Posts
Interested in a little free jewelry action? Click on through!
November 10, 2009
Already Prettypoll: Are You Comfy with Self-love?
Lovely reader Bethany dropped this thought-provoking e-mail into my inbox a few weeks back:
Now that I can look in the mirror and not hate my reflection or focus on every flaw, I almost feel a little self conscious for thinking I am beautiful. It feels right to focus on flaws and try to improve. It feels uncomfortable to approve of myself, like I've become narcissistic. When people say I look nice it feels vain to just say thank you, and agree with them. I'm wondering if other people feel the same way, and so we settle back into our body loathing because it is more comfortable?
As I told Bethany, I know for certain that ours is a CULTURE of self-hatred, and I've had women write to me to say that they fabricate body image woes just so they can fit in with their less-confident friends. As for women who have reversed their self-loathing and feel suddenly narcissistic, I'm not as sure. I can certainly see how it might present a mental and emotional conundrum ...
Are you self-conscious about self-love? Do you worry that simply accepting compliments will make you appear vain or arrogant? On a more personal/private level, does it seem unnatural to look in the mirror and feel pride and affection for your own reflection?
As someone who spent years sunk to my armpits in the quagmire of self-loathing, I still have days when I scowl at myself and doubt and nitpick. But I am generally in a place of healthy self-love and acceptance and I feel acute relief that I can love my reflection unabashedly.
I'm very interested to hear how you all feel ...
Now that I can look in the mirror and not hate my reflection or focus on every flaw, I almost feel a little self conscious for thinking I am beautiful. It feels right to focus on flaws and try to improve. It feels uncomfortable to approve of myself, like I've become narcissistic. When people say I look nice it feels vain to just say thank you, and agree with them. I'm wondering if other people feel the same way, and so we settle back into our body loathing because it is more comfortable?
As I told Bethany, I know for certain that ours is a CULTURE of self-hatred, and I've had women write to me to say that they fabricate body image woes just so they can fit in with their less-confident friends. As for women who have reversed their self-loathing and feel suddenly narcissistic, I'm not as sure. I can certainly see how it might present a mental and emotional conundrum ...
Are you self-conscious about self-love? Do you worry that simply accepting compliments will make you appear vain or arrogant? On a more personal/private level, does it seem unnatural to look in the mirror and feel pride and affection for your own reflection?
As someone who spent years sunk to my armpits in the quagmire of self-loathing, I still have days when I scowl at myself and doubt and nitpick. But I am generally in a place of healthy self-love and acceptance and I feel acute relief that I can love my reflection unabashedly.
I'm very interested to hear how you all feel ...
November 9, 2009
Just Deserts
Your body gets blamed for its faults and criticized for its shortcomings. Your body gets lambasted for its weaknesses and scorned for its quirks. Your body gets abused and shamed and taken for granted and it all seems so easy, natural, normal.
But your body deserves so much more.
Your body deserves respect.
Reverence.
Care.
Love.
Approval.
Admiration.
Affection.
Acknowledgment for its natural, undeniable beauty.
Praise for its strength and resilience.
Acceptance of its precious uniqueness.
Your body deserves respect.
Who will give it these things, if not you? Who will see your body for the miracle that it is, if not you? Who will nourish your body and tend its needs, if not you? Who will lavish your body with much-needed praise and nurture it with patience and understanding? Who will give your body everything it deserves, if not you?
You first.
Image courtesy Cia de Foto.
P.S. No, I didn't spell it wrong.
November 8, 2009
Sunday Shoes: Dansko Mayas
These are my wedding shoes. No, I didn't wear them at MY wedding. I've worn them to about 20 weddings where I was shooting as Husband Mike's assistant. I can wear these clunkers with comfy black slacks and be on my feet for 10+ hours without feeling it. Much.
We haven't shot a wedding in a couple of years, but they pop up occasionally. And I'm thinking, in the meantime, these could be my brogue substitute. I look ridiculous in brogues, but these boat-like monsters with tights and a floral dress? Cuteness.
