A Pass

Since you are, no doubt, your own harshest critic.

Since you often look at yourself and see a mass of flaws.

Since your body-centric frustrations seem impossible to shake off.

Since constant self-loathing can exhaust you into depression.

Since permission can be key to unlocking self-acceptance and forgiveness.

Since you are so much more glorious than you realize and so much more worthy than you know, I am giving you a pass.

Today, whenever you look at your thighs and wish they were smaller, look at your wrinkles and wish they were gone, look at your reflection and wish it was different, I want you to think of me. Think of me saying, “YOU! You’re amazing. You are a stunning, luminous creature of beauty and there is no one else like you in this big, beauty-filled world. I see exactly how gorgeous you are, and I celebrate you.”

And if that’s too long-winded, just stick with, “You’re amazing.”

Because you are. And the more you practice dismissing those self-inflicted body critiques, the easier it will become to acknowledge and accept just how amazing you are. The more you practice rerouting negative self-talk, the easier it will become to love your body just as it is. The more you practice kindness toward your physical form, the easier it will become to feel radiantly beautiful every single day.

I’m giving you a pass today. But maybe tomorrow you can give yourself one.

Image courtesy Dyanna.

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  • Excellent post!!!

  • Well said….this was the topic of my post yesterday, because I chose to ask women what they see when they look in a mirror…it was mostly negative comments. It is possible to turn that around…I know…because I did.

  • Laurie

    Your blog is good for the soul – YOU are amazing!

    • Exactly what I was going to say!

  • C’estChic!

    Thank you for these words, Sal. Just what I need on this rainy, gloomy morning. Makes me happy to think about how many other women you will also be uplifting! Have a wonderful day … TK!

  • Jen

    Funny you posted this today. Just the other morning I went through one of those “everything I put on makes me look worse than I feel, wish I just could wear a potato sack and be done with it” days. Then I was sitting with a friend who I think is stunning all of the time and she told me how much she loved my hair and wished hers would look like it. I started to sit up straighter, smile a bit wider, throw my shoulders back, and felt my spirit lift. I try to make it a point to not just think “I love her (_____)” but to tell whomever I’m admiring that I feel that way. You never know if today is the day they desperately need “A Pass”!

  • Marj

    This is just what I needed today! Thank you, Sal!

  • Sunny

    Thank You!

  • Fruitful

    Thank you Sally. You are not only amazing, you are also lovely.<33333333333

  • Well said, Sal. You are pretty darn amazing yourself! Do you read The Frenemy? She has a funny post on insecurities that reminded me of you and all that you do:


  • Becky

    Thank you, Sal! I think I need to print this out and put it where I can see it.

    (Can you convince other people to give me a pass, too?)

    By the way, you are amazing and gorgeous and stylish and fabulous!

  • Jen

    Last night at my eating disorders support group, the topic really hit home. I was crying as I wrote but it all comes down to feeling unworthy. I need a pass from that today.

  • Lovely. Thank you, Sal.

  • All of those things – how did you know? Did you crawl inside my head and see my deepest, darkest secret fears?

    Thank you so much for this. This post made me tear up (in a good way!).

    • – Tessa

      Me too! Sal, you touch my heart often.

  • KT

    Love this!

  • Darra

    Thanks Sal. You are a real inspiration to me. My clothes were so blah and not something I worried about much until I started reading your blog recently. I have been able to mix things up and accessorize much more by following your tips. And thanks for the affirmations, too!

  • Yes yes yes! I’ve tried to write about this topic before. (Twice, actually: http://www.closet-coach.com/2010/06/15/theres-nothing-wrong-with-your-body/ and http://www.closet-coach.com/2009/09/02/be-the-body-you-are/).

    But you’ve said it in a way that’s gentler and kinder and more inspirational than I did. Kudos!

  • Thanks. Needed that…

  • Megkathleen

    I’m usually just a lurker, but I had to de-lurk today to say thank you. I really needed a pass today.

  • Paulina

    <3 Thank you.

  • Mercy

    thank you, much appreciated- ditto also a lurker

  • Thank you so much, this was important for me today.

  • Wow, thank you Sal. This post is the reason I continue to read your blog (and am prob your biggest fan – there, I said it.) You inspire and encourage me to challenge all those little negative voices in my head. There are very few mornings when I wake up and am truly happy with how I look, but I am determined to heed your words and grant permission to be gentle and kind to myself. I truly appreciate who you are and what you bring into the world.

  • Stephanie

    Thank you for this 😉

  • This is being tagged in my browser – what a powerful reminder to love ourselves, even when it’s hard to! Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙂

  • Devin C

    Well said. This is amazingly well put. Thank you

  • Su

    Seriously, you’ve brought me to tears. Good ones 🙂

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  • Cel

    Thank you! That actually hit very close to home *hug*

  • Julie

    Wow. I sat and re-read this post 3 times. Then I sent it to my daughter. Thank you for posting this.