I’m not a particularly superstitious person, but I do believe in wishes. Every six months, Husband Mike and I write lists of five things we want to exit our lives, and five things we want to enter our lives. We seal them up in an envelope, and open it once six months have elapsed. And friends, I am FLABBERGASTED by how these lists become part of my reality during that tiny window of time.
It may seem pointless or naive to cast wishes out into the universe and just wait. But how can you expect ANY change to happen if you don’t vocalize what you want?
With that in mind, I’d like you to throw some coins into the bloggy well:
What do you wish for women? The generations to come and the ones living now? What do you hope their world will do to support them? What have you learned yourself that you hope no other woman will have to learn? What have you learned yourself that you hope EVERY other woman will learn?
I wish that women could trust themselves, personally, stylistically, professionally.
I wish that women could view each other as automatic allies instead of potential enemies.
I wish that women could speak out without being labeled as harpies, and keep mum without being labeled as weaklings.
I wish that women could see themselves as beautiful, every day and no matter what.
What about you?
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I wish that women could move forward from outdated and useles notions of feminism and onto a more productive activism.
I wish that women could analyze their own behaviour and understand what motivates them to the positive and negative.
I wish that women could each find their own way to be whole within themselves.
I just thought I'd let you know that in the adds in your rss-feed they are advertising sexy single russian girls and millionairs searching for young thin ladies. Not sure if this really fits with your message, though I understand you wanting to generate revenue from your blog. Personally I find such ads really offputting especially on such an article. And I normally I would have just thrown out your rss feed, but I really do like your blog very much and would miss reading it.
Oh and I wish more women could read your inspirational bodyimage posts
jokerine: Thanks for letting me know. I've been trying so hard to get Google ads to work for me, but they just won't. That crap keeps coming up. I'll pull them now.
This is a wonderful list, Sal. To these, I would add:
I wish that women, from the time they are teens, would know that they are whole in themselves, that they do not need men to complete them.
Thanks for getting the ball rolling.
Clara
Your list is lovely.
I wish that women the world over did not have to fear rape or genital mutilation.
I wish that women would get the same encouragement and opportunities from the time they are born that men do.
I wish that women in academia and all other fields would reach parity with men in terms of salary.
I wish that women would see through all the stupid jive that is aimed at controlling us and our bodies. It's so effective when we internalize it and oppress ourselves.
This includes double standards, attitudes about how we shouldn't make more money than men, constant commentary on our bodies and clothing, railroading us into being men's maids, cooks and janitors, valuing how sexual we are or are not, prioritizing our bodies over everything else we are…I could go on.
Wake up, ladies! They have us wasting our time, chasing our tails, hating ourselves. It's BS!
(PS…what is an "outdated and useless notion of feminism?" We need real feminism, and it's not what the right wing has demonized it as. Feminism is about women's equality, that's pretty much it. Not equivalence, not dominance, and some battles have been won or at least we've made some progress, but if anyone thinks we don't still need to fight for our rights they are wrong.)
Hi, this is an awesome post. I wish:
- that we can interrupt the cycle of shame and guilt that is so rampant in our society… and that prevents us, when we're first trying to get a hang of what it means to be ourselves, from feeling what WE feel, being what WE are.
- that "self esteem," "self-help books" and the like, would cease to need to be "taught" and that we can continue to be tapped into that self-knowing we were born with, uninterrupted by society…
- that other women don't have to spend as many years as I did learning the simple truth that whatever you wear, who ever you date, what ever you have or don't have means NOTHING about your inner worth. And when I say "learning it" I don't mean in your head… I mean in your whole body.
Much love to you and all of us…
I wish that we, as women, instead of talking about another woman in a negative way, we could try to be understanding, even supportive, or at least offer a friendly hand and some advice.
I wish that young women could understand that pleasing men or being attractive is NOT their life mission- I wish they could be themselves and not have to try so hard to 'fit in'
I wish ladies everywhere had a good balance of making themselves happy as well as everyone else in their life (directed at the overworked moms who never think of themselves)
I wish that we as women could find a balance between being healthy and being comfortable with ourselves- overbalanced either way is not good for us.
