I’ve heard people say that whenever a woman dresses up, elements of patriarchal oppression, conformism, and weakness are at play. That it goes against the feminist grain to cinch your waist, or maximize your bust, or lengthen your legs with flattering clothing because on some level, you’re doing it to garner male attention … or to make your fellow women feel inferior. That you’re unconsciously playing into some societal idea of what a woman should look like, even as you’re telling yourself you’re doing it because it makes you feel good.
But I don’t buy it. Not for a minute.
This kind of thinking paints women as mindless, consumption-driven zombies incapable of making their own decisions. It assumes that any time we dare feel good about our looks, any time we include grooming and style in our regimen of self-care, we are surrendering power. And, perhaps even worse, it feeds into the smart-versus-pretty dichotomy. I mean, any woman who wants to dress up and look fashionable every day can’t be smart, can she? If she makes sexy shoes and perfect makeup a priority, she can’t possibly have room in her life for anything deeper or more meaningful. And, obviously, someone who stays abreast of the trends and dresses to accentuate her assets couldn’t be a real feminist.
Obviously.
And that’s a bit extreme and most people who accuse women of pandering when they pull on miniskirts and brush on mascara aren’t quite that prejudiced. But a few months back, I saw a blog comment about how Eve Ensler wasn’t relevant as a feminist anymore because she’d gotten a flattering new haircut and put on some lipstick for an interview. And I had to walk around the block a few times to keep my head from exploding. Because Eve didn’t lose brain cells as she lost length off her ‘do, and she didn’t get the smarts sucked out of her when she slapped on that lippy. She’s still herself, still amazing, just a little different-looking. And saying she’s a sell-out for changing her personal style is assuming that she took someone else’s opinion into consideration when she made those changes. That’s a BIG assumption, and not one I’m comfortable making. About anyone.
The choices we make when we dress are nothing if not complex. To deny that societal ideals have influenced modern fashion would be naive, and to claim that women never dress to appeal to men would be preposterous. These things play in, sometimes, for some women. But it really frosts my cake when people assume that ALL women who dig clothes and fashion, cosmetics and fitness, are brainless bimbos who’d love nothing more than to bulldoze all that feminists have worked so hard to build.
Are all women who dress up feminists? No. Are all women who dress down feminists? No. What someone wears tells you some information about their tastes, choices, and lifestyle, but that information is minimal at best. Important, but minimal. There is no way to determine from looking at a woman whether or not she is a feminist. There is no way to determine from looking at a woman whether or not she is smart. You have to dig deeper to find those things out.
So don’t tell me I’m not a feminist because I’m a clotheshorse. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.
{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
I couldn't agree more – something I feel strongly about. And brilliantly written, as always Sal
Obviously there are many ways of defining feminism, but for me the idea that women should be free to express themselves though their appearance is part of feminism. I may like make-up and dresses, but I am still a smart, strong woman. Women who dress in other ways are just as feminine, and can be just as smart and strong. I don't think there is anything feminist about saying women who dress like "x" are more valuable or feminist than women who dress like "y".
my thoughts exactly.
whenever people ask me what feminism means to me i answer: when a woman in a pencil skirt and heels is taken as seriously as her female counterpart in a suit, gender equality might be in sight. i find it deeply alarming that business women still have to put on male armour in order to be successful. Blech!
Clothing is such a diverse matter that says so much about who a person is, even if many people argue that it is not (age, culture, background, education, personal taste, just to name a few…). simply dividing women into two categories is just way too simple.
AND i even dare to like it if a man holds the door for me. does that make me a victorian angel of the house? i don't think so. ta.
I've raised livestock (bear with me here…) for 20 years and in terms of dressing, the sheep and goats have taught me one valuable lesson: the creature that looks the weakest or the least healthy or allows him/herself to be pecked or harassed ends up literally at the bottom of the pecking order. Their food gets stolen; they get pushed aside and harassed by others at every turn – their health suffers. They are the ones with injuries and the most parasites, the absolutely weakest in terms of health. Looking and feeling your best (and most of the time, that's psychological)is just good self-protection – THAT is empowerment. And if for you, that takes red lipstick and fierce heels, then do that.
