I’ve been thinking lately about style advice and how to shift the focus away from making every woman feel like she needs to look as TALL and THIN as possible every single day. Of course there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going for tall and thin when you dress – I certainly do at times – but not everyone cares to concentrate on those as their primary priorities. At least, not all the time.
When I dress each day, and when I’m evaluating new clothing for potential purchase, I generally prefer items that will:
- Minimize my hips and thighs
- Show off my waist
- De-emphasize my tum
- Enhance my bust
That’s in order of priority, too. Secondarily, I like to show off my wrists and ankles as much as possible, elongate my legs, and balance my top and bottom halves. Which puts me more in the “hourglass” camp than the “tall, narrow, willowy” camp. I also prefer to have my upper arms covered, but the second it gets hot or humid I cease to care.
I’d say my priorities are fairly typical – especially for someone with my body shape who has been a consumer of traditional style advice for many years. But they’re far from universal. So I’d love to know:
How are you shaped, and what are YOUR figure flattery priorites? If you care to share, I’d love to know what influenced these priorities, too.
{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }
As an student athlete I often feel like I have difficulty finding non-sports clothing which flatters a body which is not tuned to fit the "tall and skinny" paradigm.
My priorities:
1.Minimize shoulders
2.Show off my waist
3.Show off legs
4.De-emphasize stomach
I like to make my tummy look smaller, enhance my bust without looking like a…hooker I guess.
I also like to cover my arms and make sure my bum looks "young"
I don't think any of that made sense haha.
-Kiyanna Shanay
http://thoughtsunderpressure.com
I would say I'm definitely an hourglass shape. My list, when buying new clothes is pretty much the same as yours, in that order.
For me, when I lost a good 35 pounds I found I actually *had* a waist and that was an epiphany for me. I started looking for clothes that played up my curves since to my eyes, I'd never seen them! Always before, the clothes I bought really had no shape (boxy men's crew neck t-shirts or ill-fitting jeans, clothes I thought hid what I didn't want to see but probably made me look larger than I really was).
I won't say it's an easy road, I both love and hate my curves at times (finding jeans that don't gap horribly at the waist or tops that don't let the girls spill out, but I love how I look in dresses that define my waist and I don't wear them nearly enough).
I also have a thing about showing my upper arms. I can't really put my finger on it, but I just don't like to show them. (Which makes for a killer farmer's tan in the summer.)
I cover thighs first. Then I work to show off what I love: My tummy and rack.
I always try to cover upper arms, but like you, when it's hot fuggedaboutit. I have an athletic hourglass figure.
OK, I know this is horribly rude, but what exactly is your body type? YOu are so good at dressing, it's kind to hard to tell what the original looks like.
The only reason I am asking is that I LOVE LOVE LOVE your style, but I am not sure that I can dress like you, and still look good.
Anyway, priorities
1. Lengthen my neck
2. Show off my waist
3. Show off my ankles and calfs -mmmmm, good pair of heels
4. deemphasize thunder thighs
- Greatful Reader
I dress to:
1. De-emphasize my stomach
2. Try to create a waist where there isn't much of a natural one
3. Cover my upper arms
4. Emphasize my bust area
I have gained quite a lot of weight in recent years (which I am currently working on losing) and have had to learn how to dress my body all over again. I went from being fairly hourglass shaped to being more of an apple, and what used to look good on me no longer flatters.
Loving The Reflection
Interesting question and one that I haven't really thought through til now!
I suppose my priorities are to de-emphasize the bum and tum, and to elongate my legs.
I focus on those body parts because I am a petite person overall who carries a bit of excess weight around the middle and on the bum. Since I have such a small frame, I find the extra lumps are easier to spot. As for my legs, they are short and muscular and my torso is long. I would love to wear short skirts and tall shoes all the time, but I usually end up wearing knee-length skirts and flat shoes for lifestyle reasons.
I think about my figure flattery goals occasionally, but I don't think my wardrobe reflects these goals.
I'm an average height and average weight with broad shoulders and upper torso, and very toned legs that don't look like they belong to me. Im not sure what "shape" category I fall into – I'm not quite an hourglass, but I can give myself that illusion.
When I dress myself up, I like to
1) minimise my waist
2) show off my legs
3) give my bust a good shape
4) not draw attention to my shoulders.
Tall isn't something I could aim for even if I wanted to, and though I'd love a smaller waist, I don't have any wish to be "skinny" – I like my curves!