Blot, Blot, Blot
Since it falls under the heading of "truly bizarre," I excluded this little gem from my recent beauty post. I felt it was odd enough to merit its own post! It's a trick I picked it up from a recent issue of InStyle, and it has served me well thus far:
Did you know that toilet seat covers make fabulous blotting papers? UNUSED ONES, OBVIOUSLY. They are just the right thickness and consistency to absorb facial oil, and won't dry you up like the Clean & Clear jobbers I use by the truckload on my shiny, shiny, shiny face. I won't be stocking up on toilet seat covers anytime soon, but they've come to the rescue in many a restaurant bathroom already!
Image via MySistersJar.
November 7, 2009
Groove Your Body to ... Good Old War
It's Saturday night! Why not groove your body to "Coney Island" by Good Old War?
Outfit Roundup: Week of October 25
White long-sleeved tee, thrifted at ARC's Value VillageBlack sheer layered skirt, thrifted in SF
Heather gray tights, Gap
Boots, Born Tessa via Dodd's Shoe Company
Necklace, Loehmann's in Chicago
Cocktail ring, Karin Jacobson
I saw these boots in the November issue of Lucky, worn with a fairly similar outfit. Then I saw them on Barking Dog Shoes. Then I became obsessed, and bought them. And I adore them completely. They're as comfy as they are cool.
Husband Mike adores them, too. If he could squeeze into them, he'd borrow them. Fortunately they're far too small, so I don't have to share.
On a whim, I slipped on this superfantastic Karin Jacobson cocktail ring. It's rare for me to mix up my ring routine, but I felt like it made sense to balance out that chunk of a necklace with a chunk of a ring.
Green vintage dress, thrifted at ARC's Value VillageTeal tights, Banana Republic
Gray Tsubo Acreas
Teal and turquoise leopard print scarf worn as belt, thrifted
Gray shell pearl necklace, Target last year
Fossil watch, I've had it since college
When I first thrifted this dress, it seemed too big in the upper-bodice/bust. But when I tried it on at the tailor, with every intention of having it taken in, it fit fine. Clearly, all the push-ups I've been doing lately have filled out my pecs. Or I gained a bunch of weight in my ... shoulders. Whatever, just glad the dress fits now!
Black leather coat, Wilson'sWhite tunic, Intoto
Pink tank dress, Express
Black leggings, Target
Black boots, Tsubo Kison
Vintage pink fur hat, see below
Cal called me and said, "Hey, what are you doing today?" And I said, "Shopping." She said, "There's a vintage sale you NEED to check out in Richfield. I am carrying around nine dresses right now." She ended up buying 13 before we even arrived, and I bagged 10 of my own ... but the real prize of the day was likely this hat. It was $3.
And I was already wearing my little pink and black ensemble, so I could just tack it onto my head and spend the rest of the day attracting attention to my noggin.
Navy blazer, thriftedInsane polyester thing, vintage sale described above
Navy tights, Banana Republic
Yellow peeptoe slingbacks, Aldo
This outfit should be way cuter. In theory, it is unbearably cute ... but in practice? Meh. Still love that insane polyester thing, and it will make many more appearances, I'm sure. Also:
I ate my cats, you guys. I had to do it. They got in my outfit shot again. Plus I was reeeeeeally hungry.
November 6, 2009
Lovely Links: November 6
Roni has been through a lot with her body, including ED and surgeries. Now she's made her peace.
Want to see some truly stunning winter coats? Most of which neither you nor I can afford? And ALL of which are by Canadian designers? Daily Outfitting has put together a roundup that made me drool all over my keyboard. If those don't do it for you, try these via IndieFixx.
Ya know those McQueen shoes that everyone went ga-ga over? Here's how they compare to a normal pair of shoes. Additionally, that "style" of shoe has been available for years. Don't believe me?
If you enjoyed my post this week about life with a spare tire, dig into this amazing older post from Daddy Likey, titled Autobiography of a Belly.
