beauty

Chic

by Sal on April 5, 2012 · 24 comments

I haven’t yet tackled the subject of chic, though I have shared my thoughts on cool here and here. I think the two concepts are related: It’s tough to be chic without being cool and vice versa. More on that in a moment, but for now let’s focus on chic.

To me, chic implies knowledge of style and fashion. Many chic women may eschew magazines, blogs, and TV shows pertaining to matters of personal style, but those women are likely to have absorbed their fashion knowledge elsewhere: Through design degrees, readings on the history of clothing, or other sources that inform the style-hungry mind. Most chic people understand what looks good on a human form and why. They apply that knowledge to themselves daily.

Chic encompasses a desire to look current. Chic is not necessarily trendy, though it certainly can be. A chic woman may stick to clean, classic pieces exclusively but it’s important to her that they be updated classics – a fitted, modern blazer as opposed to a boxy 80s silhouette. Or, on the flip side, a chic woman may explore hot trends or even set trends herself. But she does so singularly, adding her own twist to popular looks instead of following expert-dictated applications to the letter.

Chic appears effortless. Since nothing in the world is effortless, this is a mirage but it is an appealing one. Chic women are able to craft their looks with meticulous care, yet appear as if their outfits simply fell onto their bodies.

As I mentioned above, I think that chic and cool are entwined concepts. In fact, when I think of chic, I imagine an actual, physical coolness in addition to social coolness. My perception of chic women is that they keep their enthusiasms fairly quiet and prefer to appear a wee bit aloof. Being chic can certainly go hand in hand with being friendly and effusive, but to add the requisite level of coolness it helps to remain somewhat detached. (Or detached-seeming.)

I don’t think of myself as even remotely chic. My sartorial priorities include flattering my figure, expressing my personality, and having fun with my personal style. Since I’m a geeky goofbag by nature, what comes through in my outfits is seldom a deep-seated knowledge of design principles, and virtually never a fresh twist on a hot trend. And although I sometimes long to be chic, the longing is inevitably replaced by a desire to wear cobalt blue slouchy boots or a brown-and-green printed vintage polyester tunic. Possibly together.

What do YOU think of when you hear the word “chic”? Do you consider yourself to be chic? Why or why not?

Images courtesy The Glamourai.

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Already Prettypoll: Nails and Manicures

by Sal on March 7, 2012 · 105 comments

About a year ago, I started paying attention to my nails. I realized that I felt more finished and chic if I had them trimmed and coated with some clear polish. It takes my nails a bizarrely long time to dry and I do NOT have the dexterity necessary to apply color, so I stick to clear.

Once I started maintaining my own nails, I somehow became more attuned to the world of nail care. And it’s a big, expensive, rather competitive world. I’d been immune to it before, but now I feel some pressure to keep my nails looking relatively fancy. Which I resent a bit. It’s not like I do a lot of welding or farming or anything that would make ladylike nails a true problem. But occasionally I’ll hesitate because I’m worried that some random task will ruin my nails. And then I do it anyway because eff that.

Do you feel pressure to keep your nails polished and pretty? What do you feel is the source of that pressure? Do you get regular manicures or do your nails yourself? Is it fun, a chore, or some mixture thereof?

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My Thoughts on Oil Cleansing

by Sal on February 15, 2012 · 93 comments

So. I’ve been using nothing but oil and water on my face since late October. Before I made the decision to do this, I did EXTENSIVE research. Meaning I had a five-minute conversation with Beauty Bets, got her blessing, and dove right in. Because that’s how I roll. And because I figured hey, if it was awful, I’d just stop.

I’ve had problem skin forever; Mostly acne, but also combination dry/oily issues. And although my acne is of the cystic/hormonal kind and absolutely requires more than over-the-counter remedies, recently I began to feel like I should change my cleansing routine. I’d been using Cetaphil face wash and a dermatologist-prescribed topical cream for several years, and the combination just felt … wrong. I broke out fairly regularly, my skin felt a bit sore at times, and I was pretty blotchy.