Excellent commentary Sal! I think we can be smart and sexy and what to look good just because we want to present the best self we can to the world. I don't know if that is considered feminism or not, but I guess I really don't care
Amen! Although I am not an ardent feminist, I have always resented the labels both men and women slap on gals who take an interest in fashion/beauty as brainless and obviously caught up in debunking everything that the women's lib movement worked for. Some of the smartest ladies I have ever known have also been the most put together (and to be fair, I have known quite a few brainy gals who choose not to spend time focusing on fashion–which is cool too!). I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the information we gain from someone's appearance is only minimal. It's important in certain situations (such as a job interview in which you want to appear put together and like you can handle the job), but ultimately how I or you dress does not give everyone a peek into the inner workings. Even though I choose to wear vintage styles that are usually quite feminine, that doesn't really give you a clue about my favorite food, political views, religious beliefs, my history, or ambitions.
Great post, Sal!
♥ Casey
blog | elegantmusings.com
I think and hope that those of us who are feminists but do like to dress to feel our best and wear makeup and the occasional high heeled shoe (good for gouging out the eyes of the patriarchy not just for being confined by it) can help to expand the notion of what a feminist looks like.
Oh, this is wonderful. It puts into words what I have thought for a long time. I like dressing up (not often, but sometimes), and it's frustrating for me that people label me as superficial when I do focus on getting cleaned up and dress like a woman. The fact that I like when other women dress up makes me less of a "woman's woman".
Of course, it goes the opposite way – I read Corporette, and they often talk about how women should wear skirts and heels to court, and that flats (and oxfords or platform loafers) are disrespectful to the male judges and inappropriate. Why are we letting men – OR other women – STILL dictate what we wear?
The thing that's got my knickers in a knot lately is how much crap Elena Kagan is taking for how she dresses, or doesn't dress up, how her hair's cut, how she does or doesn't cross her legs. Clearly she's not meeting some people's ideals of femininity, probably in part because she dresses "strong" to fit into her career. It's like people who couldn't possibly do the job she does, get mad because a middle-aged woman chooses short hair and dark suits and therefore doesn't choose to serve the eye candy role. But if she were eye candy she'd get shit for that, too.
The only time I feel oppressed is when I actually stop to give a teeny, tiny hoot about what anyone thinks about my clothing on any level other than purely aesthetic. But then, I work in academia, where the size of your awesome is based pretty purely on accomplishments. If I were a Dean, I would probably dress just like Elena Kagan.
You know I agree! http://wendybrandes.com/blog/2007/10/why-does-buyers-guilt-focus-on-fashion/
You tell 'em, Sal. In academia, the idea that a woman can be smart and well-dressed is a relatively new concept, so adding "smart and well-dressed AND a feminist" to the mix is really a mind-bender for some folks. I'm going to copy Toby Wollin's comment and put it in my journal.
THIS.
The way women look is a variable, but who and what she is are not. A woman's strength, grace, and POWER come from within and will shine through even under layers of make-up, mini skirts, and kitten heels.
Very good points Sal! I hate that some people make me feel shallow or stupid for liking clothes! But I think the fact that I still dress up, even when I don't plan I leaving the house that day, shows that I do it to make myself feel good and not to impress anyone else!
It has always seemed like a weak argument to me that one has to not care about appearance in order to be a feminist. Like you, I don't buy it for a minute. I had an analyst tell me "if you are reacting against something and doing the opposite in order to act against it then you are still being run by it." If we reject aesthetics to demonstrate we are not object for the male gaze then we are still living our lives in response to the other and not making choices for ourselves.
Overall, I agree. I do think it's a little bit more complicated than you let on here, though. There are certain items we find "fashionable," certain features highlight in certain ways, that do come from a pretty patriarchal place. Which isn't to say we shouldn't do it, but I think there is a value in being aware of where those preferences come from.
Oh this is a most glorious and needed post. I often feel guilty for buying high-heeled shoes and occassionally using mascara. I don't do it often, but every time I do I feel like I'm caving to some Other, and that my intelligence will be judged as lower.
If women would stop perpetrating this sort of thinking on each other ("Just look at that skirt! What a skank!") then maybe we could all learn to love ourselves and our widely varying sartorial tastes just a bit more.
And clearly, being fashionable does not reduce one's IQ, as evidenced by this very thoughtful, very fashionable blog!
So many great comments. Thank you Cynthia and Toby, in particular.