Marketing Mama highlights the MOA's most recent ad campaign, which I agree is 100% brilliant.
The ladies at College Candy are madly in love with Bandits. And no, I don't mean bandana-clad bank robbers.
Still a little freaked at the prospect of shopping online? Audi has written a fabulous guide to buying carefully and successfully from online retatilers.
Promise to tackle this myself soon, per many reader requests, but here are Imogen's tips for minimizing a prominent bust.
Super excited to hear about the launch of Fab Over Fifty. And, in case you missed it when the first round of cheers went up, do check out Advanced Style. Who says chic is the exclusive domain of the under-25 crowd?
Stephanie's imaginary outfit posts make me endlessly happy.
Want to see some truly stunning winter coats? Most of which neither you nor I can afford? And ALL of which are by Canadian designers? Daily Outfitting has put together a roundup that made me drool all over my keyboard. If those don't do it for you, try these via IndieFixx.
Ya know those McQueen shoes that everyone went ga-ga over? Here's how they compare to a normal pair of shoes. Additionally, that "style" of shoe has been available for years. Don't believe me?
If you enjoyed my post this week about life with a spare tire, dig into this amazing older post from Daddy Likey, titled Autobiography of a Belly.
Marketing Mama highlights the MOA's most recent ad campaign, which I agree is 100% brilliant.
The ladies at College Candy are madly in love with Bandits. And no, I don't mean bandana-clad bank robbers.
Still a little freaked at the prospect of shopping online? Audi has written a fabulous guide to buying carefully and successfully from online retatilers.
Promise to tackle this myself soon, per many reader requests, but here are Imogen's tips for minimizing a prominent bust.
Super excited to hear about the launch of Fab Over Fifty. And, in case you missed it when the first round of cheers went up, do check out Advanced Style. Who says chic is the exclusive domain of the under-25 crowd?
Stephanie's imaginary outfit posts make me endlessly happy.
Video: Style Versus Taste
November 5, 2009
Reader Request: Sal's Beauty Tips
Several requests for beauty tips have rolled in over the months, and I've studiously ignored them just as I did requests for jean-related advice. Why, you ask? Because I am such an amateur when it comes to cosmetics and the complexities of beauty products and routines. I mean, I'm clean, don't get me wrong. I'm a well-groomed lass. But most days I wash up, scrunch some product in my hair, and leave the house with a wet head and a bare face. And everything I know about cosmetics and their application, I've learned from reading Sonja's posts over at The Coveted. And I mean RECENTLY, people.
However, in thinking it over, I've realized that I do have an opinion or two about how to keep pretty. And you'll sense a theme in them almost instantly ...
1. Natural is better: No matter how resilient your skin/hair/body appears to be, you're always best served to choose products that have few ingredients, natural ingredients, organic ingredients. Mineral makeup, plant-based hair products, natural soaps ... all will do better things for your bod in the long term than chemical-laden concoctions.
2. Don't smoke: Yeah, yeah, I know. What fun is THAT? But seriously, if you want to keep your skin healthy and elastic, clear and fresh-looking, keep the smoking to a minimum. I would cough and hack like a noob if you handed me a cig ... and although I battle the hormonally-triggered acne, I have been told by doctor after doctor that I have youthful, healthy skin. And that a lack nicotine in my system is a contributing factor. I'm just sayin'.
3. While you're at it, watch that diet: We like to think that the products we apply to our exterior selves are the only ones that will affect the lustre of our locks and the glow of our complexions. Not so, not so! The more French fries and candy, pizza and Cheetos we ingest, the more likely a breakout. I do not care about the latest study results claiming that chocolate is fabulous for your health. It's common sense. Junk food is called "junk" for a reason, and it will take the shine right offa ya. Indulge, by all means, but indulge on occasion! If you're subsisting on crap alone, you nails, hair, and skin will show it.
4. Minimize heat treatments: Another tip that will make me wildly unpopular! If you blow dry or flat iron your hair every day, it WILL rebel eventually. Hair needs rest. Commit to wearing it in an untouched bun, ponytail, or hat a couple of times a week. It will thank you.