Oh, good question! Mine are:
1) de-emphasize/flatten the belly
2) balance/narrow the bum
3) create/define a waist
Great post Sal. I am pretty similarly shaped to you so my needs are similar.
My priorities:
1.Show off waist
2. De-emphasize tummy
3. elongate and balance everything (I'm short and curvy)
My biggest struggle is with pants since everything is cut for people with much longer legs than me. Any fitted pants are a challenge since the "knee" usually ends up at my shin. I guess that's why I'm such a fan of skirts and dresses.
I'm an "H" shape with a full bust and a short waist. I've never had a waist, even at my thinnest, and I've gotten a stomach pooch in middle age.
My priorities:
1. De-emphasize stomach.
2. Show off killer legs and arms.
3. Lengthen torso and obscure waistlessness.
Sal, so interesting that you posted this today. I just was thinking that I've spent most of my life trying to conceal what's traditionally feminine and attractive about my body, and emphasize what's powerful. Which would be my shoulders, my upper arms. Which would be masculine. I am sure this is from growing up in earlier days and attracting more attention than was comfortable. Used to be we couldn't walk down the street without men yelling stuff at us if we showed our figures. Seriously.
1. Thin
2. Minimize my tummy
3. Curvy
4. Show off legs
5. Tall
I'm naturally pretty thin and I count that as one of my best features, so I generally prefer clothes that work with that. Because I'm fairly small, my curves are too, but I like dressing so that they're visible, because it makes me feel more womanly, in a good way. Hand in hand with that, I like to dress so that my small bust and hips are actually visible, but that means I really need to be careful that what I wear doesn't also show off my little pot belly, which I'm not quite so happy with.
I enjoy showing off my legs and wearing items that make me look tall, but those are occasional concerns. My day-to-day dressing tends to focus on my first 3 concerns.
I'm shaped like a boy. I try to find things that imply that maybe, somewhere in there, I *have* a bust, but it's difficult. Next on the list is things that imply that I have a waist.
I don't mind if I don't find perfect bust/waist highlighters, but it's fun trying.
One of my favorite topics! Since I've been teaching knitting workshops about choosing sweaters that flatter, and sizing them to fit, I've been honing my verbiage about this to make sure that I don't end up channelling the same establishment voice you mention here.
I've been narrowing things down to:
EMPHASIZING the parts you love;
MINIMIZING the things you're sensitive about (at least until you aren't sensitive anymore!);
and BALANCING the silhouette proportionally.
For the record, I'm an hourglass (41-35-41) who's more sensitive about her bustline getting too much attention, so I usually go for things that minimize the bust and lengthen the waist (I'm not tall, so it's easy for me to look like my rack sits atop my hipbones.)
Look forward to seeing what folks post here about their shapes!
This is a hard question for me to answer… first- I'm not really sure of my shape. I lean toward pear-shaped, but there's also an element of straightness through my torso (created by having a short waist, large ribcage, and a small bust) So I rarely feel that general advice about how to dress for being shape X fully works for me.
I just want to feel good when I look in the mirror, and I haven't spent enough time defining the pieces that make up the whole of "I feel good in this- I LOOK good in this!" I'll try here.
I do know that I try to make my legs look their best. They have a lot of muscles, so they are quite thick, but don't always look as defined as I like. While I actually wear many different hem lengths, my favorites fall above the knee so as not to cut in the middle of my (very large) calf.
I like to show off my shoulders and chest (even though I am the customer that bra companies created the "nearly a" cup for). I don't try to make my boobs look bigger, that is rarely my concern. I try to emphasize the delicate-ness (a word?) of my upper half.
As far as my influences… not really sure. Probably dancing. Specific example: being small chested really works when your training in ballet. Big boobs are fine, but most of my friends who had them just complained that they got in the way. Small boobs were a part of the ballerina archetype, and for a long time that's what I wanted to be, so I came to love them rather than wishing I had bigger.
General example: Growing up in front of a mirror with line-defining clothes (or non-clothes really) can really mess with your head, but for me it actually gave me a very clear picture of what my body looks like. I think a lot of women perceive their body to be one thing because they are comparing how a clothing trend looks on them as compared to what they saw in a magazine or on a celeb (I'm generalizing of course). I don't really do that anymore. I can just look at what's on my body and go "well, this doesn't look the way I want because my waist is so short" I know it's short because I spent YEARS watching myself in a mirror. That's just the way my body is, if I don't like how it looks in these clothes, I don't wear it.