Then Bets mentioned that many dermatologists recommend Cetaphil because it’s mild, but that it’s just a big chemical cocktail and not actually beneficial in any way. I picked her brain, picked up some oil, and I don’t think I’ll ever turn back.

Why oil?

As teens, we’re taught that facial oils are the enemy, and that mindset sticks. We’re also told that the “shine” of facial oils is unsightly and must be managed. But just as the oils that your scalp secretes are beneficial to your hair, the sebum that your skin secretes is beneficial to your skin. Its purpose is to protect your skin from the outside environment, to prevent harmful substances from seeping into your pores. But for some reason, nobody talks about that. My dermatologist certainly never said anything of the sort to me. And most popular facial cleansers are marketed as“oil free,” and we buy them because of our deep-seated belief that oil is the enemy.

But when skin’s natural oils are removed, our bodies often compensate by producing more oil. So by getting rid of oil, you may be setting yourself up to become oilier. Or, on the flip side, if your skin seems constantly dry, it could be because your natural oils have been stripped away and your body has stopped naturally replenishing them. Some folks cope with these imbalances by skipping cleansers altogether and just splashing with water on occasion. But dirt does accumulate in facial oil over the course of the day, and that needs to be dealt with somehow. Additionally if you wear makeup, you’ll need to get it off eventually.

Certain botanical oils can cleanse your pores of dirt and bacteria naturally and gently, while simultaneously replacing any contaminated oils with beneficial ones. They can also remove some makeup, and add a bit of moisture to your skin. Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? So how do you get started?

Which oil?

Confession: I haven’t done a ton of experimentation. I’ve heard great things about jojoba oil for cleansing, but I’m yet to give it a whirl. I started out just using straight extra virgin olive oil, which worked fairly well, then began mixing it with castor oil. Now that I’ve got my proportions right, I’m loving my blend.

From what I’ve read, the castor oil draws out any lingering dirt and the EVOO moisturizes. During the dry winter months, I’m doing about two-thirds EVOO to one-third castor. Once it finally warms up, I’ll probably do half and half.

This post from Crunchy Betty gives some more detailed info on types of oils, their uses, and ratios.

How do you do it?

Again, there are many ways to use the oil cleansing method, and this is just mine:

When I shower in the morning, I rub about a tablespoon of my oil mixture onto a dry face. I finish my ablutions, and then gently scrub the oil off with a dry towel. Every week or so, I’ll add a bit of my Neutrogena scrub to the oil mix for some extra exfoliating action.

Before I go to bed at night, I rub about a tablespoon of my oil mixture onto a dry face. Then I take a hot washcloth and wipe the oil and makeup off. Then I pat dry with a different, dry towel. I have purchased one washcloth for every day of the week and let them air dry after they’ve been used, then wash in the washing machine once per week. I also rotate dry face towels frequently. This helps a ton!

I find that my oil blend removes cover up, eyebrow pencil, and lip products. I still use a traditional makeup remover if I’ve put on mascara and eye makeup.

Does it feel gross?

Amazingly, no. Before I started doing this, I imagined that smearing a bunch of oil right on a dry face would feel absolutely disgusting. It feels refreshing, natural, and normal. Once I’ve rubbed the oil in, it feels like I’ve just finished washing my face. I mean, washing my face the old fashioned way.

Do you still break out?

I totally do. As I mentioned, I have hormonally triggered acne, so when my hormones get ornery my face goes bananas. My body also really hates it when I eat sugar, and if I go on a candy bender I get a robust crop of zits. But my breakouts are less frequent and less severe, and my skin seems able to recover from them faster.

Does your skin look different?

Yes. But not drastically. I didn’t include before and after photos because the changes are so subtle that a camera is unlikely to pick them up. But my skin is generally less blotchy and more even in tone. I don’t get super shiny … pretty much at all. By 3 p.m. I’ll have a bit of shine going on, but nothing even CLOSE to what I had before I started using oil cleansers. And, as I mentioned, my acne is slightly improved.

