Strength can take so many forms. It can be the months of training that help you run a marathon. It can be the meticulous preparation that supports you as you defend your thesis. It can be the powerful mantra that shores you up as you confront a bully. It can even be the ass-kicking boots or sharp-shouldered blazer that make you walk tall and hold your head high on a day that hands you crisis after crisis.
Nearly everyone in my life is strong, but they draw upon diverse sources for their strength and express it in very different ways.
What makes you strong?
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
Confidence in myself
Having my own agenda (professional and personal) makes me strong.
Training for my first half marathon made me feel like I could accomplish anything! As an asthmatic, I never thought I could run. Then I started running a few years ago, simply to get in shape quickly. I started running some 5Ks, then 10Ks, and then the half marathon. My lungs are so much stronger, my legs are strong, and the knowledge that I can do things I never thought possible gives me the most strength. That, and a steady spiritual practice, makes me feel like I can handle anything life throws at me.
Absolute ditto. Running is an amazing activity for feeling like you can take on the world.
Congratulations on your first half!!
Thanks! Congrats to you, too!
a positive attitude!
As a disclaimer, I know talking about religion makes some people uncomfortable, so I mean this only for me, and not as a comment on how other people should live their lives. That said, my faith is one of the biggest things that gives me strength. It helps me acknowledge my own weakness and powerlessness in some situations, which is actually a very enpowering thing. There are so many things in life that we just can’t control, and having faith helps me to be strong in those situations. On certain days when I know I’ll be facing something tough, I like to wear a small piece of religious jewelry as a kind of talisman, and that gives me a feeling of strength.
Sartorially, tucked-in button-ups (that fit more like men’s shirts, with some blouson action happening above where they’ve been tucked in) make me feel powerful. I feel like my body is less “on display”, and also that I am comfortable, capable and professional looking.
Thank you for this.
I am of these atheists who get “uncomfortable” when religion is brought up, although I have been brought up religiously by someone (my mother) whose faith I respect immensely. It’s a part of her and a part of her which makes her better, but like you she is accepting of other paths as well.
In addition to feeling judged by some vocal religious extremists, it always saddens me that their voice sometimes seems to cover that of my mother and other good people like you. So thank you for speaking up for them. It’s a shame that you have to frame your message with a disclaimer, but it speaks to your sensitivity (and realism!) that you do. Just as is the case with beauty, we need diverse voices in ethics, I believe, and it’s wonderful to hear yours.
Thank you!
My positive attitude and my innate stubbornness are what make me strong.
My jiu-jitsu training!
It’s given me immeasurable confidence in my life, physical and mental strength and direction. It’s kind of been a gateway for me to get into more athletic things, including introducing me to Crossfit, running etc.
Also my spiked boots from Buckle, I’m trying to find a way to incorporate them into summer wear, but they sure do make me feel like a badass.
My confidence in my abilities. I am not one of those people that think, “I can’t do that”. I think, “If I really want to do that and put in the effort, I can do that!” If I have a passion for something and want to do it, I know that I can figure out how to do it. It’s all about putting in the time.
Throwing barbells as heavy as my body over my head makes me strong, and not just in the obvious way. It makes me strong enough to overcome my tired muscles and train. It makes me mentally strong in that I have to be tough enough to overcome my brain’s automatic reaction to want to avoid dropping under the barbell after the pull off the ground. It makes me strong enough to be confident in a very, very unforgiving singlet even if I still do have a tummy pooch. It has made me strong in that I have to stand up in front of a large group of people and pull it all together and perform the lifts, in that moment. It makes me strong in that I have to deal with being a woman in a masculine arena, I have to be strong to deal with being called “unfeminine” or a “she-hulk” (I am neither of these things).
Yeah I can clean & jerk 60kg and that’s physically strong, but weightlifting has made me strong in many other ways too.
My ability to see people as people before I see them as “Professor This” or “Chief That Officer” has always made me strong.