#1 is DEFINITELY enhance my waist and de-emphasize my tummy. As an apple shape, I like to create more of an hourglass look to myself while trying to decrease the beer belly/pregnant look (which apparently didn't work yesterday!).
Next up is playing up my bust line– I find that making my bust fuller (through padded bras) makes me look more proportionate and, in general, I just like showing off my cleavage.
After that– it's all about comfort! Some days those go out the window too… such as those days I want to wear a trapeze dress because it's so hot outside.
I find that I have narrow shoulders, so I like wearing things that emphasize that. Feeling like a bigger girl (in height & weight), if I can do something that makes me feel more "light", I kind of dig it.
1. Balance out my hips without looking like a linebacker
2. Give the appearance of a waist
3. Like you, show off wrists and ankles
I'd add "clarify to the world that my butt is actually a butt and not just more leg" but that seems an impossible feat
In the last 3 years I have really started paying attention to what flatters. For the most part I am happy with my figure and don't seek to choose clothes specifically to hide any problem parts. That said, I do choose clothes that emphasize the parts I like best: v-necks to show off my collarbone and draw attentions to the chestal region and dresses with a defined waist. I avoid empire waist anything even though my tum isn't so flat because I feel as though a defined waist is often better camoflauge than a tent-like drapery which can make one look preggers.
I am 5'7", roughly hourglass shaped (39/29/40), and I have a high, square shoulder line which is either awesome or the bane of my existence because it makes me look bigger, taller, and more imposing than I am. I recently dated a guy who was 5'11". I never went anywhere with him except in flats. And yet, he thought I was the same height as he was.
So, I try to dress to minimize my torso, widen my hips, and maybe not totally knock people out of the room with my massive linebacker shoulders. I am not always successful in these aims, though.
I'm already tall. Very very tall. So I don't try to make myself look taller. I'm also a bit of a pear shape, so I tend to try to maximize my bust. Other than that, though, I mostly focus on colors that flatter me.
Trying to de-emphasize my tummy (which could be achieved through, you know, exercise but frankly I'm not all that motivated) and enhance my bust and appear taller.
I also think the ideal for me is to create an hourglass figure. Which, my friends insist I have although on a smaller scale–I have trouble seeing it, I guess. And I do try to seem taller, but eh.
I don't know. I'm starting out on this developing a style thing and it's difficult to figure out what I'm trying to enhance and what not to.
I prefer apple shape to hourglass, so my priorities are:
1. Maximize belly.
2. Maximize belly.
3. Maximize belly.
Apples symbolize nourishment, education (apple for your teacher), and women's choices (Eve choosing to eat the apple). The hourglass symbolizes time running out.
1. accentuate legs
2. minimize thigh
3. frame the bum
4. make my belly look flatter
5. frame bust ( btw I really like scoop/ boat necks for this, although I realize you don't!)
My dress is almost always based off of my own sense of beauty. I like the concept of the "tall hourglass" aethstetic, but I'm also quite fond of the "slender pear" and "stick" aethstetics, too. I'm short (5'2) and quite thin (90lbs, give or take); a rectangle through and through. I think I might have some hourglass tendancies as well, as my hip and bust measurements are almost the exact same. My main priorities when it comes to flattering my body are to either:
1. maximize my hips, giving me a curvier figure; usually done with belts around the hips and skinny jeans.
2. lengthen my legs, making me look tall and willowy; usually done with empire waist tops, v-neck tees, and dark wash denim.
3. make me look as feminine as possible; skirts, ruffles, scarves, and wedges are my favorites. Though I enjoy the ability to look ambiguous and wear just about anything on my lower half, I prefer to look as ladylike as possible.
Oh! I almost forgot – I also really love my slim arms and surprisingly toned legs. Legs especially, which is another reason why I covet skirts so much; but arms, as well. I adore sleeveless garments, which unfortunately can make it a little difficult to remain modest. But tanks and sleeveless blouses, especially ones with thicker straps, are staples of mine – I don't know what I'd do without them.
Such variety of priorities! I'm loving this, as you can imagine.
Anonymous: Not rude at all! I carry weight in my hips and thighs mainly, as well as my low-slung tum, so I have some pear going on … But I also have relatively broad shoulders, so there's a wee bit of hourglass, too. As I'm sure you've found, many women are hybrid body types. I'm definitely a hybrid myself.
