Reader Parsley P left a comment a while back that seemed a bit too broad in scope for a comment-back response. So I asked her to drop me an e-mail, which she kindly did. Here’s what she wrote:
A lot of times when people talk about self-love, they mean bodily self-love. I agree that’s important, but it’s also important to like yourself in a more intangible sense. The best word I could come up with to describe that was “personality.” I think I overstated myself in my comment this morning (too little sleep) because I don’t mean to say I hate my personality or who I am. That isn’t true on a day-to-day basis. But sometimes I am overwhelmed by these moments where I feel like everyone is kinder, braver, more confident, and more socially adept than I am. I’m sure this isn’t true and I know logically that it can’t be. I’m also sure this isn’t a problem unique to me. Since I think of personality as easier to change than body image, sometimes I feel pressure to become perfect in a non-physical way. I really want to become secure in myself, but wanting that so badly makes me MORE insecure on the outside. Does that make sense?READ MORE
I love this poem and its amazing author. I’ve watched this video more times than I can count, and it stirs me every single time. This poem challenges the pervasive notion that women must do everything in their power to look as pretty as possible. At all times and at any cost – be it financial, personal, or emotional. Which is, as you all know, utter bullshit.
Before my blog even existed, Erin wrote this amazing post, in which she points out that no woman alive “owes” the world any amount of beautification, but also points out that pretty CAN be a choice. She says (italics her original):READ MORE
I want you to love yourself, today and every day. I want you to see how luminous, breathtaking, and flat-out gorgeous you are, just as you are. I want you to accept your body, and cherish it, and celebrate it with every breath you draw.
But I don’t want you to feel shame when you doubt that beauty or question that body. I don’t want you to find yourself wishing you were taller or bustier, and then spend hours self-flagellating. And I don’t, don’t, don’t want you to feel like a failure when negative body feelings crop up.READ MORE
Originally posted 2010-12-29 06:09:44.
Sally McGraw is a Minneapolis-based freelance writer, blogger, and editor.