How to Hone Your Style

I’ve pored over The Lucky Guide to Mastering Any Style, a book that outlines some fundamental feminine styles – bombshell, American classic, Bohemian, rock & roll – and suggests essential pieces to procure if you’d like to try these looks out for yourself. Although I disagreed with many of their requisite item suggestions (Are bright yellow zippered sandals ESSENTIAL to nailing the “mod” look? I think not!), I was fascinated by how tidily they distilled each style into a handful of staples. Making these iconic styles work suddenly seemed so simple, laid out there in neatly organized rows of clothing, shoes, and accessories.

But in reality, defining your personal style is no mean feat. You can wear what the mags tell you to wear, but very little of your true self is likely to shine through all those of-the-moment pieces. You can chose a single, classic style like the ones described in Lucky’s guide, but you’ll probably feel trapped by the constraints of an aesthetic that is so rigidly defined. You can do what most of us do and wear a well-meaning but unwieldy hodgepodge of pieces that you’ve accumulated over several years’ shopping time … but, like most of us, you’ll end up looking unrefined, undefined, and uncertain.

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, a girl can start with one of the exercises suggested below. These are merely jumping off points, since personal style refinement is a complex, slow-moving, and deeply personal process. No two women will take the same route to signature-look-creation, and their routes may encompass years of false starts, experiments, and total about-faces. But if you’re drowning in a sea of bland, undefined clothes and accessories, desperate for a lighthouse that will guide you toward the shores of Styletown, consider giving one of these babies a whirl:

1. Identify a celebrity style icon
Celebrities, obviously, are going to err on the side of trendy. But many of them have well-paid stylists whose sole responsibility is to make them look tee-totally gorgeous before they leave the compound for their morning latte. So, you know, celebs generally look pretty damn good and can teach us a thing or two about impeccable style. Spend some time poring over fashion and gossip mags and websites, and see who strikes your fancy. Are you drawn to Katie Holmes’ classic chic? Sharon Stone’s unapologetic sexiness? Rachel Bilson’s playful gamine? SJP’s arty experimentation? Tear out some images and make an inspiration collage. Look in your closet and identify pieces you already own that your celebrity soulmate would wear. Examine the pieces that don’t fit in. If your newly elected style icon was FORCED to wear these items, how would she accessorize and style them to make them work? What key items are missing from your wardrobe that will make you more aligned with your celeb of choice?

2. Indentify a non-celebrity style icon
Now be careful with this one, girls, as it must stay firmly in the realm of imitation-as-flattery and never veer off into Single White Female territory. Most of us know at least one woman who looks perfectly put together every day. No matter if she’s running out to buy tampons and ice cream, headed to a business meeting, or jetting off to a posh cocktail party, she always looks chic, natural, and perfectly herself. Never a good idea to become a straight-up mimic, but – as you would with a celeb icon – poke your head into your closet and pick pieces you could imagine this woman wearing.

How would she accessorize and style the items that don’t fit her look? What about her style would you change to make it your own? If you’re not comfortable emulating a woman in your own social circle, cruise around the wardrobe_remix group on Flickr. There are more than 10,000 people posting daily outfit images to this group, so you’re bound to find someone in there whose style speaks to you. Once you’ve identified a woman with covetable style, click on her username to view her personal photostream. Then follow the closet-refining steps outlined above.

3. Make a list for today, and one for tomorrow
Not interested in drawing inspiration from anyone other than yourself? Not a problem. Grab a cup of coffee, a notepad, and a pen. Start by listing words that describe your current style. Are you classic, messy, conservative, eclectic, punky, or casual? List the main colors in your closet. Are you all black, white, and gray? Obsessed with autumnal tones like olive, orange, brown, and oatmeal? Does your pastel-packed closet look like an enormous Easter egg? Describe the cut of your clothes: Boxy, fitted, loose, long, cropped. Finally, get some really outrageous descriptors of your style working: Gypsy, water, toucan, architect, harlot, garden, stargazer. NOW! Quickly – without thinking too hard – jot down anything about your current style that you find dissatisfying.

Finally, make a list of adjectives and phrases that you WANT to describe your personal style. Do you want to be more colorful, textural, structured, ladylike, edgy, or bold? Do you want to wear skirts all the time, or employ more hoisery and jewelry, or be less girly? What items do you have now that fit into your ideal style? If you could only buy three new items to help get you moving toward this style, what would they be?

4. Pick your five faves
Go to your closet and select your five absolute favorite, pedestal-worthy, save-them-from-a-house-fire items. Now, I’m not talking about the pieces that you wear the most often, because those are likely to be basics. I’m talking about the items that called to you – nay, SCREAMED at you – from the shop window, the items that you gratefully paid full price for, the items that draw tons of compliments but only get worn a few times a year. Why do you love them? Take the first item of the five, and build three outfits around it using only clothes and accessories you already own. Do this with numbers two, three, four, and five. Think about the look you’re defining by putting these items at the center of your stylistic universe. How would you describe it? Can you maintain it? Can you style some of your more staid pieces – with accessories, shoes, or embellishments – so that they align with this new direction?

Often, defining your personal style is more about elimination than procurement: You are very likely to require a purge, but less likely to require a shopping trip. Start with what you’ve already got that fits into your desired aesthetic, and work on HOW to wear it. Keep items that show even a glimmer of potential, but jettison items you’re 100% sure won’t work with your chosen stylistic direction. Create a wishlist of clothing, shoes, and accessories that will enrich your new look … but try not to shop until you’ve lived inside it for at least a month. You might change your mind, or tweak your ideas. No need to rush the process, as it will become a lifelong one.

As you can see from the photos at the top of this post, MY personal style is extremely eclectic. I explore it daily right here, yet was unable to identify my signature look in any of the styles showcased in The Lucky Guide to Mastering Any Style. Nevertheless, I am very deliberate in my selection of new wardrobe items: They must show off my waist and mask my hips, they must have a touch of yesteryear, they must be chunky and bold, they must be extremely versatile, they must either be utterly classic or utterly fascinating. I think of my style as arty-eclectic with a broad streak of retro influence. And although that may sound vague as fog to you, it makes perfect sense to me because I’ve spent years defining and refining it. I can look at a piece in a store and know instantly if it will work with my look, or be jarring and unwelcome.

Now. Since you are not done evolving, your style is not done evolving. There’s no reason to pick a direction today and force yourself to move in that direction ad infinitum. But exploring your personal style is a fantastic way to explore your inner landscape. The choices we make about physical presentation define first impressions, broadcast information about our tastes, and give observers a tiny glimpse into who we really are. Dedicating some time and energy to identifying the boundaries of your look is an investment in self-knowledge and self-confidence that is guaranteed to pay off.

Reposted from Look and Feel.