Sal, you mentioned the fallacy that women dress to make other women feel inferior. That one pisses me off the most, I think, because while I enjoy the admiration of other women for my style choices, I don't put it out there like, "Suck it, bitch. I dress better than you." Now that I have some seniority in my workplace, I hope that what I wear can liberate my less senior colleagues to wear what they like, thereby pushing the boundaries of what we think professional women look like. I hope that if some other lady thinks I look nice, she takes it as a cue that she, too, shouldn't miss a chance to look fabulous, whatever that means to her.
Sal, you hit the nail on the head. What a great post and so well-written.
I used to dress dowdy at my former jobs that were in male-dominated environments. After all, no one would believe any of my thoughts if I wore great lipstick, right? The whole dumbing-down-my-looks experience made me feel marginalized — if I looked dowdy, it made me feel weak.
I've gotten over that thinking, and I wish the rest of the world would too. Being smart and beautiful, or as you said, being a feminist clotheshorse, are things that are not mutually exclusive.
Hear, hear! Fabulous, spot-on post and comments. Couldn't have said it better myself.
::::::::Wildly Applauding, Sal!!!:::::::
You get a standing ovation for this excellent, insightful post,
with sincere appreciation,
Jean
hear hear! the association of seriousness with frumpiness is one that's always bugged me.
and wonderful turn-of-the-academic-phrase at the end (i luurrve using "mutually exclusive" for any number of arguments).
My main issue with feminists who say women dressing femininely are somehow catering to oppression is that I think it should be the very opposite. The reason empowered women started wearing 'male' clothing like trousers and square, boxy shapes is because they were emulating more powerful men. The idea that in order to be smart, successful and serious a woman still has to dress "like a man" is, frankly, insulting. Surely, feminists should want to celebrate the female body and shape? They way I see it, the only way for women to truly achieve equality with men is to have their value recognized as women, wearing female clothes that emphasize their shape, not try to make it look like they're shaped like men.
PS: This does not mean I'm saying that women who dress in 'male' shapes are somehow less worth as women, either. Just that women being discriminated against because they like to dress like women is bull. I'm all for full sartorial freedom – people should be allowed to wear whatever they want. (to me, that includes men having the freedom to wear dresses and skirts, but that's another rant for another day)
Bravo! I love this. Growing up with a feminist mother who doesn't own makeup or dress any way other than to be comfortable and feel good, I feel that it's etched into my brain that part of taking control of your own life is getting to make the choice in your appearance. And you shouldn't be judged by your choices.
That said, when I was in college and minoring in feminist studies, I definitely felt that I was taken more seriously if I was dressed-down for those classes. That always bugged the shit out of me!
This one hits me where I live. I realize that I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about clothes (and other "girly" things) from searching stores, to browsing online shops, reading reviews, reading blogs, organizing my closet, etc. I would say at least 3 hours of my day involve clothes/appearance in some way.
And boy am I ever ashamed about it! I don't really like to tell people that I am so interested, because I am scared to be labeled vapid, or boring.
Having spent most of my life first A) not caring and then B) not knowing how or what to do, I feel like I am making up for lost time. I was mostly reading and doing schoolwork for the first 13-or-so years of my life; what can I say, I was an only child.
And I distinctly remember feeling completely out of my element once the girls I knew started to be….girly. And you know what? I was clueless right up until I was about 24, and I started to TRY.
So maybe I spend too much time on it now. I'd hate to be labeled vain when I am only having fun with myself & my appearance!
Thank. You.
Thank you putting this so eloquently.
Thank you for stating what so many of us women feel.
Thank you for being a clotheshorse and a feminist.
It's because men can't customarily do the things we do (wear makeup, heels, fashion, etc.)If men can't do it, it's frivlous and unimportant.
Any women who thinks a fashionable woman automatically isn't a feminist is actually the one buying into the patriarchy.
Amen! I get so frustrated when I even think about this type of stuff. I never understood what the supposed correlation between style (or looks in general) and brains is supposed to be. It is completely beyond me why someone would be considered more of a feminist if they didn't take care of their looks. If we are talking about a woman's free choice, then what on earth is the problem?
This isn't right on-topic, but female politicians often get in trouble for being too pretty and too fashionable, and for spending too much money on their looks. But then they get ridiculed for having bad style as well. You just can't win!
You've nailed it on the head again, Sal. Funny how when men dress or present themselves smartly, they are being professional and seizing their power, whereas with women, it is not seen as affirming them but as a reaction by them to others.
