Occasionally, I’ll work with a client who feels like she’s starting from square one. She doesn’t know what she wants to look like, how to flatter her figure, or really anything about how she wants to begin carving out her personal style. The first question I always ask is this: What do you love about your figure? What about your body makes you feel proud, strong, and gorgeous? And then we figure out ways to dress her so those features are highlighted as often as possible.
So I’d love to hear from you, even if you know what you want to look like AND how to flatter your figure!
What do you love about your figure? What about your body makes you feel proud, strong, and gorgeous? Do you dress to accentuate those features? If so, how? If not, why not? (Some features/aspects may not be accentuate-able with clothes!)
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
I think my favorite feature is my hair. My second favorite feature is my tiny waist.
I love big shoes, as they draw contrast with my thin legs and my curves
I’m looking for the perfect sneakers right now.
My legs. They are strong and muscled and curvy in all the right places, and I am very happy to show them off. Knee-length skirts are my favorite, though I do have some trouble balancing that out on my top half. My shoulders also make me happy – wide and also strong, they have a beautiful slope that makes them very elegant looking (IMO). My trouble there is showing them off without showing off my upper arms, which I am decidedly not pleased with. I’m also very fond of my eyes, though there’s not much I can do with clothing to show them off.
I have blue eyes, and they definitely look bluer when I wear blue. They also look bluer when I wear green, interestingly enough. I imagine that green eyes look greener when green is worn. Some brown eyes have amber highlights, and if I had them, I’d sure work towards bringing them out. If you love your eyes, I suggest that you consider what colors bring attention to them.
I am very fond of my size. I like being tall. I like having broad shoulders. I haven’t always been, but since my 20s I’ve pretty much reconciled to being large for a girl and feeling badass around it. It’s actually an identity that one can build around. I can go big with color and pattern and accessories and it all looks “to scale”.
What an interesting idea! What do you like about yourself? Hummm, I love my legs. I like to show them off, but since I am only 5′ 4″ and have a long torso I like to make my legs look longer, and my waist shorter. This I do with layers, scarfs and color matching. I can’t wear shoes that are a different color then my legs… I look cut off. I also get to wear shorter skirts and dresses, because I have great legs!
I am also pretty, not in your face pretty, but pleasantly pretty. So even as I’ve aged I take care of my face. I moisturize, I use sun block, I apply makeup lightly. I have done this my whole life, and frankly at 53, I look better then some 30 year olds. I have arthritis and have gone months without being able to raise my arms to put on makeup, but I still managed to moisturize and put on some blush.
My DH keeps me motivated, and I know he could careless if I brushed my hair, but supports my need to look nice. It helps to have someone in your life who thinks you are beautiful every day.
I love my torso – waist, chest, shoulders, and back. I always wear fitted tops and keep my hair short so as not to cover that part of me up!
Though I used to be annoyed by the fact that I’ll never be small and dainty, I’ve grown to like the fact that I have wide shoulders to balance off my wide hips and I can wear maxi dresses without worrying about them making me look short and squat. I’m fairly proportionate, regardless of my size. I have long, muscular legs and like wearing skirts and dresses to show them off. And I have kick-ass hair, which hairdressers have complimented and occasionally envied.
I like my legs. They are slender but shapely, with smooth flat muscles. I wear a lot of skinny jeans and skirts to show them off — even a slightly below-knee skirt will show your calves to great advantage, especially if you’re wearing heels. They don’t have to be towering heels. I also like my arms, so I wear a lot of sleeveless and cap-sleeve tops. I still have a good bust, not too big or small and nicely-shaped, and almost no “back fat” (gee, I hate that term but I don’t know what else to call it) so I can wear figure-hugging tops and feel good in them. My upper torso is very lean. I also have lovely thick hair.that falls around my face in loose chestnut curls. I’ve tried the pixie a few times, and I’ve also gone through stages where it’s long and I’ve spent hours with the flattening iron, but really my hair and face look better if I don’t fight nature. Thick curly hair, when straightened, always *looks* straightened. Left to its own devices, it’s really pretty.
What a good exercise! Now I feel good about myself.
You know I like a lot of things about myself.
In photographs, I think my eyes stand out if it’s a good picture.
I like my breasts. When I need a boost for a social occaion, I’ll find a way to highlight my bust and hide my belly.
I like my legs, they are nicely curvy and strong without being impossible to buy boots for.