My skin also FEELS better. It is both softer to the touch and less irritation-prone.

I know the oil cleansing method is a hot topic of conversation these days, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts! Are you a longtime devotee? A new convert? On the fence? Using a different method and can’t imagine moving to oils? Any resources to share about blends and applications? Tell all in the comments!

Image courtesy Radiant Brown Beauty.

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The Flip Side of Jealousy

by Sal on December 12, 2011 · 36 comments

Comparisons can be risky – even harmful – when it comes to matters of beauty, body image, and self-esteem. Comparing your own traits to those of your peers and friends often leads to confusion and upset. Comparing your own traits to those of strangers and celebrities often leads to dismay and disappointment. And just about every time you compare your figure, face, hair, body, or proportions to those of someone you’ve deemed prettier, sexier, or somehow superior to yourself, you inevitably trigger jealousy.

Jealousy is awful. It’s an energy-sucking, life-draining emotion that often spawns anger and despair. But it’s also an instinct, and a very strong, natural one that’s nearly impossible to eradicate. Hopefully no one experiences it all day, every day, or feels utterly consumed by it … but I’d wager that most people feel a surge every once in a while. So I’ve been thinking about ways to turn that sporadic jealousy around to make it less harmful and more beneficial. I’m wondering if you’re very, very careful, if you can’t extract something positive from comparison-based jealousy. Let’s see what you think of this experimental idea:

When you observe someone who has an absolutely amazing set of curves, you may feel envy. You may wish you had those curves for yourself. You may feel like you’re missing out on something great by having your curves instead of hers. But consider this: Somewhere out in this great, big, diverse world of ours is someone who feels jealous of YOU. Someone has looked at you and coveted your hair, nails, breasts, calves, eyelashes, skin, or smile. Someone has looked at your face, figure, or body, and felt a stab of envy. And that goes for ALL of you, even if you sometimes feel dull or uninteresting. There is beauty in every body, and people recognize it when they see it. And when they recognize it, they frequently envy it.

I am in no way saying that body comparison is wise, nor jealousy healthy. Neither is a productive use of time or energy, especially ongoing. But both the activity of comparison and the experience of jealousy are nearly impossible to avoid, and I just wonder if considering their flip side could be beneficial, at least in terms of gaining perspective.

Because when we feel jealous, we feel it in a very one-sided, infuriating, self-deprecating manner. Stopping to realize that our own beauty may evoke feelings of jealousy in others may feel self-centered or contrived, but it’s a very pragmatic means of remembering that all bodies contain goodness, and all human forms have enviable qualities. Just because you hate your hair doesn’t mean it’s objectively hate-able; Someone else may see your locks and wish to have ones just like ‘em. Just because you feel too old or tiny or fat or hairy to be beautiful doesn’t mean that others look at you and see those things. Someone out there glances at you and sees perfect teeth, utter grace, strong shoulders, or any number of jealousy-inducing qualities that you likely ignore or overlook. You want what others have and malign your own features, but others want what YOU have. They want what you naturally possess, and even take for granted. It’s not the jealousy that’s really important, it’s the gratitude for your own unique body that acknowledging its enviability can bring.

It’s a tricky proposition, this. It may not encourage new body and beauty comparisons – seeing as it harnesses comparisons that you’re already making – but it does give you a reason to hang out in that territory a bit longer than you might’ve otherwise. Then again, if you’re over there feeling envious and making comparisons anyway, having a little mental check to keep things from spiraling downward could be helpful.

What do you think? Next time you find yourself comparing your body to someone else’s and feeling inferior, off, unattractive, or less-than, could you give your brain a little nudge? Remember that someone has looked at you and wished so hard for what you’ve already got? Remember that you’re utterly, beautifully, marvelously enviable, and that’s something to be grateful for? Or does that feel unnatural, or borderline conceited? Would you rather find other ways to minimize or redirect feelings of jealousy? If so, any suggestions?

Image courtesy Thomas Hawk.