I will comment on this statement:
"And saying she's a sell-out for changing her personal style is assuming that she took someone else's opinion into consideration when she made those changes. That's a BIG assumption, and not one I'm comfortable making. About anyone."
Even if she did take someone else's opinion into account, I don't think that makes her a sell out at all. It's still her decision to make the change, and if she does, more power to her. The example I would give is sometimes my husband says an outfit I am wearing would look better be more flattering by changing an accessory or a layering piece. Sometimes, I rock on as is, sometimes, I agree and make the change. Still my choice putting out the image I want the world to perceive of me even though I did consider his input.
"I've heard people say that whenever a woman dresses up, elements of patriarchal oppression, conformism, and weakness are at play."
I would say that whenever a woman dresses, elements of patriarchal oppression, conformism, and weakness are at play. Whether she puts on a dress (could be seen as doing it to garner male attention or to frame herself in a "I'm just a girl, I'm not threatening" sort of way), or puts on a male-style suit (could be seen – as others have commented – as women having to take on male traits to be seen as powerful).
(I would say that there are elements of the same thing playing out when a man dresses, too, but probably to a lesser extent.)
Good post, but I think oversimplifies a bit. I totally agree that it's awful when women (especially politicians etc) get talked about more for what they wear than for what they stand for (especially when it's can't win however you dress). But I think there's a lot more to the gender politics / overtones of dressing than this.
(Sorry, Sal, for sounding so negative – I know you're not trying to be the last word on the subject and so on. I just really think that there is a lot deeper that this could go.
Also, I'm curious as to where you've come across this point of view? Not meaning to sound disbelieving, genuinely curious. I think I probably mostly know young liberal feminists, so don't come across this viewpoint)
On the very contrary: For me, dressing up in my own, non-trend-dictated style, so that I feel beautiful, comfortable, confident, and therefore strong, is an act of feminism and empowerment. Great post!
I've been reading and enjoying your blog for quite some time, Sal, and this is by far my favorite post. I dropped out of a graduate school program that would have ended, for me, in a career in academia… And I did it so that I could open a resale clothing store! Every day I struggle with the feeling that I'm losing my identity as an intelligent woman, despite the fact that my new career requires loads of creative thinking, offers constant learning opportunities, and is extremely rewarding in so many myriad ways. Thanks for discussing this topic that I've been struggling with lately!
Also, in Linda Grant's "The Thoughtful Dresser" she points out that the idea that an interest in clothing/fashion/adornment is silly is essentially a misogynist concept–and one that is not extended to other "pointless" obsessions such as football.
Jingle Bella: I completely agree that this is a complex issue and that this post oversimplifies. But my objective isn't to dig much deeper – whole book exist on the politics of dressing, and I could never pretend to know all the angles. My objective here is to say to women who have been made to feel that enjoying clothing or dressing to accentuate certain aspects of their figures, "You are not bad, stupid, or a rotten feminist simply for liking these things."
Because they're not.
I agree that the patriarchy holds influence over matters of dressing. As both you and La Belette Rouge pointed out, we're damned if we dress "girly" and damned if we dress "manly," and that's down to patriarchal influence. But we still have to get dressed every single day. And if we enjoy getting dressed, should we feel shame about it? If so, why? How can we get out of that trap? Can't reclaiming creative dressing as something we do for ourselves bend and break that influence, if we do it long enough and hard enough?
Never worry about sounding negative, lady! I am GLAD that you challenge me and push for more, and always welcome disagreement when it incites dialogue.
I have encountered this kind of criticism both personally among women in my life – mainly older female coworkers and professors and grad students at the University where I work – and in the comments sections of personal style blogs.
It seems like many commenters feel similarly, so I turn it to you all:
Where have you encountered the "dressing up as vapid, submissive act" attitude in your lives? Sounds like academia is a definite culprit for many of you, but has it been from peers? Mentors? Men? Women? Both?
Well, I do agree that caring about one's appearance and being intelligent are not mutually exclusive, of course.
