Doing a re-run today, my friends, due to high holiday cheer! Hope you enjoy this post from the archives:
Let me tell you a secret. It’s something that cosmetics companies don’t want you to know, and retailers hope you never find out, and the diet industry assumes you’ll never believe. But I’m gonna spill the beans anyway:
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are gorgeous and glorious and goddesslike right now, today, just as you are. You don’t need a lick of makeup, or a pair of Spanx, or towering platform heels. You don’t need Botox or the 30-day Shred or Nice ‘N’ Easy to cover those grays. You don’t need Louboutins, or taupe nail polish, or whatever trend is gonna be trendy for the next seven seconds. If you WANT any of those things, then by all means go for ‘em. Every sentient human being is entitled to make choices. But you are utterly complete and undeniably marvelous without them.
As our girl Eleanor Roosevelt is oft-quoted as saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And why the hell would you consent to THAT? Yes, there are larger forces at work and it can be hard to remember to love ourselves in the face of all that body-bashing racket. And yes, the global definition of beauty needs revision to include some actual diversity. And yes, it would be easier to believe that there’s nothing wrong with us if people would stop telling us and selling us all of our inexcusable “flaws.”
But belief is a choice. So choose to fight harder.
Start with yourself when it comes to transforming standards of beauty. Train yourself to evaluate the body messages that come in, and disregard the ones that don’t apply. Take some responsibility for how you feel about yourself. It’s not called self-image for nothing: SELF is at the center. Anything you can do for others is stellar, marvelous, above-and-beyond. But this battle starts at home, inside your own head. And you do have the power to accept or deny the messages that get fed into that gorgeous cranium.
You believed in the Tooth Fairy once, and Santa. You believed that your parents weren’t people, they were parents, and regular-person rules didn’t apply to them. You believed your heart was shattered for good, and you’d never love again. But you learned, you grew, you changed, and your beliefs changed with you.
It’s time to outgrow the belief that we are somehow inferior because we don’t look a certain way, wear certain things, live certain lives. It’s time to laugh it off when a magazine tells us we need to firm up and slim down, no matter how firm or slim we might already be. It’s time to focus on ourselves, as we are, instead of the selves that somebody else thinks we should be.
Because the secret is out: There is nothing wrong with us. Not a single, solitary thing.
Image courtesy - Javier -
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
This is awesome, timely and appreciated! How true too
Did enjoy the post from the archieves, thanks! It reminds us of something that we all too often let slip our minds.
One of the books I mentioned in my last past post, The Dirt on Clean by Katherine Ashenberg, is a fascinating history of attitudes toward our bodies and cleanliness. Even if you are not into the ancient history, the last section of the book starts with soap companies in the US. They had a product that was largely indistinguishable from the rest of the market, so they began playing on our fears, telling us that we smelled, that we had bad breath, that our teeth weren’t white or straight enough, and our hair needed to be stripped of all its natural oils on a regular basis. I know Hannukah is over, but if you’d like to read it, I’d love to send it along. I picked it up used for a few bucks, and the knowledge is worth ten times the price! I think it would make a great resource for your blog, Sal!
I’d love that! I’ll drop you a note, beautiful. Thank you.
Love this! I need to be reminded of this everyday.
Appreciated, thank you. and so true, even if it’s hard to bealieve sometimes.
xxx Charlie
Last few hours to enter my Christmas Giveaway!
I think that’s one of the best gifts I’ll get all year. A wonderful, confidence-inspiring entry. Thanks!
I loved this so much — I hope it’s okay but I had to share a link to this post on my blog, it’s too lovely not to share.
What a lovely post. So spot on! You’re right, I did used to believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, so why the heck would I refuse to believe in myself now that I am older, wiser, and more confident in who I am?
oh wow, I haven’t seen this post before – and I absolutely love it! Thanks Sal, for the post and for everything you write – you make an amazing difference in my life, my thoughts, and my mornings! Can’t wait to see what 2011 brings! Happy Holidays!
Amen to that!!! Loved this post… Happy Holidays, Sal!!
Brilliantly composed and written— THANK YOU! I will print this out and hang it up as a reminder! This is the companion message to the lesson I’ve been learning and living over the past 2 years which is that I am NOT my bank account nor my credit score. There is nothing inherently wrong with me. There is where I am versus where I want to be, but that’s the journey, right?! At my core there is a powerful lovely and loving person to be reckoned with, world! So, Happy 2011! Please keep these positive, smart, funny and truthful messages a-flowing.
Thanks Sally for your wonderful, inspiring posts!
Oh, I am sooo linking to this. Bears repeating, again and again and again.
I needed to read this, at precisely this moment in my life. Thank You. What a great lesson to start the year with.
You’re absolutely right about revising the meaning of diversity in beauty. Even though I have fair skin and blue eyes, I so badly want to see all the different shades of beauty put into magazines and movies and fashion shows.
So true, they have to push a product every year for Spring and Fall. You just have to shut out all the madness and love you! I try to educate myself on natural / organic products and that’s what I use. I don’t need to be using man-made chemical laden products to make my eyelashes longer (not knowing the long-term side effects) or my skin have one even skin tone or less wrinkles or less blotchy or whatever it is they are promoting.
They really go after women in my age category and try to prey on insecurities about aging. But I tune it out, life is life and nobody can stop the aging process. I’m not going to look like a fool with a frozen, deformed face that’s good for 12 months then you gotta go back again. That’s just sheer madness. I use my organic shea butter as a moisturizer, drink plenty of water, try my best to keep a clean diet, walk as much as possible and I leave the rest to God. That’s the only way a person can have some inner peace.
This entry is sooo on time and so very necessary! Thank you for this wonderful reminder. I’m going to post a link to this post on my blog, this a great affirmation for the start of a new day. Peace and Power.
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