Sartorially, smoothness makes me strong: when everything around me flows and projects simplicity and fluidity, I feel free.
Many things or qualities make me strong:
I am physically strong–renovating my back yard almost single-handedly, lugging around wheelbarrows of soil and bags of cement.
I am strong in my convictions–my family calls it being stubborn (I prefer the word “persistent”); I strongly believe that we should live how we choose regardless of others’ opinions, i.e. “live and let live” is my mantra
I am a strong woman–is there any other kind?
Love makes me strong. I love my family, I love my friends and I love myself. And I understand that saying you love yourself often comes out narcissistic but it’s quite the opposite really. I love myself knowing good and well I am NOT perfect. But I am more than enough and that’s something to cherish.
People make me strong. When I’m with somebody whose life (or day) I can improve, I am at my best.
The thing is that nowadays I do not really feel strong – yes, I have very strong opinions, but as a person … I used to draw strength from a rigid position, from surrounding myself with a shell and being “hard”, but I learned through therapy that this is not really a good way to go through life, neither for me nor for the others. So I’m still searching for an alternative…
Honestly, sweet Sal, roller derby makes me strong… not just because it’s great exercise – that’s a total given. I feel empowered by this because I skate with women who are all ages, shapes and sizes. Our teachers train us well and make us all feel great. Aside from the external reinforcements, derby forces me to ONLY focus on what I’m doing in the moment. Allowing my mind to wander will simply cause me to wipe out or hurt myself. That time for personal focus repairs what gets “bruised” in my daily life of taking care of others. It makes me whole.
LOVE it!
Ass-kicking boots, definitely! Wearing a piece of jewelry that belonged to my mom or grandmother or great-grandmother gives me strength. Striving to be prepared for whatever each day brings and the love of my 2 boys and husband. Their love and my love for them give me strength when times get tough.
Getting older makes me strong. I am less inhibited and more apt to be myself…very empowering!
And like a previous commenter, my faith helps me.
Knowing I am not alone. Be it in spirit or with people….somebody somewhere has already dealt with a similar struggle and made it through……I CAN make it to the other side of what ever life throws at me!!
My brain and all the knowledge it contains makes me strong. I realized at about age 17 that I would just never be the most beautiful woman in a room, but I could be the smartest. Even now I would much rather be complimented on my intelligence than on my appearance.
The other thing that comes to mind for me is hiking…hiking makes me strong. I feel strong and beautiful and accomplished when I am covered in sweat and dirt, smell like bug spray, and have on my trusty hiking boots. I have never been an athletic person and sports are not my bag, but hiking makes me feel indomitable.
Oh, that’s a good one, I love hiking as well, and it makes me feel strong and be at peace with myself and nature!
I just defended my thesis! Raaar! <— Noise indicating strength.
WOOOHOOOOOOOOO! GO CAROLYN!!!
Thanks so much! Your posts provided a fun and much-needed change in reading material from papers on Genetics while I was working on my thesis.
With my shiny new PhD, I got a job working from home. So, I’m especially excited when I see a post on tips for making that transition.
My losses have made me strong. There have been personal losses, material and human, that by hurting me horribly have made me more accepting, given me the feeling that I am one of many with similar experiences. By dampening my individualism I have somehow become my stronger self.
The ability to (eventually) learn from my mistakes, and to forgive myself when needed, and to ask for forgiveness when not.
The love and support of my friends and family.
My faith in God.
An ass-kicking session of sparring class at tae kwon do.
An amazing, flattering outfit.
Sometimes in this order. Sometimes all at once. (OK, maybe not the outfit and tae kwon do!
Cumulative life experience. I’ve loved, lost, succeeded and failed. Every single one of those experiences only make you stronger.
The fact that I have fought the anxiety of wondering how I’m going to pay my bills, day after day, for over 3 years now. There have been so many tears, and I may have 3 more years to go with this, but I’m still here. Still fighting.