But I do believe that when we dress or put on makeup we are doing it for other people and for ourselves. Sure we do it because it makes us feel good. But who can honestly say that they don't think about how others perceive them. I'd say most people would be embarrassed if part of their shirt came untucked from their pants, or if their mascara ran a bit, or if their nailpolish was a bit chipped. No one wants to be perceived as sloppy. If we didn't care what others thought then we wouldn't just get dressed to go out. We could put on our makeup and pretty attire any time of day whether we were going out or not. But most of us don't. I admit, sometimes I get dressed up late at night when I'm not going out, just because I feel like it. But really it's just "practice" for when I do go out–practice for the "real thing." We dress for other people in the sense that we don't want to dress somehow that makes others perceive us as weird. It's a fact of life and it's ok!
Hear hear, Sal. I've never bought into the idea that feminism, or smarts, don't jive with dressing up. And I pity the fool who tries to tell me that I'm caving in to some sort of patriarchal oppression because I dress the way I do. As if!
I prefer 'girly' clothing because it's simply more interesting than men's styles. To me having more choices equals having more freedom; freedom to express myself, freedom to create, and freedom to feel however I want to feel through how I look.
I think there's an intelligence to dressing well, too; understanding the interplay of colors, textures, and shape takes the same sort of skills that an artist employs. So why don't people say that if a woman likes to create beautiful art, that she's necessarily not a feminist? It's just a ridiculous assertion.
I think those of us in academia who are careful dressers deconstruct this stereotype every day. When I started out in my program, some people may have assumed I was dumb because I dressed well, but I don't think anyone thinks that now.
I think those of us who blog about the fact that we're careful dressers in academia also do plenty to show that intelligence, feminism, and interest in clothing can and frequently do go together. Since we began our own blog, I've been really encouraged by how many other bloggers and readers are interested in demonstrating the claims you've presented here.
-Liz
Love the post. Agree and love. I am 49 ys old. I HATE it when people make assumptions about who I am, and I work very hard to not make assumptions about others …
Thanks so much for this post, Sal! I've been thinking a lot about the disconnect that exists between brains and beauty even in my own head, and this post says everything that I've been thinking about better than I ever could.
Re: this kind of attitude in academia, we've blogged about this a few times at Fashionable Academics.
Megarita wrote about it here: http://fashionableacademics.blogspot.com/2009/08/on-perils-of-fashion.html
We had an open forum on this topic back in December: http://fashionableacademics.blogspot.com/2009/12/open-forum-on-perils-of-fashion.html
I will preface this comment by saying that I 100% agree that no one should feel guilty about dressing the way they please, and that pre-judging anyone based on how they look and dress is deeply stupid and wrong.
However I really can't agree with the commenters that are saying that dressing stylishly is empowering. I don't think this is something Sal was trying to say in the post, either.
Here's my thought process:
I think many of us will agree there is an arbitrary and impossible beauty standard that is imposed upon women. It is the root of many women's insecurities about their own appearance. Since birth we have been bombarded with images of thin (but not too thin), tall (but not too tall), busty (but not too busty), white women that are held up as the pinnacle of beauty that every woman should aspire to. Part of the purpose of this blog, if I've been reading correctly, is to encourage women to embrace one's own beauty even if it doesn't fall within these narrowly defined standards set by society. We all agree that having such a narrow (and, in fact, impossible, since even the most beautiful women in the world according to the standard are photoshopped in magazines) standard of beauty is harmful to women, yes?
Furthermore, this standard is socially constructed. In past societies, and even some societies today, being fat is considered more beautiful than being thin. This means that there isn't actually a true, universal idea of "beauty", and if we change society's attitudes about what is "beautiful", we can more easily see the real beauty in each and every person. Right?
So my problem with saying that it's empowering to wear high heels and makeup is that I don't think it's actually empowering to support the current beauty standard by playing into it. And wearing high heels and makeup and minimizing your waist and normalizing your proportions IS playing into the current beauty standard, which, again, is entirely socially constructed. (Eg., you may say that high heels are flattering because they elongate the legs, but why are long legs valued in the first place?)
And again, I don't think anyone should ever feel GUILTY about dressing a certain way or that they're not fighting the good fight because of how they dress. But to deny that dressing stylishly by today's standards is playing into the beauty myth, or that dressing stylishly doesn't confer social benefits (such as compliments), is counterproductive. I think this post is relevant here: http://www.feministgamers.com/?p=202
I mean, I also drive a car and eat meat. I can't take public transportation to work and I love a good hamburger, but that doesn't mean I'm going to deny that these things contribute to America's dependance on oil or cruel treatment of farm animals. (And just because this jacket looks freakin' amazing on me doesn't mean I'm not supporting the commercialization of punk since I bought it at Hot Topic ;P) I'm not going to feel guilty or beat myself up about those things, but it's important to be aware of how oppressive systems like patriarchal beauty standards work so we can resist them in whatever ways we can. See what I mean?