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Honoring Your Beauty

by Sal on November 30, 2011 · 22 comments

For many women, the first step in the journey toward positive body image is acknowledging their own beauty. Regardless of size, shape, skin type, hair color, age, height, or any other factors, every woman has beauty and recognizing that fact can transform appearance-related self-esteem issues. But if recognizing beauty is the first step, it’s a doozy; It can take a long time and loads of work to take that step.

Once it’s taken, though, the journey has just begun. And, in my opinion, a great way to keep moving forward is to find ways to honor beauty. Your beauty. Don’t just accept that it’s there, celebrate it, live it, make it integral to your sense of self. Sound daunting? It needn’t, since many of the most effective ways to honor your beauty are ones we talk about right here on a near-daily basis:

Dress joyously

Buying and wearing clothing is a decidedly social activity, but getting dressed can also be about celebrating your relationship with your body. Choosing clothing that reminds you of loved ones, wearing colors that make you smile, picking outfits that help you feel proud of your physical form all contribute to honoring your beauty. If you can find a way to dress joyously, you’ll be amazed by how much doing so will bolster your self-image.

Accept compliments

In a society that prefers its women uncertain, doubtful, and jealous it can feel positively bizarre to acknowledge the truth in a compliment. But depending on how you’re wired, learning to accept the gift of praise from others can help you learn to love and praise yourself. And, regardless, feeling grateful for and accepting compliments is a marvelous way to honor your beauty. It may feel awkward at first, but eventually it will feel utterly marvelous.

Care for your body

With careers, children, social lives, family obligations, hobbies, health issues, charity work, and countless other people and activities competing for our attention, our bodies often get neglected. We eat on the run, abandon exercise and meditation, ignore minor injuries or illnesses, and prioritize just about everything else above body care. Each body is unique, so each body’s definition of care will be unique. But each of us is familiar with that definition for ourselves, and each of us knows when we’ve been slacking off. Care for your body. It is yours to care for, and can only thrive under your ministrations. Your body is part of your beauty, and deserves honoring, too.

In my opinion, beauty is never solely physical. It is mental, philosophical, psychological, and utterly ephemeral. Beauty is more of a feeling than a trait, more of a compound than an element, more than just shiny hair or graceful limbs or striking features. But since the physical elements of beauty are the ones we typically doubt, question, and obsess over, finding ways to honor that beauty can help us to feel more holistically sound.

How do you honor your beauty?

Image courtesy quinn.anya.

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Balancing Earrings with Hairstyles

by Sal on November 16, 2011 · 27 comments

Shown above are my favorite earrings from Infrared Studios. They’re big monsters, as you can see, and I’ve worn them tons since I nabbed them back in November of 2010. The earrings are quite visible in both photos, but it’s a trick. A trick, I tell you! If I hadn’t jammed my hair behind my ear for the photo on the left, you’d hardly have known I was wearing earrings at all.

See? In the outfit shot from that day, you can just barely see some curved metal objects peeking through the hair curtains. These earrings played a very different role in my accessorization life back when I had longer locks.

I’ve been asked to share my thoughts on balancing earrings with hairstyles, and I’m happy to do so … but as always, I’ll be sharing my own preferences and opinions, not anything that I consider to be any kind of style mandate. Every woman’s tastes and preferences will be slightly different, so take from this what suits you and leave the rest!

Learn about your face shape

Earrings interact with hair and hairstyles, sure, but they also play off of face shape. And if you’ve got a really short crop, choosing earrings that work with your own face shape will be key to creating flattering looks. I know that determining face shape can seem well nigh impossible, but this guide is extremely detailed and scientific and should help somewhat. It even delves into some suggested hairstyles.

Once you’ve determined your overall face shape, the main thing you’ll want to bear in mind is that wearing earrings that mimic the shape of your lovely visage will serve to emphasize its dominant characteristic. Women with very long or oblong faces may want to avoid long chain drops, straight bars, and anything that creates an exaggeratedly long vertical line alongside the face. Women with very round faces will make their faces look rounder when they wear circular hoop earrings. All of these visual tricks will be further emphasized if you’re wearing your hair short, so be aware.

