or a slogan. Her style was a matter of individual expression, not tribal affiliation. Mrs. Obama, similarly, keeps a flexible profile: classic American prep mixed with urban edge, athletic practicality, high glamour, aesthetic adventuresomeness. It’s more than mere eclecticism—it’s a way of acknowledging, as another Gen-X teen classic would have it, that there’s a princess, a basket case, a brain, a jock, and a criminal inside every one of us. Dress like you know it.

Top image via BET. Heathers images via Drafthouse and Carry On Dancing.

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Guest Post: Ali Elabbady Shares Powerful Music and Images

by Sally on January 13, 2013 · 25 comments

Today’s post comes from Ali Elabbady, who … well, this talented local musician actually does a stellar job of explaining how this particular collaboration came about, so I’ll just hand over the post directly! Enjoy!

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Hey everyone, I’m Egypto Knuckles aka Ali Elabbady, producer and CEO for Background Noise Crew. Long story short (or vice versa), Sally and I met at Giant Steps 2012 at the Guthrie, and although we didn’t form an immediate connection, I reached out to her via Twitter after recollecting one of the instructions I received at Giant Steps, which was to work with people outside of my industry. That would also be my passion: Music. So you might ask, what the heck am I doing writing a post for Already Pretty?

Well, it all started when I started ruminating how to reach out to people outside of my industry, or try to draw myself closer to people outside of my industry through my existing passion. Then it hit me: “Album art.” I proceeded to tweet Sally with my idea, and we went with it. As you’ll notice, there’s a common theme here of women commanding power within an industry that tends to oversexualize and create distorted images of women. What I’m presenting here is not only album art that offers powerful images of strong women, but also reflects the adversity that these women may have faced while participating in the music industry and illustrates what they did to revolutionize it. So here they are: Seven albums, seven songs, which allow you, the reader, to delve a little bit and learn the story behind each person/band and their music.

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Queen Latifah
All Hail The Queen (1989)

When folks first saw Queen Latifah, MTV was in its 8th year and many of us were caught up in finding our favorite shows to watch like”Remote Control” or even “Headbanger’s Ball.”  But as a youth myself, I was caught up in the heyday of “YO! MTV Raps” with Fab 5 Freddy, and made a ritual of staying up past midnight every Friday to enjoy it. So imagine my surprise when I saw this video for the first time, especially seeing Queen Latifah and Monie Love wearing what was a hybrid of traditional African garments mixed with pantsuits. They were definitely ushering in something that hadn’t been found yet: A voice for women in Hip-Hop. In terms of the album cover for “All Hail The Queen,” the pose seems rather simple, but the album is a powerful force of nature within Hip-Hop and is still considered influential to this day.

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Martha Wash
“Carry On“
Martha Wash (1992)

If you’re not familiar with Martha Wash, I can’t necessarily blame you. But whether you knew it or not, you may have been an early supporter of her music. She was part of a duo known as Two Tons of Fun, which would later be changed to The Weather Girls, and they spawned the famous hit that’s been ingrained in our memory, “It’s Raining Men.” Afterwards she went on to supply vocals on notably huge club hits. She was responsible for delivering lead vocals on Black Box’s hits “Strike It Up” and “Everybody Everybody”, as well as four other cuts on Black Box’s album, “Dreamland.” She might be the most known unknown for providing lead vocals on C + C Music Factory’s chart-topping, “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now).”  However, she’s part of this list because she was dogged by the record industry because of her size, and she was so infuriated that she sought litigation and won to have her work credited. In the process, she took a recording contract with RCA to put out her own solo debut, which had this #1 hit, “Carry On.”

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Mahalia Jackson
“I’m Going To Live The Life I Sing About In My Song”
The World’s Greatest Gospel Singer (1954)

Mahalia Jackson is known throughout the world as one of its most revered Gospel singers, and with good reason. Her stirring voice moves people, and even with the first official record she did for Columbia Records, the folks she wowed couldn’t even absorb all the material she’d recorded. However, it was this song in particular that still stands as a mission statement of her life’s work, and a testament to the true talent she possessed. Mahalia was widely criticized by purists for “bringing jazz into the church” along with blues elements which occasionally included foot-stomping and hand-clapping. But there was no doubt or uncertainty about the talent she brought to the world.  This song proves what her life’s work was, to those who detracted early to her work and to all listeners.

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Aretha Franklin
“A Rose Is Still A Rose”
A Rose Is Still A Rose (1998)

While this album was Arista’s attempt at giving Aretha a fresh new take with younger folks, she didn’t really need it. After all, when you look at her catalog, this album was her 36th. Many folks how the album would fare when such names as Lauryn Hill, Sean “Puffy” Combs, Jermaine Dupri, and assorted critics and fans alike began voicing concerns, especially when she’d attempted a similar project in 1986 to mixed results. Regardless though, Aretha began singing as if she had some newfound life in her and spawned a hit with the title track, which is about an older woman giving a younger woman advice on relationship and self-identity issues. While it was the lone music video from the album, it was still the most powerful.

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Adele
“Rolling In The Deep”
21 (2011)

Adele doesn’t tend to hide behind mystery, and if any song is a perfect example of her transparency, it is “Rolling In the Deep.” This is not only a powerful song but also a powerhouse of a hit, which put Adele at #1 for several weeks on Billboard, and as of last tally, helped her sell over 12 million copies of the album. She has broken many records when it comes to sales and awards, but it was the emotion of “21″ that spoke to a lot of people, and much of that was attributed to this single which seemed so inescapable, but also so right. Adele is a woman who’s still very much in control of her image, citing in several magazines how she likes to eat fine foods, and she still looks awesome, and is very much a woman in charge of her own destiny. While it remains unclear when we’ll get another album from her, the fact remains that she’s already accomplished what very few have.

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Janis Joplin
“Me & Bobby McGee”
Pearl (1970)

Recorded before her untimely death at the age of 27, Janis Joplin’s fourth and final album for Columbia was both haunting and harrowing. However, “Pearl” was a monumental feat in and of itself.  She recorded the album with The Full Tilt Boogie Band, and all of the songs written for “Pearl” were personally approved by Joplin. Aside from that, she had quite a few collaborators outside the band, but it was the song “Me & Bobby McGee” which remains her best vocal performance to date. The song was written by Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster, which almost seems like a match made in heaven once people hear the tune and its intricate story.

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Carole King
“It’s Too Late”
Tapestry (1971)

Before Adele took the title, Carole King’s sophomore release, “Tapestry” was widely recognized for staying atop the Billboard charts for 15 consecutive weeks, and widely considered one of the best selling albums of all time with over 25 million copies sold. That’s no easy feat, especially for Carole King, who was both a singer and a songwriter. But regardless, she created a timeless masterpiece especially with the beloved song “You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman)” used in many a television ad and, of course, covered by Aretha Franklin prior to Carole King singing it herself. However it was her tune “It’s Too Late” that was the highlight of the album, its progressive chord structure adding more and more to an emotional and harrowing tune of love lost.

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