Also, sorry for writing a novel ><;
Great post, Sally.
Toby's comment also stuck with me. I'm in full support of the "look good, feel good" mentality. Whatever makes you feel your best is what you should do (this is how I justify my weekly manicure!)
Yes! Lovely.
What's the point of having choices if you can only choose one? I really love to dress up – but I will also often turn up to the office or a cocktail event in pretty casual stuff. I like having the ability to do both.
Dress a Day had a post ages ago now, that really stuck with me. She was saying that there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel pretty (slightly different from being pretty, too – you can LOOK pretty or dressed up without being or feeling it, and vica versa) but that 'pretty is not the rent you pay for occupying the space marked 'female''.
Any metalsmiths want to make me a 'this is what a feminist looks like' necklace I can wear with my ballgown?
I really appreciate this post, the resulting comments, and some of the more cautious statements by some of the commenters (Alex's comment was very good).
What I want to add to this already great discussion is more empathy to the second wave feminist idea that dressing to fit societal standards can be oppressive. I don't subscribe to it personally, but we have to remember that several decades ago, women were more harshly judged on their looks AND considered less capable than men. By adopting androgynous looks and rejecting certain conventions, this created a conversation about the social restrictions placed on women. And I appreciate this political work because it helped to challenge ideas that women should be forced to play up their looks as a necessary part of their jobs. (I shouldn't generalize off of Mad Men, but I do know that looks were much more important in hiring decisions for women back in the day. Not to deny that they are not important now).
What I do reject is that feminism is about "freedom of choice" and therefore since a woman choose to dress femininely, this is "feminist." Two women can dress similarly, but one can do so be she fully subscribes to antiquated ideas of what women "should be", while another could do so as an act of critical and conscious reflection and expression. Reducing feminism to "freedom of choice," (while ignoring that no choices are made in cultural or social vaccums) can result in an odd cooptation of feminist narratives by companies that sell beauty products like Restylane and Botox, that try to make it seem like it's your right as a beneficiary of the women's movement to fork over your hard earned cash to fill your face with junk. It's not freedom of choice until all forms of expression- flat or low heels, waist emphasizing or boxier styles, rule bound or rule ignoring- are generally considered legitimate choices that do not reflect one's intellect, ability, or politics. And we are a long way from that.
Alex: Never feel like you have to apologize for long comments. Seriously.
Your argument is extremely well-put. And I agree that dressing stylishly has social implications and benefits, and that dressing in ways that are conventionally deemed "flattering" is influenced by an agreed-upon but totally arbitrary beauty standard.
My concern is this: If women who dress to conform to the current beauty standard by wearing trendy clothes, cinching waists, elongating legs, etc. are automatically and unconditionally feeding into a construct, the implication is that they're powerless. They only THINK they're making decisions, only THINK they're looking and feeling good. The take-away is, "When you dress that way, you are not in control. You are a pawn, even if you think you're making your own choices."
What resistance are we supposed to offer if not making a conscious choice to dress as we please, to please ourselves, to please our own sense of aesthetics? What are our alternatives if dressing to fit the norm is an act of submission? If we deem certain styles "patriarchy-approved," and therefore bad, and we completely avoid wearing them, the patriarchy is still controlling our choices.
As has been pointed out here and elsewhere, dressing is inherently political and no one dresses ENTIRELY to please herself. But I just don't see how we can regain any power or leverage without asserting our power to choose. And that means choose either option: Dress up, dress down. Just put yourself in charge and choose.
I think that women should dress in clothing that makes them feel gorgeous, powerful, and fantastic in every way. Some women will do that by creating a tall, narrow silhouette and some won't. Some will do it by wearing fitted clothes that show their shapes and some will do it by wearing loose clothes that disguise their shapes. All choices are right. You are right to say that I want this blog to remind women that there is not a single correct type of beauty, body, skin color, height. But that means women who fit the current beauty standard/construct naturally and those who CHOOSE to dress to fit the current beauty standard/construct are just as wonderful as those who don't. All-inclusive, all women, no matter what. We all have bodies and figure-flattery priorities, and all of our bodies are amazing and all of our figure-flattery priorities are good ones. I want to empower women to remember that no matter what the other women around them look like, wear, or do.