I like my eyes. I think they can be playful and sexy and send naughty looks to my husband from across the room.
It took me weeks, maybe months, of thinking about this to come up with something that I loved about my figure – and I finally realized that I like my neck, and the curve of my neck to my shoulders. I also like being tall-ish, and like that my body is proportionate in the vertical dimension (My waist is just a tad long, like my height, my legs are also just a tad long, like my height).
I’m glad to hear that your client also has to start out with the very basics – I’m still completely floundering, but I feel more confident now that I know some part of my figure that I like to emphasize. Maybe someday soon I’ll have some idea of what styles I like and how I actually want to look
…what would you have done if she didn’t have an answer to that question?
That’s where I’m starting at – I don’t really have any sense of anything I want to show off. I certainly don’t hate the way I look. That would require me to care at all, and I’m more indifferent. I’m one of those live in your head types, where my body is just the thing I ride around in (never understood why that’s supposed to be bad?), so I just try to dress it as tidily, appropriately, and comfortably as possible, and dress in things that I feel pretty in (generally meaning “I made an effort and people can see that I tried”), because I somehow can’t really make sense of my own appearance in the mirror these days. No point in looking when nothing looks like *you*…
I could have written exactly that. You said it better than I would have.
I had to think about this one. I´m not displeased about much body-wise, but not really that happy about a particular bit, either. Or, perhaps my hands, they are unusually shapely and competent. I haven´t thought about that much in 15 years though, since becoming allergic to nail polish and in later years getting eczema under rings. I am starting to experiment with wearing scarves as watchbands, though, to get away from the boring Casio digitals. I suppose that draws attention to the hands. I don´t really do manicures, but am religious about handcream and nail length. I will have to think more about this.
Hmmm…interesting question.
My hair for sure. Lots of texture.
My ankles are slim, kind of. At least not swollen like many ladies my age have. Tea length skirts and heels look great on me, and long-ish capri pants. Regular slacks look *terrible*! I wear capris and peep-toes as long as I can into the fall.
Once it snows I have to give in and go to the skirts. Capris in the snow just look ridiculous.
I like my chest and my waist. The problem is, dressing in a way that accentuates these on a short girl with short legs, curvy thighs and a flat stomach ends up looking a bit boobtastic. High necks make them look disproportionate, low necks give too much cleavage. It’s nice to be an hourglass but I can forget anything dainty or anything with slim sides that hang open (such as cardigans that don’t have fastenings so aren’t meant to meet) as they just sit either side of my boobs and “frame” them even more!
This makes me think of the bit on the UK version of How to Look Good Naked (I watched it free on Hulu) where they take a picture of a normal woman with confidence issues in her underwear, blow it up, post it in public, and ask passersby what her best features are. The women always seem shocked when strangers say nice things about their bodies. It seems like a very useful lesson, though I don’t know about the best way to implement it outside of a TV show. Sometimes you need outside perspectives on yourself to figure out what your best features are. Maybe take a poll from the woman’s friends and relatives?
I love that I can go braless if I need to, and in the summer I embrace the triangle bikini top and other lined tank tops when it is too hot and humid for a bra. I love clothes that show off my collarbone area and I look for interesting necklines that fall somewhere between crew necks and deep plunging necklines. I’m always thrifting for them and I can’t get enough. I love my butt, and I’m not afraid to wear clothes that show it off, provided that they skim over my thighs.
There’s also something to be said for taking a body part you’re not particularly proud of and making it look fabulous. I don’t love how my bare legs look lately, but throw a pair of tights on and give me a nice pair of boots and a flattering skirt a couple inches above the knees, and my legs become amazing. If you can find the right clothes to get you over a particular insecurity, you might find that the body part you don’t like on its own is actually an asset.
I’m realizing this is a tricky question for me because I have perhaps succeeded more than I realize in trying to not focus on positives or negatives of my body, and more just on WHAT IS and working with that. So I am short and hourglassy, which works quite well in some ways and not as well in others. I recognize that sometimes people comment on my blue eyes, my husband likes my curves, I like how my legs look when I’ve been running a lot, whereas I’m not always crazy about the size of my derriere or stomach or how toned or not toned my upper arms are. But somehow the “positives” implies there is a flip side of the coin that involves the “negatives”, and I’m trying not to go down that road.