I've got an athletic hourglass figure so a sleek sillhouette is good for me, with a full skirt and a 'T' for the hotest days.
Emphasize ~ waist, calves, neck, bust
De-empasize ~ muscular thighs, shoulders, muscular biceps, mottled skin
I'm also a little long in the torso and a little short in the leg so overall balance is key plus I'm simply short!. The full length mirror is my honest friend. I've got two, one in my sewing room and one where I get dressed.
I dress to de-emphasize my bustline and to define my waist when possible. I have broad shoulders and am well-endowed, and then things just flow straight from there. I do enjoy that I have slim hips and thighs, but that unfortunately contributes to looking disproportionate at times.
I like items that:
1. De-emphasize my stomach
2. Make my legs look leaner
3. Make me look taller
4. Have a sleek streamlined fit (drapey loose pieces tend to overwhelm my figure)
I have narrow shoulders, a small head, wide hips, a big butt, a narrow waist and for the last 10 years, a large bust. I'm sort of an hourglass, I guess. My partner thinks so. No matter how thin I am, I dislike my upper arms. They look sort of chunky and the area where they attach to my shoulders looks weird. So all of my life I've dressed to cover my arms and minimize my butt and thighs.
But my partner has encouraged me to show off my curves more–he says I'm boobalicious and bootilicious. So I now, within the realms of appropriateness, I no longer dress to hide my lower body. I have also discovered clothing that shows off my waist and bustline. The only areas I still cover are the upper arms and my thighs (mainly because of cellulite, which I've had since I was a scrawny teenager). I don't care anymore that I have a big butt and wide hips–I revel in it.
Even was I was teenager skinny, I was never "tall and skinny" (I'm 5'6"). I always had the wide hipbones and the large butt. I'm happier now that I don't fight it.
There's another Marie here, so I changed my display name to MarieBayArea. Let's see, I'm petite and my size is between a small to a small medium, best to say I'm on the smaller side of average. I've learned to dress my figure, so I think I actually look smaller than I am when I wear clothes. I like to create more of a waist, show off my calves, ankles, feet (when the weather is warm-i love pedicures and polished toenails), wrists, forearms. I'm naturally modest about my body, so I like to cover up my upper arms, but not too much as I have a tattoo on my left arm that tends to be a fashion "accessory" for me. I also like to cover up my thighs and knees, but am o.k. when I wear tights and leggings to bare above the knee. And the shape of my bum is pretty decent, so when I wear jeans, I feel happy enough with that part of my bod. And since I'm petite with not very long legs, I like to wear shoes with a small to mid-size heel (1-2.5 inches).
I'm a 5'6" inverted triangle with a big rack, so my priorities are, from top to bottom:
1. Tame bosom.
2. Define waist.
3. Hide spare tire.
4. Make hips and butt look fuller/curvier.
5. Show off legs.
Generally, if I achieve the first one, the rest of it falls into place. But that first one is not easy! It took me years to figure out how to manage my chest — my strategy for much of my life was to buy big, dark, baggy tops and hunch my shoulders. A few years ago, in my late 30s, I finally figured out that I was better off creating some balance between my top half and bottom half, which meant defining my waist and emphasizing my hips. At the same time, I discovered that if I wear a knee-length skirt instead of a mid-calf-length skirt, and maybe add a little bit of a heel once in a while, my legs — which I’d always considered a liability — are actually not half bad. (Why does it take some of us so long to figure this stuff out??) So now, for the first time in my life, I wear skirts more often than pants, and that also helps draw the eye south and makes me feel less self-conscious about my top half. There’s still no missing my rack, but nowadays I look a lot more proportional than I used to . . . and I can stand up straight.
I am already tall (6ft) so I don't particularly try to look taller. But I don't try to look shorter either. If heels will look cute with my outfit I wear them. I am about average size 12-14 in weight. So I am balancing that tightrope of regular sizes/plus sizes.
My priorities are:
Colors and cuts that make my face look fresh/de-emphasize weak chin.
Not make myself look heavier. (avoid muffin top, the wrong sort of empire waists, and tight capris that cut off my pale legs at a wide spot).
Show off my cute small feet.
Hmm, my priorities in order are:
1) Make my lower half look in proportion. I'm thick and muscular, which doesn't bother me but makes some skirts/pants hang oddly on me. Basically, my butt and thighs are larger than my hips.