I know you have emphasized and re-emphasized that you're not trying to guilt-trip anyone, and I love that. I also think that, in the end, we both want the same thing: Awareness. I know that some styles attract my eye because they fit a standard. I make choices about those styles with that knowledge in mind, so it is my own, informed choice. And awareness doesn't do us much good if it doesn't inform choice.
Caring about yourself is essential to an empowered life.
I tend to view "closehorseyness" as a hobby. The list of things that men indulge themselves in is long. If I want to indulge myself in something that makes me happy – why not?
Rad has an excellent point. When I started teaching, back in the dark ages (1984) women professors were a tiny percentage of the faculty, and they dressed, by and large, to hide and/or to be accepted as "serious" by men who made up the majority of the departments that "had" to hire a woman because of affirmative action laws. I was the ONLY woman in my area (creative writing) for the first 7 years I was on faculty. Now in this area, we have 5 women and 2 men.
I wear what I want to wear, but some women still dowd it up. But maybe they'd dowd it up no matter what–there's no accounting for taste or imagination.
Great post – and countless studies show that women who present themselves well (attractively, dress well, groom well, wear some lippy) make up to 10% more money than those who don't.
So why wouldn't you? Plus there are studies that show dressing and grooming improve your self-esteem, and that's not a bad thing either!
I call myself a feminist, women are still underrepresented in so many power positions. There is a long way to go until we have equality.
Thank you for this thought-provoking post and the intelligent discussion fostered here. I'm still pondering all sides of this issue, as I have been for years.
What I do know is that the older I get – the more mature, more successful in my career, etc. – the bolder I feel about dressing in ways considered "girly" or "feminine." Now that I have proven myself in so many ways other than how I choose to dress, I feel free to be less self-conscious and wear what makes me feel happy, without stressing about power.
Amen!
Someone told me that a smart female like myself should be writing a blog about politics or something more "smart" than fashion because I was basically just wasting my intellegence and therefore anti-feministic. I say pshaw.
Part of my feminism is being allowed to have passions and be intellegent and do what I please. It's ridiculous to imply that strong intellegent women can't like clothes. It's like saying we can't like art.
If only more people got it like you. Thank you at least, for spreading the good word. You rock.
Brilliant, thought-provoking post. A significant idea that I learned in my college women's studies courses was that Feminism is about expanding choices and options for women, and respecting and honoring these choices as it reflects a woman's own self-respect. I think when women clothe themselves in a way that is respectful of themselves, and highlights their confidence, earthiness, beauty (inner/outer), grace, loveliness, and strength, or if she feels just like hanging out in clean, comfortable, low-key clothing and is casually well-grommed, I think these choices can be self-respecting and empowering, and just plain fun. Women can and should enjoy themselves in whatever interests them! Style does not necessarily negate substance, intellect, compassion, kindness, inner strength, and all of the other more important inner qualities a woman possesses. A woman can possess all of these qualities and more, and be pretty and fashionable at the same time-if she wants to.
By the way, I love your shoes and that cardigan. Where did you get those shoes? Your prettiest accessory is your lovely smile.
Brava, Sally! This is right on and well said! S.
"That you're unconsciously playing into some societal idea of what a woman should look like, even as you're telling yourself you're doing it because it makes you feel good."
Actually, I would say that if a woman makes style choices to make her figure look more hourglassy and her legs look longer and more willowy, and she doesn't *consciously* acknowledge that those choices play into societal ideals, then yes, she's playing into those ideals *subconsciously.*
mostly likely i've missed the boat time-wise here, but….as an older generation feminist (who strives toward a personal style, sews, etc.) i see one of the key concepts here is awareness. are people aware that feminism is more than 'women should be able to choose what they want'. are people aware of the patriarchal/oppressive history of various fashion styles (which they are choosing to wear), the history of using style-related consumerism to distract and belittle women through the past century. are people aware of the enculturation process that results in taking on the dominant culture's ideas about womanhood and attractiveness 'natural' and 'normal', and the ways in which these ideas are used to oppress women(that is a part of what our ideas of beauty are about, sadly).