I like my face, collar bone area and ankles. So, I tend to wear a lot of v-neck and scoop neck tops, dress pretty plainly and put more attention to my makeup than clothing. I’m trying to develop more style but my body image needs some work.
dustwindbun, I’d say there’s nothing inherently wrong with not having a favorite part and dressing to flatter it. I spent a lot of years feeling like a disembodied mind, and it’s fine– we can go years like that. But it does strike me as shortchanging yourself just a little. I think that once you see your own ability to do something wonderful, something that is distinctly grounded in your body (walk/explore/run/make love, etc…), you start to think about what’s below your neck as a bit more connected to who you are. That might lead eventually to seeing your body as an opportunity for sartorial self-expression, or it might not. That’s not really important. But I do worry a little that you feel disconnected with your own image. That sounds — and I’m speaking from experience here — like some kind of ennui or depression…
Interesting topic! I like my slim ankles, eyes, broad shoulders (most of the time) and my great natural fingernails!
I am in a place in my life right now where I like just about everything about my body. That said, I love my upper body: my small waist, flat stomach and toned arms. I am drawn to fitted (not too tight!) tops with cap sleeves or tank styling, as well as dresses that are fitted through the bodice.
Thanks for the opportunity to stop and think about what I love about my body. It was a good reminder of my fitness/body love journey and how far I have come.
I was thinking about this the other day. I’m a full on pear (32-26-39!) and for years I hid my thighs and hips as much as possible. Now I’m backpacking and for weight reasons I packed short lycra running shorts and not long leggings for my runs. It’s been really difficult for me to feel comfortable outside with my legs on display, but now I’m starting to feel fine about how muscly they are and that I’m strong enough to tackle the San Francisco hills! If I have a moment of doubt I focus on my arms and shoulders and how slim and toned they are.
And I am vain about my ‘Zooey’ hair and big, amber eyes
I like being curvy and petite. Just 5 feet tall, but I think I’m nicely proportioned. I have nice boobs and I’m proud of them. I have a tummy, so I use things like scarves to either create a long vertical line, or draw eyes back up. I also have great legs, especially in the summer with a tan. I don’t wear capri’s because I think they make me look quite stumpy. Long skirts make me look like I am hovering! I am just recently discovering my personal style and can’t quite define it, but I am learning to know it when I see it!
I love that I have fairly big breats. The most important reason is that even when I’m packing a bit more tummy fat my it doesn’t show quite as much. A nice side effect is that without too much effort I can look sexy- and if I don’t accentuate my waist I look dowdy, which can sometimes be a good thing too.
And my tiny feet and baby hands- they’re so cute
Wow, interesting question. When I first read your blog this morning (first thing I usually do when I get in the office) I couldn’t think of one thing I like about my body (really, not one thing). No one else had responded yet, so now I came back and see what everyone said and ok – maybe there are a few good parts, eyes, hair, nails – not much to define a style. Thank you for making me think about it though…..
I love my hair and my unnervingly youthful skin/face for my age (46). I love what my body can do (despite being obese I ride my bike to and form work several days per week and have more cardio endurance than most people who look far skinnier). I like my strong, firm calves (even if they make buying boots a nightmare) and shapely ankles.
It’s interesting to pay attention to what others compliment you on, because what they like might not be what you like. Or maybe they’ll point out things you’ve never thought about. My husband likes my curves/pear shape, but I have always wanted a ballerina body, tall, slim, and graceful. (Like Kate Middleton, instead of Alicia Keys, who is usually the example for pear/hip-flattering clothes in magazines). When I was down to my goal weight, I was closer to the body type I love, and enjoyed it. Then for various reasons I gained back some weight, and hate those curves. People have often pointed out that I have full lips, but I’ve never really understood the whole lip plumping thing, so it doesn’t matter to me either which way. You can’t really dress around them anyway, other than wearing lipstick/lip gloss.
The one thing, well two things, my husband and I both think are attractive are my small waist, which I accentuate with A-line skirts or dresses and belts, and my blue eyes/dark hair combo. When I wear blue tops people always pay me compliments.
I actually like my feet quite a lot, and my hands as well. I like the curve of my thigh, and I like my skin tone. I also like the color of my eyes, but that one seems like that’s always the fallback answer when someone doesn’t know what else to say about their body.
I love my legs! I enjoy wearing heels and skirts.