2) Cover up the fact that I don't wear a bra. I'm allergic to latex and barely an A cup so I usually go commando up top, but I don't necessarily want to draw attention to my nips.
3) Balance out my long torso with my short legs
4) Cover up my bacne. It goes through good and bad periods but I'm supersensitive to it even when it's not bad.
I love dresses but don't like summer dresses because I feel like they rarely accomplish all of these things (or even most of them). I am working on getting over my issues with that, though.
What an interesting question!
I'm a 38-28-39 hourglass shape, so I like my clothes to accentuate this. My priorities (in order):
1. Emphasise the waist.
2. Fit on the bust – these first two are probably neck-and-neck, as I wouldn't even consider going out in an outfit that didn't do both. And most clothes don't do both. I like to show off my bust without (as Kiyanna Shanay says) "looking like a hooker". I try to shop for V-shape and scoop necklines.
3. Show off my slim calves.
My body does not look like an alien's in real life, but it is so weird by standard sizing that I can't say I have any priorities other than "find something that fits." I'm an extreme hourglass, 38DDD, long legs, short waist. I basically have a plus butt and chest on a misses body — anything from 14/L to 16W/1X in knits, "go f— yourself" in woven/structured.
As far as trousers are concerned my quest is for something that accommodates the butt without billowing out like I'm a little kid in Mommy's clothes through the leg and at the waist. I don't wear many trousers. Tops, same thing: I need something that doesn't pull at the chest but that has a waist (and then has room again at the hip). Jackets, my goal is for it to close properly over the chest and hip (I hate a jacket that won't close) and yet for it to have arms less than 357 feet in diameter.
If I have to abstract all this:
1. Accommodate chest and hip/butt complex without pulling or those vile horizontal wrinkles
2. Show off relatively thin midsection, emphasizing rib level rather than belly level
and that's it, really.
1. Minimize hips, and the little pudge in my lower abdomen.
2. Elongate legs, with heels or by wearing high-waisted bottoms.
Actually, writing this list made me realize that the thing I struggle with most is balancing the length of my torso with the length of my legs.
I'm a pear who wishes she were, well, not.
My priorities are:
1) disguise round hips, rounding thighs and butt (which, BTW, seems to be turning into my upper thigh area–why didn't anyone tell me my arse would start to make a run for my knees?)
2) show off calves because they are okay, which means all skirts must hit on or just above the knee, otherwise there are tree trunks, sometimes hairy tree trunks. I like a heel but I also like a flat. My legs are proportionately longer than my torso, which makes me seem taller than I actually am, so I'm okay with a flat shoe as long as it is pretty.
3) cover upper arms, because I think this is lady-like. Not sure why I think that. I love a 3/4 length sleeve and I also love an extra long skinny sleeve. I think a lot about sleeves. I flap my arms about a lot so I think they should be nicely dressed.
Althought I measure 165cm, I don't have any problem with my height. Actually I don't even wear heels frequently! My shoulders and hips are similars and carry a little fat on my stomach, so I think I'm like an 'H'. My priority then is really simple: de-emphasize my stomach and keep the looks aways from this part.
However, I'm always worry about colors… how to create a good looking and not-boring combination.
Interesting question. Thanks!
Wow, this is really fascinating. As a fairly thin 'I' shape (stick!) I try to wear things that allow the illusion of a waist, but I don't really care about the bust/hips thing. I like to bare my arms because they are quite toned (yoga) but I never bare my legs above the knees (although I wear shorter skirts with tights in winter).
1. Show off my waist.
2. Always wear heels so I don't look 5'2!
3. Try and cover my pale body as much as possible without looking ridiculous in the summer heat.
Hmmm… I am fat (size 18-22) and nothing I do would make me look tall and thin!!!!
In any case, when I buy clothes or dress I go for something totally different than emphasizing/deemphasizing a particular body part. I have only one rule:
1. No pinching or tightness, no discomfort.
Other than that, I go for a pull together look that shows thought and care: makeup, hair, accessories, cared for clothes.
My decisions on clothing are usually related to how I want to look and what my schedule is like for the day (fun, fierce, fearsome, elegant, funky).
Fun post Sal.
I consider myself to be somewhere between tall and willowy and an hourglass. But when I am heavier, I tend towards a pair shape, and my torso/arms stay thin. I seek to:
1. Add volume to the top
2. Shorten the torso
3. Show off/elongate legs
4. Minimize foot size (weird, but true).
Creating a waist and minimizing hips/thighs are secondary. I never consciously try to enhance my bust. I accept that I am "elegant" on top (as my mom says).