Related post:

Keep the balance

With all jewelry and accessories, I believe in striking a balance. Big everything worn everywhere doesn’t work for my style or figure, and doesn’t suit my taste. But I adore big, bold, statement-making jewelry and accessories, so I try to deploy them in a balanced way. This is most often relevant when dealing with jewelry worn around the face: Necklaces and earrings. When I had longer hair, it would obscure nearly all earrings including truly large and eye-catching ones. So I felt comfortable wearing big earrings with a relatively big necklace, like the chunky chain shown above. Even back then, though, I was unlikely to pair my most enormous pair of earrings with my biggest, boldest, most noticeable necklace, and if I was wearing my hair pulled back, I’d be even more mindful of keeping balance. With the pixie cut, it’s almost exclusively one or the other: Big earrings OR big necklace, not both.

This guideline is also helpful in non-hair-related accessorization situations. A huge, wide belt and a statement necklace may appear overwhelming since they’ll sit relatively close to one another.  Depending on your tastes, a chunky cuff bracelet may also appear to compete with a wide or flashy belt. Enormous earrings, however, are unlikely to create imbalance with belts and bracelets because they’re fairly far apart. In fact, large earrings often look better when worn with at least one other large accessory. That’s balance again.

Related posts:

Explore unusual studs

Since I’m keen to keep my collection of big, fun necklaces in rotation, I’ve had to re-think my collection of smaller earrings. I’ve always kept a few pairs on hand – CZ and pearl studs, small hoops – but I’ve found myself seeking out unusual studs. Since my own haircut can skew a bit retro, big, round studs and clip-on reminiscent earrings make me feel a bit too costume-y. But I’ve been wearing my pyramid stud earrings quite a bit, and also love my dichroic glass studs which are small but bright and appear to glow a bit as they sit quietly on my lobes.

Studs are a great option for subdued earring looks, regardless of your hairstyle. But they become key to striking that jewelry balance when you’ve got a pixie or other ear-exposing ‘do.

Those of you with short hair, how do you think about earrings and other jewelry? Is balance key for you? Do you have loads of smaller or stud-like earrings for days when you do a big necklace? Those of you with longer hair, what factors go into your earring choices?

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Natural and Mostly-natural Beauty Products

by Sal on October 21, 2011 · 59 comments

My skin is so sensitive, people. Sometimes I feel like it breaks out when loud music plays nearby, or a passing stranger looks at me funny. For years I’ve described my hair as “a delicate ecosystem,” and although it’s become less finicky in its shortened state it still fusses at me if conditions aren’t totally ideal. And because of my sensitive skin and fussy hair, I’ve spent a lot of time playing with various products in attempts to find what works for my personal body chemistry. And, overall, what I’ve discovered is that natural products work better for me.

I know, ALERT THE PRESS, right? But it merits mentioning because natural products can be prohibitively pricey and many of us hesitate to plunk down the cash. What works for me may not work for you, but if you’ve got any of the same issues I describe you may want to see about nabbing some samples of these products. Because my impression is that even someone hesitant to plunk down cash will do so when presented with a product that actually WORKS on a difficult-to-manage area or problem. So. Let’s dig in.

Boscia Oil-Free Daily Hydration SPF 15 – $36

This product’s primary appeal is its lack of preservatives. Sun protection in an all-natural formula is hard to come by, in my experience, and this moisturizer definitely has some unpronounceables in it. But it DOESN’T have parabens, sulfates, synthetic fragrance or dye, petro-chemicals, or phthalates. And it goes on soft and smooth but never feels greasy, works marvelously on my acne-prone skin, and has been my daily go-to for nearly a year.