And something I just discovered a few weeks ago: Group cycling / spinning classes at the gym. The first time I think I kept up for maybe 5 minutes, and I was so sore that it hurt to walk for 2 full days afterwards. This week I kept up for 15 minutes. How long does it take an addiction to form? I’ve only been 3 times and I think I’m hooked
Pathos. I have a strong sense of right & wrong & fair and I and that is what gives me backbone, I think. I have been called a “moralist” for speaking up when I see people being exploited. I suppose I´m fine with that.
I meant to say ETHOS, obviously. I blame weeks of insomnia under the midnight sun…
Challenging myself – trying things I never thought I would. In the past few years that has included taking up running & participating in races, completing a boot camp class, being more brave with my clothing choices (colors!), and making it through some intimidating situations with my job. Just deciding I’m going do it and giving it a try makes me feel strong.
I never thought I was strong until I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I’ve never felt worse in my life. I have horrible days, but I have good days too. Surviving and fighting this illness every day shows me how strong I can be. On my worst days I remind myself that Lyme and being sick have taught me many things: that I can be strong, I can fight, and that there is always a rainbow after a storm.
Just yesterday, I got home from backpacking some 85 miles in the woods with a group of scouts. The hiking, climbing, burro-wrangling, shooting, trail-building — all of those required physical strength. But the teamwork, the encouragement when people were struggling, and the commitment to the idea that a scout is cheerful, those made me feel strong, too — emotionally, mentally, socially.
What makes me strong is listening to others without having to give my opinion or my advice. What makes me strong is being tolerant. I am learning this.
Dancing. Ballet teaches you to have a dominant presence that fills the room as you dance, but always with grace and a friendly sweet smile. It’s made my body physically fit and my mind be able to intensivly focus on what I want, and how I want to do it. I also have ballet to thank for my straight and true posture, which makes me feel tall and confident. And I also bellydance, which has helped me accept myself as a whole. I love how with bellydancing, it doesn’t matter what age you are when you start, and that anybody with any body type can develop their own personal style of dancing that makes them look and feel beautiful. The empowering lessons I’ve learned from my teachers and having the chance to explore how my body can move outside of straight lines has made me feel more comfortable in my own skin, and feel more free to be “me”,
In terms of clothes, I always tend to love red. Bright red, especially. I have a lot of red shoes, and shirts, but my favorite is my (bright red!) jacket. It’s form fitting and has defined shoulders with an asymmetrical zipper. I love wearing that with jeans, a studded belt, and Doc Martins. Makes me feel badass.
There’s certainly no doubt, lots of adversity in my life and health has made me stronger. Sleep makes me stronger. A lifetime of physical activity in whatever form I can manage. Eating well. Knowing myself. My brain’s ability for logic and critical thinking. An excellent life partner. And as I increasingly come to recognize, the values I internalized from various family members amidst all our faults and dysfunctions: work ethic, honesty, authenticity, loyalty, graciousness, beauty, culture, art, love.
I never really thought about what makes me strong. I just am.
Is it my need to be physically active? I was a swimmer, tennis player, and now I’m an amateur competitive cyclist. At 40 I can still wear my prom dress (although now I need some Spanx to truly pull it off), and miniskirts.
Is it my brain? I’m smart, with an advanced degree from a top university, and am employed in a professional position.
Is it some other personality characteristic? I never let barriers or obstacles stop me. If I want something, I go for it. I am independent, never relying on anyone else to solve my problems.
Is it all of that rolled together? Or is it just dumb luck that I got good health, brains, and many opportunities to achieve my goals?
Lately, ironically, crying has been making me feel stronger. My husband and I are going through some very difficult times, and a good bawl now and then clears my pipes and lets me refocus on the important things.
I also love tying on my steel toed boots. I worked at a gold mine during my college summers, and those boots helped give me the mental power to stomp around the property as a 20 year old female and mentally put me on the level of the other employees.