I wish that more women would read thought provoking articles and blogs like yours, sal.
I wish that girls would be taught more explicitly and at a younger age about the importance of self-confidence, sisterhood, and to not use their sexuality to gain others' approval. And this should be taught by women. We don't teach girls enough about being a woman.
I learned that everyone else is just as unsure of themselves. You should never opt out because of doubt or fear. Forge ahead and make life choices that challenge you.
I wish that all children and their mothers would be cherished.
I wish that every woman would value her unique and individual beauty.
I wish for enlightenment, wisdom, and understanding to be the foundation of our decisions.
PS–My husband and I make up wish lists, then hide them from ourselves. When they surface, it truly is amazing how many of our 'wishes' have come true!
thanks for another thought-provoking post!
Valerie from Cle Elum
I like the routine fabulous x
I wish that women could see themselves as something other than a number on a scale. Or a clothing label.
I wish that we as a society would become absolutely horrified and do everything to stop and protect violence against women (rather than see it as a "domestic disturbance" or something that a woman is partly responsible for).
I wish that we taught our young girls to find the sense of self worth to work towards their financial security and future successes.
I wish that young women would speak up more- in class, on our streets, and in politics. So often, my brilliant female students let the men do the talking. They miss out, but mostly, the other students miss out on the ability to learn.
For women … I wish for academic equality. For rough equivalence in the number of male and female students / grad students / lecturers / … all the way up to the top, because I think we're capable of it and have the desire for it (if we're not trained out of such by society), and because it would be wonderful for that to be normal (as opposed to e.g. a female lecturer being a rarity / regarded as an oddity). For equal opportunities for education for all women, everywhere (this one'll take some time … though there are some marvellous charities making strides in the right direction).
For a greater awareness of feminist issues and an understanding that just because we can now vote and *can* now hold lots of jobs, that doesn't mean that equality has been reached in those areas, by any means.
For humanity in general (and thus also for women): for greater understanding. And treating each other as human beings and hence all as equally worthy, no more, no less. Not as dress sizes, not races, not sexual orientations, not disabilities, not class privilege / lack thereof, … as humans.
I also wish for cheese. (My word verification is 'chesse' – so close!)
I wish that women would feel free to approach motherhood as a glorious calling and not a sad waste of potential.
I wish that mothers would see themselves as worthwhile investments and not shadows whose value depends on their children's successes.
I wish that we women would be nicer to ourselves.
I wish for women and girls to get help exiting lives of poverty, both in the US and globally. Women are much more likely to be poor than men, whether they're young or old, single or married, with kids or without kids.
I wish for women and girls to get the health care they need, and not to put off looking at that lump or this rash or that toothache because they can't afford to see a doctor.
I wish that no woman or girl would ever be silent again about violence done to her because "no one would believe her anyway."
Your list rocks, Sal!
I wish that women and girls all over the world had better access to education and health care, especially regarding STDs and contraception.
I wish women had more courage to follow their own paths, and not be so scared of upsetting the status quo of "traditional womanhood".
I wish women would step away from rivalry, and get closer to real, universal sisterhood.
I wish that women would feel proud to be both beautiful and smart, without having to pick one.
I wish that we would assume one another to be friends, rather than assuming competition.
I wish that the infighting about what thoughts and feelings REALLY make you a feminist would fall away and women could celebrate and work together.
I wish everyone (men and women) could feel truly loved.
I for all women everywhere that we can see ourselves as individually valuable: NOT inrelation to our 'elders' or parents or bosses, the MEN and other women in the world, or to our children…we are individually valuable all on our own, inside, outside, and upside-down…for what we do and who we are, not what we look like, or how we seem when compared to others. And our beauty is radiant and does not come with an expiration date!