The Body Shop Deodry Cool & Zesty Roll-On – $5

I picked this up during a layover at the Philadelphia airport. (Which, incidentally, has the BEST Aunt Annie’s Pretzel shop I’ve ever patronized. And I’ve patronized a lot of ‘em.) I’d been meaning to try a natural deodorant for ages, and as I wandered past the Body Shop I saw they were doing a 2-for-1 deal on these roll-ons. I picked up this one and another scent, and use them both almost daily now. I am both sweaty AND stinky, and will tell you up front that this product doesn’t keep my stink completely at bay. Especially if I’ve done an hour of cardio or it’s 95 degrees and humid. But the light formula keeps me surprisingly dry, and on non-nervous, non-workout days it really does the trick. I’m loving it, and hoping against hope that they don’t discontinue it. (My favorite natural deodorant? A batch of this that Trinknitty whipped up for me. AMAZING.*)

Oribe Curl by Definition Crème - $48

Ugh, I still can’t quite believe that I shelled out this much for a hair product. SO EXPENSIVE. And I even ponied up for the Royal Blowout spray at the same time, as my stylist said the combo would be ideal for my hair. And friends, my hair has never been happier, healthier, shinier, less buildup-free, or easier to manage. Again, these products aren’t entirely natural. I could’ve sworn I was told they were food grade, but apparently that’s untrue. They are, however, paraben-free, color safe, and optimized for protecting hair from harmful UV rays. Both the creme and spray include rich natural moisturizers and essential oils that allow them to sink in and fortify the hair instead of just sitting on top and eventually accumulating into heavy buildup or flakes. My first round of purchases have lasted me for three months and I’ve got at least half of both containers left. I understand that these products aren’t for everyone considering those costs, but had to put in a good word for ‘em. I’m a convert. (And yes, I know it says the Royal Blowout is for heat styling, but it’s a multi-purpose spray, I swear. And so does Richard, my stylist.)

Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmers – cost varies, around $5-$7

I seem to remember several of you being disappointed in this product, but it’s been a standby of mine for YEARS. I have it in Raisin (a deep but subtle brownish-red) and Merlot (a bright fuschia-red) and although I always use them in conjunction with other glosses and colors, they make fabulous base layers for lip color mixes. They smell great, they feel great, and they’re 100% natural with ingredients like vitamin E and coconut and sunflower oils.

The Serum By Elizabeth Dehn – $48

I’m actually a HUGE fan of all the products in the By Elizabeth Dehn line, and use the shea cream on my cuticles and the face mist when I’m feeling greasy and gross but can’t wash my face. They’re all amazing. But the serum is my favorite. It is the most divine smelling concoction of all natural essential oils ever formulated – including shea oil, calendula oil, rosehip seed oil, evening primrose oil, and almond oil – and it does wonderful things for my skin. I use it nightly as an under-eye treatment and it’s made my bags less noticeable. I’ve used it on cuts and scrapes to aid the healing process. I use it just about any time I need intense moisture or healing on any body part at all. It’s like a little bottle of magic, I swear.

Do you use any of these products yourself? Any other recommendations for natural or mostly-natural beauty products?

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Guest Post: The Beheld on Beauty and Visibility

by Sal on September 23, 2011 · 21 comments

My admiration for Autumn Whitefield-Madrano cannot be overstated. I discovered her blog, The Beheld, a few months ago and have been an avid daily reader ever since. She is a gifted writer, and insightful thinker, an outspoken feminist, and a thoughtful critic of all things fashion and beauty, and every post she writes opens my mind and bends my thought processes in the most pleasing ways.

I asked Autumn to write a guest post for me about the conflict between beauty work and feminism and, unsurprisingly, she delivered a fabulous and thought-provoking piece, which you’ll find below. Read on, and do add The Beheld to your reading lists.

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When I was 20 or so, I went out to dinner with my parents at a restaurant they’d been to several times but that was new to me. We walked in the door, and though it was crowded the host spotted us immediately, found us a table, and brought us water right away, all with a friendly smile. I didn’t think twice about this; it was par for the course. After we were settled in, my parents burst out laughing. “We never get that kind of attention,” my mother said. “We need to go out to dinner with 20-year-old women more often.” I certainly hadn’t styled myself in a way that indicated I was hoping for special treatment: I was wearing jeans and a baggy top, with my hair in a ponytail, and though I was pleasant enough to look at, neither were my looks remarkable. So I laughed it off, believing my parents must be exaggerating—surely my presence alone wouldn’t get snappier service.