5. Let your nails breathe: Manicures are gorgeous. But if you don't allow the living nail beneath to get some air and grow out naturally every once in a while, you'll end up with grotty yellow talons. My nails split a lot - more often when I'm eating badly - so I'll put a single coat of clear polish on them when I want them to grow a bit longer. But even that comes off for at least a week at a time each month. More often, if I'm feeling less fancy and more earthy.
6. Play with makeup: I had never even APPLIED mascara to my eyelashes until about four months ago. And once I did, I understood why many women apply it daily. Do I apply it daily now? Hells no. It looks great, but feels ookey and I'm just too lazy most days. However, allowing myself to experiment with it was quite valuable, and now I can gussy on a whole other level when the occasion arises. Try something new in your cosmetics regimen every once in a while. You might love it, you might hate it, you might utilize it once a year. But you'll never know if ya don't branch out once in a while. Maybe you were born to wear a matte red lip ...
7. Be kind to yourself: Don't tan. Don't deprive yourself of sleep or water or regular exercise. Don't wear shoes that give you angry red blisters. Don't pull your hair back so tight you get a migraine. Don't stop wearing that bright blue eyeliner you love because some snob in your chemistry class made fun of you. Don't dye your hair over, and over, and over, and over. Don't use anything topical that claims it will get rid of your cellulite. Be smart about your beauty choices, and don't do anything that hurts, stings, burns, or feels bad/unnatural/unhealthy to you in any way.
Products I swear by:
Kiehl's Marvelous Mineral Mascara - goes on, stays on, relatively clump-free
Kiehl's tinted lip balms - I only use petroleum-based balms, and this is my fave
Almay Smart Shade Blush - gives just a hint of color, very natural
Physician's Formula face powders - all minerals!
Nearly everything in the Garnier Fructis line - a really solid selection of hair styling products
Cetaphil facial cleanser - fantastically mild
Aveda Brilliant Humectant Pomade - fab for curly hair touch-ups
Aveda All Sensitive Moisturizer - the lightest, least greasy I've found
Neutrogena Anti-Residue Shampoo - once every other week, or even less
Well. Was that crunchy-granola enough for yas? Basically, anything beauty-related coming from me is going to encourage you to live healthy, use natural products, and minimize the impact on your body. Nothing remotely groundbreaking, but there it is.
If anyone is hoping for specific beauty info or tips, let me know. I can wrangle a guest post or two out of my more knowledgeable blogging compatriots.
November 4, 2009
Who Are You?
Appearance is a fundamental component of identity.
Although genetics exert tremendous influence, you do have a measure of control over how your body looks. You control food intake and physical activity. You decide if you want to wear makeup and, if so, how much. You direct your hairstylist, manicurist, tanning salon attendant, tattoo artist. You select your clothing, shoes, and accessories. You decide how and when you will WEAR those clothing, shoes, and accessories.
You, and you alone, craft the physical self that you present to the observing world.
It's a lot of responsibility, that level of control. You cannot point fingers and blame others for your ill-fitting slacks and outdated hairdo. But it's also tremendously empowering. So much in life is out of your hands, so many events drop into your lap unasked for and unwanted, so many choices seem predetermined. But in this, you drive. You make every call from nail color to heel height to muscle tone to hem length. Appearance is yours to craft.
And appearance is a fundamental component of identity.
Who do you want to be?
Image courtesy Bukutgirl.
November 3, 2009
This Week I Love ...
... leather clothing.
In the past two months, I have purchased two leather skirts and a pair of leather pants. This is in addition to the leather skirt I already had, my gorgeous leather vest from Attiladesign, and at least three leather coats. But has my thirst for leather clothing been slaked? Hardly.
In the past two months, I have purchased two leather skirts and a pair of leather pants. This is in addition to the leather skirt I already had, my gorgeous leather vest from Attiladesign, and at least three leather coats. But has my thirst for leather clothing been slaked? Hardly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
