The older I get and the longer I write a style blog, the more I hone my grooming skills. I mean, it’s not like I was wandering the streets streaked with dirt and sporting a giant rat’s nest atop my head, but I didn’t know how to apply mascara in 2008, didn’t know how to wear blush in 2009, and just recently learned how to flat-iron my hair. I still can’t do a proper smoky eye and am stymied by actual lipstick (I’m a gloss girl), but I’m learning. Slowly.
I will tell you, though, that as we near the end of yet another summer I am still baffled by the “rules” that seem to surround fashionable nails. Truly and completely baffled, friends. I have decent nails that get bright white tips naturally, and I generally just swipe some clear polish on them. But I heard recently that French manicures are so passé, and I generally look like I’ve just gotten one. AND. According to the various and sundry magazines I read, it is also frowned-upon to match your manicure and pedicure. Not only that, but my field research leads me to believe that stylish women are expected to coordinate their polish colors to their outfits. I am perfectly happy with my hot pink toes from May to September, but apparently I am a laughingstock for my relentlessly boring choices.
I am giving myself a migraine as I type this …
Now you all know, I’m no stickler for style rules. They are merely guidelines and should be ignored and subverted at will. So I will not succumb to nail-related pressures for many reasons. And they are as follows.
- I cannot afford regular professional mani-pedis. (Also I have paid for several and NEVER gotten a good one.)
- Since I have to do my own nails, they generally look like this:
- I do not have the time, money, or inclination to swap out polish colors on a daily basis.
- As a dyed-in-the-wool matchy-matchy gal, the prospect of coordinating finger and toenails that “go, but don’t match” makes me feel all twitchy-like.
And so I must consult you, wise readers. Can anyone explain to me how these nail rules arose? Does anyone abide them? Lovingly and willingly? (Some women take great pleasure from the ritual of polishing nails!) Grudgingly and resentfully? (Some don’t!) When did maintaining your nails become so complex? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???!?!@?$??