Lovely Links: 5/6/11

I’ll be participating in the local Pecha Kucha event next Tuesday, May 10, at 7 p.m. at the Bryant-Lake Bowl. The topic for the night is interior/exterior spaces so, as you can imagine, I’m speaking on the look good-feel good connection. The event is free, so stop by if you can!

* * * * *

I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to mention that Bill Cunningham New York was unbearably sweet, completely fascinating, and utterly inspiring. The film is in U.S. theaters now, and even if you’re not a fan of Bill’s contributions to the NYT, my guess is that nearly all style lovers will enjoy this movie. A visual feast and a fabulous story.

Keiko does bright spring colors with a hit of black so beautifully.

Lisa asked her readers, “what makes a lady” long before I did, and an equally lively and compelling discussion ensued. (Cheers, Susan, for pointing this out.)

Another amazing post from Feministe about how often times and generally inadvertently, feminist blogs create conversations in which more energy is spent calling each other out than working toward common goals. A significant response/rebuttal here from the woman whose book sparked the initial debate and several others with varying viewpoints linked at the end of the Feministe post.

Budget Chic rocks her new olive green shirt dress.

Beauty Bets recommends several natural deodorants that actually work. I’m excited to try a few of these myself, as a decidedly stinky girl.

How to stop comparing yourself to others. YES!

Shini is wearing a lace skirt. No big deal, right? Except the lace is patterned with skulls. I swoon.

This post outlines the basics of avoiding online shopping pitfalls.

“I became mortified that I somehow wasn’t allowed to wear perfume, like I hadn’t graduated to that level of adulthood yet. If I put it on, the Perfume Police would break down my door and yell, ‘You don’t have the requisite age or sexiness to smell like that!'”

What’s your most dreaded item to shop for?

Best shopping news of the week: Target’s next designer collaboration will be with Missoni. Wahoo!

I can only aspire to do casual chic as perfectly as Lopi.

This post on bathing suit shopping strategy will help just about anyone, but is especially helpful to those of us with body image hang-ups.

Newly enamored of Lil Chief Honeybee.

In honor of upcoming Mother’s Day, I asked the BlogFrog community do you have any heirlooms from your Mom?

Lady Smaggle gives us two darling videos on how to style curly hair.

Marzipan chronicles her relationship with dieting in honor of International No Diet Day. I saw myself in this post, again and again.

Still completely head over heels for Patty’s style. Please see this and this for examples.

Oh all right, if you insist, you can buy me this dress.

Real Simple offers up some great tips for how to define your signature style. Their steps and recommendations  mirror many of my own!

Here it is: The best advice IN THE WORLD. You’re welcome.

A great list of good things/small luxuries that many of us can afford, even when we’re feeling broke.  (Those YSL platforms were just an example! In my opinion, “good things” covers a lot of ground.)

And from the Department of Random: When Husband Mike made the last 20 seconds of this clip his ringtone, I was, once again, reminded that I’d married wisely.

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  • C.

    The Department of Random has my vote! So great! I will try moo’ing at my phone soon. 🙂

  • Sue

    Yip Yip Martians! All I can say is THANK YOU! Is it weird that I will often chant book book book when a reference is made using the word ‘book’?
    I must search youtube for other ’70s classic ‘street’ clips. This made my day.

  • Thank you dearest, I’m honored!

    I just finished reading the post about perfume and I wanted to say that I’ve been wearing Anais Anais by Cacharel for half my life (since 14 and I am 28). I love having a signature scent and most of all, I love the way people associate this scent with me. Smell is the most powerful way to create memories.

  • PepperToast

    From one stinky gal to another… I have banned antiperspirant from my life even though I am a huge sweater (ha ha that sounds funny, what is the proper word?!) I just kept getting smellier and smellier as I got older. Stink is associated with bacteria and seeing as I had cystic acne on my face and was getting pimples on my chest, shoulders and back, I realized that I most likely had a bacterial overgrowth on my skin. Finally I decided to try to get off all antibiotics and chemicals.

    I have had success with those products. It is the tea tree oil in those deodorants that kills the bacterial in it’s tracks. For even better results, I purchased grape seed oil and added tea tree oil (and some lavender oil) directly to the oil. I use it on my body and arm pits morning and night. The oil helps it sink in and is moisturizing. I find that I am sweating less and I almost never stink. If I do, I just apply some of the purchased deodorant. I think the longer I am off of the chemicals the better it is getting.

    We’ll see how that all that goes when summer hits and I am a dripping sweaty mess however!

  • Sally – Thank you. That post really tormented me, being so tied to my upbringing, and I appreciate the link very much. Susan, thank you also for pointing it out. I hope you both have great weekends.

  • RK

    As a woman of colour and feminist I really take issue with that Feministe article. Instead of recognizing how certain brand of feminism represented by some white women (and please note that I did not say “all white feminists”) tends to ignore race issues and sexual diversity, the article is telling those women who do not fit into the dominant image of whiteness and heterosexuality that becomes associated with feminism to stay silent and not call them out when they are blatantly ignoring the class, racial and sexual oppression that can be very different from a white woman’s experience. And you know what? Working towards a common goal and calling each other out when someone is not being inclusive are not opposites – in fact,doing so makes sure that the “common goal” that feminists are working towards are inclusive towards the diversity of backgrounds that feminism must represent. Instead of examining where her biases are, she chose to blame those that made her feel uncomfortable because they might have made her realize her own blind spots.

    I understand that we’re all human, and that we can’t be perfect in our own activism. But to write this kind of excuse to be okay with those blind spots make many women of colour abandon the label of feminism because it just doesn’t represent their own experiences or their identities.