I have small shoulders, so I always struggle with pieces that make my head look tiny
Oh man… I sort of (flat-out) ignore all of the "figure flattery" rules and just toss on whatever I feel like wearing.
The only thing I don't go for is high-waisted ANYTHING. It messes up my proportions too much by making my legs look freakishly long, dwarfing my upper torso AND making me look pudgy around the middle. It just ain't pretty!
1) make sure my waist is visible, even if I;m wearing a baggy top and you can see it when I move
2) make sure my bust isn't squoosed. I have one bra that makes me look about a cup size smaller and it weirds me out every time I see myself in the mirror.
Other than that, not too much. But I am a natural hourglass shape, and if I can't see that I don't feel like me somehow. Everything else is open for being played with, I either like or at least don't actively DISlike most of my body (most days)
1. maximize hips
2. minimize shoulders
3. lengthen legs
4. shorten torso
Ah, the plight of the inverted, long-waisted triangle!
My priorities:
1. Show off my legs
2. Show off my collarbone
3. De-emphasize stomach
4. Make sure that I don't lose my neck. (That's a clothing/hair combo in my book.)
5. Look taller – though that doesn't necessarily mean heels.
I have the hardest time figuring out my body type, though. I am curvy, but I don't have an itty-bitty waist so I'm confused.
I have no waist, no hips and I'm busty. Sort-of model shaped except that I'm way bigger around. Anything high waisted hits me half-way up the bust and pants are nearly impossible to find. As an example I can pull my jeans off without unfastening even my belt.
I'm thinking… I'm thinking… I guess I like clothes that show my shape, and don't make me boxy. I have very broad shoulders, a short torso, and a small waist, followed immediately by a large, high butt and a very short crotch depth, so it's really, really easy to look boxy. (One reason I almost never wear buttoned classic shirts. Even the fitted ones are… not usually great, and the collar right up there with my shoulders makes my head come right out of my body like a bull's.)
I love my shoulders. I love things that make them look wide and angular. I like necklines that show my very bony collarbones (but not V necks. I don't know why I hate V necks, but I do.) I like things that make my torso look longer and show off my shape, so fitted or knitted empire-line dresses or tunics with flared skirts are often a win.
I don't like to show my upper arms, as they are meaty, and floppy since I stopped lifting heavy weights. I'm leaning towards hiding my thighs these days, unless there are tights involved, as I'm starting to notice some little spider veins on them (blech). (That's a shame, as I like my curvy legs and used to enjoy short skirts.) I don't like too much cleavage (my breasts were never what they could have been, and even with lots of support, the cleavage is not particularly perky), and I will NEVER in public wear anything that requires me to go freely braless. The world is very definitely not waiting for that.
I don't think I ever try to look "tall". It's simply not happening. I like to think that good clothes make me look "not as large or quite as solid", but photos show that this is a lie.
I'm somewhere between an hourglass and a pear- tall, wide hips, small bust, average shoulders- but I'm absolutely new to fashion, and I don't really think about figure flattery when I get dressed. I have a "uniform" of t-shirt, fleece (or two- the heating at my high school acted up, and I kept the habit), knit pants or maybe a long full skirt if it's warm enough, hair in a ponytail. Mostly I just make sure I don't wear red and purple together, and such. (I know you can pull it off, but feel free to take it as a challenge if you like!
) Although thinking about it now, when I look for special-occasion dresses (prom, most recently) it has to not draw attention to my hips, and cover my whole back because I have scoliosis and I'm kind of self-conscious about it.
I'm a pretty classic hourglass, so I:
1. Emphasize the waist.
2. Look for a clean fit through the shoulders.
3. Play up the bust and lengthen the neck.
4. Play up my hips and rear.
5. Show off my shapely lower arms.
I try to..
1: Cover my thighs.
2: Hide my back.
3: Show off my chest.
4: Hide my tummy.
5: Make my feet look dainty.
6: Cover up my upper arms.
I am short, 5'3''. 117 lbs. Larger chest (34D), I wear a size 4. I have more of an hourglass figure too. I wear pretty much what I want, Pencil skirts are great for me, high waisted jeans, low waisted jeans, t-shirts, tank tops and button up shirts for work make my middle look slim …I think I am pretty lucky although I hate my upper thighs and NEVER wear shorts!