But that incident has stuck with me over the following 10-plus years. I think of it sometimes when I’m having trouble getting a bartender’s attention, or when I notice that I get it immediately. I wondered if moments like the one we had in that restaurant were the sort of thing people were referring to when talking about women “exploiting their looks”; I wondered if I’d been more of a babe than I’d realized; I wondered what would happen if I ever consciously tried to “get by” on my looks. Recently, though, I’ve realized that the incident wasn’t about how I looked in the least. It was about visibility.

My approach to thinking about beauty with a feminist understanding is based in part on Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth. That is: The beauty work women are encouraged to do serves to keep our energies directed toward the mirror, not the world at large—and while it’s not necessarily unfeminist to do things like shave our legs, neither is our beauty labor a decision made in a neutral cultural vacuum. So when I’ve put mental energy into understanding my own relationship to the beauty myth, I’ve usually focused on what signals I’m sending with my appearance choices. And only recently have I begun to question one of the silent assumptions therein: Just as I looked at my parents quizzically in that restaurant 15 years ago, I still take it for granted today that when deciding what image I’d like to project, I will be seen.

The questions I ask myself about my appearance revolve around the assumption of visibility:How do I create personal style without drawing attention I might not want? How much work am I willing to put into attempting to control how others see me? How much do I really want to be looked at in the first place? While there are plenty of worthy questions surrounding the particulars of the beauty myth—the time spent in front of the mirror, the money spent on creams and potions, the too-high heels, the suck-it-in shapewear—those queries dance around the heart of the issue.

And the heart of the issue is this: Every choice we make about beauty is a choice about being seen. And the more time we spend focusing on the minutiae of beauty, the less time we spend focused on one possible outcome of beauty work—heightened cultural visibility. At one point I believed that my own beauty work was a compromise: I wore makeup and high heels in order to “pass” as someone willing to play by the rules, and because it helped me feel more put-together, better allowing me to do my work in the world. But by seeing my own morning routine as a daily compromise, not only was I living a pretty deep conflict, I was also neglecting to see how much privilege I was taking for granted.

I have the luxury of critiquing the beauty standard in a pretty straightforward manner because in certain ways I’m already a part of it. I’m no great beauty, but I check off many of the “right” boxes of the beauty rubric: I’m a white, able-bodied, middle-class woman whose body falls smack-dab in the middle of the “normal” BMI zone. There are plenty of reasons I’m excluded from conventional beauty—yellowed teeth, bumpy skin, wobbly thighs—but by an accident of birth, I’ve managed to clear plenty of hurdles of the appearance standard. Just by being me, I have a good deal of visibility.

So of course my morning routine became a web of conflict: I could rail against the makeup, the hair, the high heels, the effort, because even without those things I have a reasonable amount of privilege in this world. Now, I can’t claim to speak for people whose visibility is minimized. (Check in with me in 20 years when I’m firmly in middle age; I’ll likely have different things to say about women and visibility then.) But I’m pretty sure that by critiquing the particulars of beauty work, we (okay, I) miss the larger point about how society gives and exchanges power. For if it’s subversive for me to refuse to participate in certain beauty rituals, it can be subversive for women with less cultural visibility to embrace them.

I’ve never bought into the idea that beauty is power; that smacks of patriarchal self-serving nonsense. But visibility is power, or at least a route to it. Seen through this lens instead of solely the lens of beauty, the effort we put into our appearance seems both more important and less fraught with conflict. What would happen if we shifted our intent in our beauty work just slightly so that it wasn’t beauty work, but visibility work? What would happen if feminists arguing for a critique of the beauty standard started looking at the ways that very beauty standard can allow more women to participate in the larger conversation? What would happen if our concern was directed less toward fitting the beauty standard and more toward being seen? After all, the next stop after being seen is being heard.

Image via We Heart It.

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