Like other commenters, I don’t really have a part of my body I like to show off. I prefer to dress in whatever makes me comfortable – nothing tight on my arms, neck, or hips. Shoes that are below 2 inches. And whatever will keep my temperature temperate. Those rules come first then style and color second. I know what shapes are more eye-pleasing on myself, like knee length pencil skirts, but I like full longer skirts, they’re more comfortable.
My legs, my hair, and my height. I’m very tall, and dress to accentuate that fact, along with making sure I stand up straight, hold my chin up and walk with a long, confident stride. Oh, I also like my wrists, and almost always push my sleeves up and wear bracelets to draw attention to them.
I love being tall and long-legged and dress to accentuate it.
I have my beefs and nitpicks with most other body parts, but in general I like my blue eyes and light hair and reasonably balanced proportions that let me fit into most off the shelf clothing pretty well (as long as the pants come in tall!).
Really, honestly, only my cleavage. I was always small-chested until after years of gaining weight, my bra size changed for the better (in my opinion anyway), so now that I have luscious breasts I focus on tops or dresses that look good with my cleavage and flatter the rest of me. Since I’m so overweight right now, it’s nice to have one area to feel good about.
Not a specific body feature per se, but I have good posture. Walking into a room with elegant carriage makes me feel strong and powerful, no matter what I’m wearing.
I have somehow learned to like my actual shape/silhouette, so even when I’m not exposing calves or decolletage or whatever, I actually like the way I look. That’s a new one for me.
I like my breasts, even more now that they’ve gotten smaller (when I lost weight). It gives me a wider range of neckline options without having to worry about overexposure. When I’ve been diligent about working out, I really love being able to see muscles in my upper body. And I actually love how pale I am, though sometimes it’s a pain to try to stay that way.
I like my tiny wrists and enjoy showing them off with unusual bracelets and watches. I also wear a lot of three-quarter length sleeves.
I have recently returned to painting my nails and I love how elegant they make my hands looks. They also make me feel like my “before children” self when I had time and energy to care for my nails.
Having been through this process with you…I went back and reflected on what I wrote. I wanted to downplay my curves a bit – because they are plentiful! But now that I have more tools at my disposal, I have to say, that I’ve grown to love, or at least appreciate the curves more than I did a few months ago. This is what I have to work with so I could fight them, or love them. It’s easier to love than to hate… and I thank you, sweet Sal!
Thanks for the link Sal! I’m spending an hour in your town on Friday morning as I fly through from Des Moines on my way to San Fransisco
This is in flux for me, right now; six months into a program of weightlifting and nutritional changes, my body is different than it’s ever been before, even when I was a teen. Not so much thinner – but my legs have real muscle tone, my arms are starting to catch up, and my waist is more defined. Honestly, just today I had the thought – I’m so used to shopping for clothes to hide what I don’t like about my body, I have no idea what to buy to show off what I do like! There wasn’t enough, before (save for my coloring, which I do enhance as best I can.)
How do you show off “slightly more toned” without just showing more skin? And my favorite thing about my body’s change – the fact that I am now so much stronger and have more endurance – isn’t something clothes can display.
Hmm, interesting question! I like my long neck and collarbones so I don’t typically wear scarves although sometimes they are fun (and warm). I really like to show off my wrists so I either push long sleeves up a little or look for bracelet-length and 3/4-length sleeves whenever possible. When I was younger I wished for curves and I admire the hour-glassy women I see around me, but the body I have feels like me and I am grateful to have it.
I like my legs, and I like my cleavage. I also like my toes- I think they’re cute!
My height. I’m 5’11. Of course in Junior high and high school I hated it but as an adult I’ve come to love being tall. It does make me feel strong, proud and attractive to be tall. Second would be my hair. It’s pretty long and I’ve always been complimented on it.
I have always liked my legs, which are slender yet curvy and have remained that way despite any weight gain or loss. I like to show them off with shorter hemlines despite the fact that we over-40s are “not supposed to”.
I also like my long neck, which is the perfect vehicle for the long scarves, cowl necks, and high collars that I love to wear.
Excellent question, since we are usually biased toward negativity about our bodies.
I really like my hair; it is long and curly. A couple of years ago,I met a hairdresser who knows how to deal with curly hair, and who turned me on to some wonderful products and techniques that have eliminated frizz and that Rosanne Rosanadama look.
My legs are long and muscular from bicycling and running and I accentuate them by wearing knee-or a little above-the knee skirts. At 60, I don’t like to wear skirts too short, which would be like mutton trying to be lamb.