So I’m curious: How do you feel about lumpage and bumpage? As in, are you willing to tolerate tights or panties or jeans that squeeze your midsection into … well, sections? When you pull on a pair of tights, do you suffer from Segmented Worm Syndrome, and tolerate it? Do you just accept that some bras are going to dig into your backflesh and wear thicker shirts to mask it?
Because let me tell you, I have ZERO TOLERANCE for such things. Oh, all right, I get segmented by my tights sometimes. But I hate it passionately and tug on them constantly and would rather have a pair that comes up to my bra-line than one that sits at my waist and squeezes. I buy my thongs in XXL because I cannot abide divided hipflesh. And I’ll own up to occasionally purchasing bras that don’t fit because it drives me bjonkers to have a lumpy back. (Don’t turn me in to the Fashion Police, please.)
My opinion is that if something is pushing your body around, shoving it outside the garment, chopping it up into segments, or otherwise fighting against its natural shape, it just doesn’t fit you. And I am willing to buy up five or six sizes, if necessary, to get something that sits peacefully against my parts. It’s more comfortable, it’s more flattering, and I’ll use it more.
But I am a medium-sized girl with relatively few sizing hang-ups.* It occurs to me that someone on the road to weight loss might be mortified at the thought of buying tights two sizes up, that women on the cusp of plus-sized might struggle to find thongs that WON’T bind, and that some things just segment and nothing to be done. Also that, depending on how you’re built, trying to find certain garments that don’t squeeze may feel like trying to find a talking unicorn with nine legs.
How do you feel about The Big Squeeze? Are you willing to work around it? If a garment is sized FAR larger than your baseline but fits better, will you buy it? Will you buy it but resent it? Where on your bod do clothes typically squeeze you, and how do you deal with it? What non-squeezy garments are hardest to track down?
*Emphasis on the relatively.
Illustration courtesy Nin(j)a.