Oh and I'm an hourglass. Perhaps a bit more topheavy.
I'm actually pretty happy with my body right now and don't really concentrate on minimizing or emphasizing anything as much as buying clothing that fits. I recently realized that about a 1/3rd of my clothing did not fit well and made a pact with myself to only purchase items that FIT. I'm petite and an "I" shape and sitting at about 106 lbs right now so finding small clothing is my challenge.
I do like to emphasize my waist and belt almost everything. Anything to brings out my small curves is good too.
I'm an hourglass with a big bust and a tummy. Tummy is slowly being lost, but at this point that's because I don't want to die moreso than for vanity or fashion.
My priorities:
1. Hide tummy
2. Fit bust (hard to do) and don't make it look bigger.
I'm pretty much good with the rest, not that it's perfect, but I have accepted myself. I made my peace with not being tall and thin way back in the 70s. I'm a Jewish girl and I'm shaped, like one. I am what I is. And I have accepted that I need to alter things to get a perfect fit.
This is my first time commenting I think, but I LOVE your blog. You are so very wise, and you actually remind me of a very good friend of mine.
I am average height, a bit on the short side (5' 4") and I am a size 10-12 depending on the brand. I have a large chest – 38D – and a belly that I wish was flatter. I have large hips also. I'm not really sure what kind of a shape I have, maybe hourglass with a bit of pear.
It took me YEARS to learn to love my boobs. These boobs grew when I was in 6th grade. 6th grade! I wore ill-fitting bras for years and years because I was shamed of my boobs. I didn't know how to deal with them and I didn't want to draw attention to them. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I finally got a bra that I liked, that made me look and feel good. My boobs are not really perky so I go for bras that push up my boobs. I love my boobs now, though. They make me feel sexy and feminine, and they help to balance out my lower half. I like cleavage. Not hooker-type cleavage where you can see everything, but I do like cleavage. I love v-necks and scoop necks. Showing off the girls makes me look skinnier than hiding them really does.
That being said, I love empire waist shirts because they emphasize my bosom while kind of hiding my stomach. I go for fitted shirts in slightly heavier material because thin, sheer material shows off all my fat. I never wear button-ups. They look AWFUL on me.
I have really thick thighs, so I try to cover up my thighs a lot. I don't really like shorts, which is a bummer because I live in Houston, so it's usually boiling here, but I get cold really easily and spend most of my time indoors anyways. I wear jeans a lot, dark jeans that are usually straight-legged or bootcut. I love straight-legged jeans. They shouldn't work on my body type, but I feel like they create a nice, slim line. I like to wear straight-legs with tunics. I feel like that is a really flattering combination on me.
I have, over the years, learned to accept my body. Sure, I'd kill to have a body like Kim Kardashian's, but I also know myself, and I know that I would never work that hard. It's my body, not anybody else's, and if I'm okay with my body, then I don't see why other people would have a problem with that.
Goodness, I typed a lot. So sorry!
Since I know this is all about having a positive self-image, I have to ask: Is all this talk of de-emphasizing really good for our self-image? I mean, I get that it's better to talk about "de-emphasizing" than to say "I hate my thighs" or whatever, but it seems like this is still about trying to make our bodies fit into the societal ideal, rather than embracing ourselves as we are, no?
This is really a rhetorical question, since of course, I too try to dress to flatter my body, and perhaps that means "de-emphasizing" some aspects (like my large-ish bust, for example, which I do not dislike, but don't need to "emphasize," either! it emphasizes itself plenty! and actually, maybe that's the key – my bust needs no emphasis).
So, honestly, I don't know. Sorry for the incoherent thought, I just found the long lists of things that women want to de-emphasize a little disheartening! Is it just me?
My body is similar to Kim Kardashian's. I have a smaller butt, though haha. I think she is just gorgeous and isn't stick thin, which I love!!
Inder-ific: I know what you mean, lady, especially since most of us DO have things about our bodies that we want to downplay. There are lots of comments here and many women have talked about the things they like least about their figures, and how they work to disguise those things.
Several things to consider, though: MANY of the comments here include both “hide” and “show off” priorities. There’s a lot of body love in here, too! Many have also pointed out that they prefer to create silhouettes that are different to the societally-approved norms. And several have talked about how dressing to draw attention toward or away from certain body bits has boosted confidence, or changed body image for the better.