    This is something I believe in strongly. It’s important to recognize that an idea of having one fixed “common goal” might only work to serve a privileged few.

    • Sal

      Hmm, I think we interpreted this article quite differently. I definitely see the author addressing race, class, and sexuality as factors in the push to get feminists to own their privilege, but having been on the receiving end of feminist call-outs myself I read the overall message to be, “No matter who you are or where you’re coming from, remember that telling another feminist she’s ‘doing it wrong’ is potent and hurtful and should be done sparingly and under dire circumstances.” White feminists call each other out frequently, both for lacking in inclusiveness (usually as pertains to race, class, and sexuality, but not always) and for being too soft on the patriarchy, liking or engaging ANYTHING that makes light of women or our behaviors, self-deprecation of any kind, and the list goes on.

      Also, as someone who has been called out, I know that feminist call-outs often assume the worst. When my readers call me out on something related to body image, style, or shopping, it is generally in constructive, prodding ways that assume positive intent. And I LOVE it because I learn from it, because it feels like respectful dialogue. But the feminist call-outs give me panic attacks, insomnia, the runs. They make me feel like a bad human being, an idiot, a narrow-minded twit. I believe that talking to someone who holds the same ideals as you as if she were an ignorant, malicious villain will have a different effect than talking to her as if she may have had the best in mind but clearly wasn’t examining an issue from all sides.

      I completely, totally, 100% agree that white feminists MUST be inclusive. Another recent Feministe article – equally amazing – is essentially the resignation of a contributor who is both a woman of color and disabled: http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/04/26/the-time-has-come-the-walrus-said-to-talk-of-many-things/ And she says outright that she’s leaving because the white feminist majority readership of the site dismissed her ideas and issues as irrelevant, which surprised and appalled me when I read it. But the effect is the same: Women who write about feminism on blogs are being so harshly judged and critiqued by their feminist readers that they FEAR writing about feminism and want to stop. Chally has actually stopped because she got called out for not being mainstream enough. Jill has considered stopping because she got called out for “doing it wrong.” If we silence the voices who attempt to keep feminist dialogue open because they’re not doing it exactly how we think they should, we may be left only with the voices of our oppressors. I believe there are ways to level constructive feedback and demand more inclusive perspectives without cowing smart, insightful, brave writers into misery and resentment. And retirement.

      • RK

        Sal, I understand that feminist call-outs can be a bit jarring, and it can be hurtful. tAnd I will reveal my bias that I am one of the readers who has stopped reading Feministe because I believe it doesn’t really represent the diversity I feel is necessary in feminist voices today.

        While I understand that people feel threatened, to me it signals a failure when a post like that gets written, because to me it says Jill is unwilling to look beyond her own feeling of discomfort to acknowledge to actually empathize with the women of colour’s positions, or acknbowledge the kind of privilege she has in the feminist blogosphere. The comments may be angry because they feel frustrated that they haven’t been represented anywhere. And maybe they’re impatient, maybe they’re angry. But assuming the superiority of “logic” (or politesse) over emotion (of “anger” which are often attached to women of colour) also come from aposition of privilege – after all, it’s easy to be logical and rational when your identity or position have been secured.

        Those call-outs are made in a less privileged form of “angry comments” as opposed to a more legitimate form of a blog post or an article that Jill has been able to do here. That anger of those call-outs might feel threatening, but it also comes from many years of silence they felt that even inclusive frameworks like “feminism” could not afford them. And maybe in extreme cases it forces them into retirement, or resentment, but if those call-outs can’t make meaningful change in their own beliefs, it’s not the failure of the commenters, but rather the writer herself.

        I am wondering if you have read Jessica Yee’s post on Racialicious responding to Jill’s post: http://www.racialicious.com/2011/05/03/responding-to-the-mainstream-feminist-blogosphere-on-feminism-for-real/

    • Laura

      I agree, and it’s disappointing to see it being promoted here when it’s so clearly directed at this sort of issue.

  • Haley

    I am allergic to some ingredient in most deodorants (I’m not sure exactly what it is…). I used to use Tom’s of Maine. It worked pretty well, but by the end of the day I felt a little grubby. Now I use Dove for sensitive skin deodorant and I love it. I know it doesn’t fall under the all-natural category, but since I’ve had such good luck with it I wanted to share. 🙂

  • Kristin

    Yip Yip Martians! Yes, this is truly an indication that you married well. ^_^

  • Thank you for these links, there are some gems in there!

  • The yip yip martians are brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing 😀

  • Sal, these round up posts are so addictive!!! xo

  • Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, uh-huh, uh-huh, yip, yip, yip, uh-huh.

    I want that sound file.

  • Anna

    My most dreaded item to shop for? Bras, bras, bras.

  • Anat

    As to the Best Advice in the World, it also apears as number 1 in secrets to aging well:
    http://www.care2.com/greenliving/5-secrets-to-aging-well.html?page=2
    Note the “common happiness triggers: Laughter, music, touch, spirituality, exercise, good conversation”

    And LOVED the Yip Yip Maritans, geez, brings back some memories….

  • Evelyn

    This past winter, I tried three different “natural” deodorants that worked decently enough. But when spring started to roll around in Houston (humid and in the 80s), they were definitely not enough for this stinky girl’s bike ride to school, so I went back to a traditional one. But now I wonder if I should try again. It’s so disheartening to spend a significant amount of money on yet another natural deodorant that isn’t strong enough for me, or even makes me smell worse than nothing! (Kiss my Face “natural mineral clay”, I’m looking at you.) Please let us know if you try one of these and it actually works.

  • Thanks Diva for the link love. 🙂

  • Thanks so much for the link, friend!

  • Laura

    I do so love that sesame street clip.