i agree that it's not helpful to judge people on appearances. however, one of the main purposes of clothing in every society through history and the globe has been to signify class, gender, marriage status, marriageability, etc. so that judgment is something that happens, and as a member of our society most of us have a pretty good idea of that society's 'language of clothes'.
so if a person chooses to dress in a way that contradicts who they are inside, it's understandable and even predictable that there will be misunderstandings. that doesn't make it right or the way the world should ideally be, but it's pretty predictable. so if a person is choosing this consciously (plenty of us do this unconsciously) then it would be sensible for them to anticipate questions and maybe think of how they wish to address them.
there are plenty of discussions on this blog about how your visual presentation is understood by others and how a person can use that knowledge. this is just another of this part of clothes in society. interesting discussion, steph
Great post lady!
I am so drawn to this question of how do we, as humans, shape and experience identity. Women who care about what they wear have the identity of fashionable or stylish or fashion conscious. How much of that identity is how the world sees the woman, vs. how the woman sees the world? And how she sees herself? And what makes her happy, sad, or passionate?
It's a really fun topic, and I feel so lucky to be able to study it.
"If we deem certain styles 'patriarchy-approved,' and therefore bad, and we completely avoid wearing them, the patriarchy is still controlling our choices."
Yeah, that is definitely a no-win situation.
I think, ideally, we should be able to discuss sociological implications of clothing and the beauty standard without attacking any individual's manner of dress. Talking about it, like you do here, is the only way to change things. But Rad is right that we have a long way to go. So, as you say, wear what makes you happy!
WOW this is just what I needed to read. I DO always feel guilty in my love of dressing up. I feel if I was SMART I wouldn't dress up cutesy because I'd be too busy reading IMPORTANT BOOKS and IMPORTANT ARTICLES. One does not have anything to do with the other. Also thinking like that ignores my personal truth in that when I see a woman rocking an awesome frock I feel inspired and empowered. So thanks for inspiring a gut check
I'm a feminist and I love to dress up. But I think we also need to affirm that part of feminism is that we don't *have* to dress up or look pretty if we don't want to. That other things about us besides looks, are important. I really think it is unfair how women are subjected to so much more scrutiny of their appearance and sartorial choices, no matter how successful they are in other areas of their life.
Oh anyone who says that a style-conscious woman is not strong will be banished from my life.
I can't agree more. This reminds me so much of the way I feel when I walk into our engineering building on my college campus. My sorority requires us to wear business casual looks on most Mondays, and I tend to dress up anyways, and when I do, I feel like every single guy (and some women too) is staring at me wondering why the business student is lost in the engineering building. (I'm majoring in Information Systems Technology, which is in the Computer Science deparment) It's like they can't take me seriously as a computer science student because I'm dressed up, wearing my letters, or looking nice.
The stereotyping of being Greek and a bimbo is angering enough. But getting the same stereotyping for just being a women and nicely dressed–totally unacceptable.
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post… for me, another feminist clotheshorse, it's spot on.
Posts like this make me also want to thank you for your work keeping this blog running, positive and fabulous. I enjoy it every day.
"WOW this is just what I needed to read. I DO always feel guilty in my love of dressing up. I feel if I was SMART I wouldn't dress up cutesy because I'd be too busy reading IMPORTANT BOOKS and IMPORTANT ARTICLES. One does not have anything to do with the other."
–there is some truth to this. I have friends who spend a few hours getting ready, since I don't take more than ten minutes, I can work on art in the mornings before work. We all make choices and prioritize. Every hour spent shopping or getting dressed up could be spent doing something else–if you have other goals and dreams that aren't being achieved, you might want to check your priorities. Rather than feel guilty about not following your dreams and wasting time on something you see as less important, fix it! Do what is more important to you!
However, there is nothing wrong with fashion being important to you, its a very creative outlet, and not the domain of only women. I love reading historical novels and looking at pictures of the get ups men used to get themselves into–doublets and hose anyone?
Late to the game, but just found this blog and am so affected by this post, here are my thoughts:
I have worked in the theater for many years, and we have a saying about the use of lighting, scenery, etc: "if they can't see you, they won't hear you."
By dressing in the shape of my body, I claim my body and its shape.
By wearing colors that make me smile, I claim my own joy.
By wearing clothes that draw attention to the fact I am a woman, I proclaim my truth: I am a woman, and I am worth seeing.
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