Additionally, I want women to feel free to talk about their bodies in this space. I want them to talk about how they clothe and view their bodies and we need some descriptive terminology to do that successfully. “Flattering” is getting a bad rep because it carries implications of thinness, which I understand. But I don’t think that it’s harmful to want to emphasize or de-emphasize aspects of your figure. We all make choices about dressing, and items of clothing will emphasize and de-emphasize aspects of our bodies whether we acknowledge it or not. If we can discuss those affects and learn how to use those tools, we can better decide WHEN and IF we want to use them at all.
Self-love, to me, doesn’t necessarily mean loving every single aspect of your body and soul exactly as it is today and never making changes. Nor does it mean that you can’t change how you look, temporarily or permanently, without committing some terrible act of betrayal. Change is part of life, and to love yourself you often have to change yourself … or learn to embrace a changed you that the world has altered without your consent.
Body acceptance and self-love are fluid concepts, and both center on the self. That means each of us is the sole decision maker when it comes to how we look, in both body and dress. If we want to give the impression of bigger or smaller boobs, create the illusion of a waist, or manipulate our proportions with clothing lengths and sizes, it’s our prerogative to do so. Can we always be sure that our decisions are free of beauty-paradigm influence? Of course not. Should we, therefore, ignore concepts of figure flattery? That’s certainly an option, and I think many women prefer to focus on other positive aspects of dressing. But I don’t think it’s harmful or damaging to learn about our bodies, learn how they’re shaped, and learn how clothing interacts with those shapes. I don’t think it’s damaging to dress in ways that draw attention to or away from aspects of our physical selves. Because, in some ways, doing so gives us MORE control over how our bodies are perceived and MORE of a connection with our physical selves.
Crap. Effects! Effects! Not affects. Ugh …
Sal, thanks for responding. You make many good points! Especially, that there is actually a big difference between "de-emphasizing" a part of your figure and actively "disliking" that part. So I do try to de-emphasize my large breasts, even though I've also made peace with them and would never say I dislike them (of course, do I need them to get bigger? no!).
You also make an interesting point about how having a good body image doesn't mean we don't want to change a thing about ourselves. That is super-interesting. Personally, I like the term "acceptance" – we need to accept ourselves as we are, and love that self, while of course, striving to be as healthy and happy as possible. Or something like that. I see feeling forgiving and gentle towards yourself as Step #1 towards making positive change in yourself.
Also, I find homonyms are THE WORST for typos. I do know the difference between affect and effect, but sometimes I type the wrong one. Also, I know the difference between there, their, and they're, but I seem to type by ear, so sometimes the wrong one comes out! That's the worst, because you figure your readers just think you don't know basic grammar!
Inder-ific: Totally, TOTALLY agree that forgiveness and gentleness are key to self-love and acceptance.
And I'm glad the differences between de-emphasizing and disliking came through … but I've gotta credit you for bringing that point to the fore! And I'm extremely glad you did.
Thanks again for bringing up these issues. I'll be re-posting our dialogue later in the week to broaden the discussion.
I'm short and pear-shaped. Things I think about when getting dressed:
1. Cover thighs and less-than-cute knees.
2. Make super-narrow shoulders look wider to balance out my hips.
3. Show off arm muscles.
4. Show off waist & general curvy silhouette.
Being very short-waisted, it's easy for my waistline to get lost, although it is there, I swear!:) A curvy shaped dress or blouse is my friend.
As previous posters have noted, my dressing priorities include a combination of things to emphasize, things to minimize, and things to balance:
1. Balance long torso and short legs
2. Decorate and enhance small bust
3. Show off long neck and square shoulders
4. Show off curvy calves, delicate ankles, and small feet
5. Minimize slightly pear-shaped hip and thigh area
It just occurred to me that these "rules" have applied to my entire life, no matter my age, or my weight, or the prevailing fashion.
The 4 things I think of when purchasing an item:
1)does it make my bust look bigger? I will not buy turtle necks or really high necklines. I mainly stick to V necks, or boat necklines, horizontal stripes etc.
2)Along the same line as above I have a lovely neck and gorgeous clavicle bones and so I don't like scarves or high necklines covering that up.
3) I buy tops and dresses that emphasize my tiny waistline and flat stomach. I try to stick to fitted tops and if they are empire waist I'll tuck them into a high waisted skirt.
4)The parts of me I cover up are my upper arms and my thighs. I will not be caught in short shorts unless I'm by the pool. And like you if it's hot out I could care less about my arms.