* : )
Sal,
My wish is for you to continue this excellent, courageous blog and enjoy a wealth of readers who will consistently benefit from your insights and observations. My wish today is similar to one made 30 years ago: to see the day when women would join together and break from the oppression and sickness of "old school" rules. I didn't want to dishonor my feminine nature, yet always believed it sabotaged some ambitious efforts. Thankfully, we're never too old to learn and recalibrate our beliefs!
Your genuine and loving qualities are seeping throughout this post! I really enjoyed reading it. You're dipping into the well of all abundance and summoning your sisters (grannies and mamas too!) on the planet to come in . . . step a toe in the waters.
Though many of us grew up under misinformed training or lack, feeling deprived and like we just weren't "enough," words like yours are breaking through those false beliefs. (Yeah, this blog is about WAY MORE than yummy fashion!)
I admire that you not only care enough to find this fountain of personal truth, but have a generous love to want EVERYONE to realize the good news of their own magnificence. We can all bask in this great treasure. And as we cease criticizing (particularly self-criticisms!) and choose to delight in the unique beauty of each other (even if their choices differ greatly from our own), we ALL benefit.
{{{Sal}}} Thank you for giving us a daily reminder of HOW WE CAN CHOOSE to create a beautiful life . . . wherever we are, with whatever is in (our not in) our closets. . . right here, right now.
Hugs, Jean
ps: Please be sure to give HM and Cal a couple of "atta-boys" for their tasty photographic skills!
I wish that women would be able to choose their lifestyle without having to constantly justify their choice.
I wish that the work that mothers do for their families (and society) would be more appreciated.
I wish women would stop to compete with each other the way they do and be bitchy. I wish women would support each other instead of making each other feel bad.
Jean: Oh love, I don't know what to say. For the first time in ages, I'm just plain speechless. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for your kind and supportive words!
I wish that women would learn to love themselves and their bodies in all shapes, sizes and colors much earlier in life.
I wish that women would establish themselves in their own lives before they even think about getting married or having children.
I wish that women in America would be paid just as much as their male counterparts.
I wish that women would stop taking crap from men that don't deserve them.
I wish that women would remember to still make time for their girl friends after they've found their dream guy.
I wish that all women would take up a new interest – one that scares them tremendously – but the accomplishment of which will show them who they are.
And I wish that women would embrace their intellectualism – even as they embrace their sexuality – and recognize that they are 2 sides of the coin of feminism.
I love this post… thank you! I agree with everything and I also wish…
Women would stop being so incredibly self-critical.
That women would be nicer to one another in the workplace. Stop with the jealousy.
Demand more respect from our significant others.
Sal, I love this post!
I wish that women everywhere do not have to worry about sexual harassment or assault. In the workplace, at home, on the street — anywhere.
I wish that women everywhere could reach an equal level in salary as their male counterparts, without being stereotyped into gender normative roles along the way. On the same note, I wish that women everywhere can reach to the professional level that they aspire to, with encouragement from colleagues, friends and superiors all along the way.
I wish that teenage girls everywhere can realize that all those lady magazines are wrong about their "flaws," and that what's more important– character, intelligence, determination, to name a few–cannot be seen. If they start believing in themselves at a young age, then body-image issues may affect them a little less in the future.
I wish that we women didn't look to others to decide if we are enough. I wish that all the time we spent on self-loathing we would spend pursuing our passion and enjoying our lives. I wish that our identity didn't depend on feeling like a good object for the eye of the other.
I WISH : that all females could see their inherent beauty fully and wholly. This one wish would make all the other wishes automatically come true. Self-love is at the center of any joyous person. Love is what this crazy world is all about!
Sally, this is soo awesome! I'm going to see if my bf will do this with me starting this weekend.
ooo how 'bout this one to start:
I wish Sal and HM were going to Scotland!
Happy weekend!!!
I wish that all women could feel confident dressing for themselves and not for what they think men or anybody else wants.
I wish that women would set aside at least a little time out of every day to do something for themselves.
I wish that women would stop comparing themselves with supermodels and just be comfortable in their own skins.
Most importantly, I wish that all women would wear leggings or pants with tunics.